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a "push gift" for having a baby?
I was at my cousin's baby shower last weekend and her & my other cousin were talking about their "push gifts". I was baffled - I had never heard of such a thing.
DH & I don't have kids yet, so they had to enlighten me. Apparently, once you give birth, your DH gets you a gift...not just anything - something expensive.
My cousin who already had her 1st child got a right-hand diamond band and her sister who is due this Winter doesn't know what she wants yet but said she has 5 things she is deciding between.
Maybe I am just too practical but I find this kind of...silly? I know when that time comes for DH & I, I will be happy just to have given birth to a healthy baby. Plus, if DH bought me diamonds when we just brought a potentially pricy infant into the world, I don't know that I could accept it/enjoy it?
Thoughts? Has anyone received such a gift & if so, what did you get as a gift? I'm not trying to offend anyone here, just saying it's not for me. Granted, I have never been PG, so maybe by the time I am, I will change my mind? 
Re: a "push gift" for having a baby?
I know people who received gifts from their husbands after giving birth, but it was not called a "push gift". It was something that my friend's husband did because he wanted to. My friend received a very nice necklace and tennis bracelet.
She did not pick these items out. He did. She didn't even know she was getting the gift.
Having babies isn't for me but I'll gladly accept any gifts DH wants to give me.
Honestly, it seems like 'push presents' have been mentioned quite a lot in the media in the past few years. It is a great way for retailers to convince people that giving yet another expensive gift is not only expected but required.... or else you're a bad dad/husband.
An American Girl's Travels
lol... I feel like I'm living under a rock. I've never heard of this, and don't know anyone who's gotten a push gift.
That being said... I haven't had kids yet. But from what I know, having babies isn't a clean business. I'm not sure I would appreciate jewelry after hours of sweating/puking/pushing/screaming, etc. Seems to me a nap, shower, and pain meds would be enough.
My Dh and I joke that my Dyson was my push present, but if I was to really get a push present I would want something practical, or like a spa day or maid service for 6 months.
My dyson was bought a little bit before DS was born is why its joked as my push present.
LOL!
Seems like these things would be a little more useful
Ha! I actually ended up returning my wedding china for a vacuum.
I've heard of them, know people who did them, but we didn't take part. DH and I both felt our son was our present.
I think going into having a baby expecting a push gift is where I hate the whole concept. Why is giving birth being turned into a gift event?
BUT, a coworker of mine told me his version, and it was sweet. He wasn't going to do a push gift. Basically, he too was like WTF?
But then he watched his wife give birth and seeing what she went through, he was like "I ran out as soon as I could and got her something. She went through THAT? She deserves something!".
It was funny how he said it, and his attitude made it all very cute and sweet.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This is my confusion too. Isn't your healthy baby that is finally here in front of you, in your arms the "gift"? To me, that would be enough.
I really haven't heard of this, and I agree it seems a little silly. I mean, if some ways it could seem really sweet for the husband to do this, but the sentiment seems ruined if they are expecting it.
As far as I know, my husband will not be doing this and I am just fine with that. I would actually feel bad if he spent that kind of money when we have a newborn and could put that money to better use. IMO, the baby is the best gift (that and no longer having to be pregnant
). I mean to each their own, but I think it's unnecessary.
As a "thing" ... it's a little weird and contrived.
That's how I see it also.
I got a push present after my son was born. My DH took me to pick out a new band for my engagement ring because the old band wasn't fitting comfortably anymore.
DH was of the variety of guys that said "My wife went through THAT! The least I could do is buy her a gift"
I got charms for a necklace with dd and ds's initials and birthstones. Not very expensive.
I don't like the term "push gift." Ewwwww! Plus, what if the baby is born via c-section? Do you not get a gift then?
I would never ask for anything or expect anything, but I'd certainly be grateful if MH gave me a gift as a "thank you" for going through childbirth. It's a thoughtful gesture because I think I would feel really guilty if he had to go through a lot of pain and discomfort and I didn't, for something that the two of us were sharing. I wouldn't be pissed if I didn't receive anything.
That being said, I WOULD be pissed if he spent a lot of money ... babies are expensive, yo. I don't need to have a diamond necklace when we have a kid to feed and clothe and put through college.
I think your sentimental gift that you received was very thoughtful & sweet, Wahoo. I like that idea - *that* kind of gift, I can understand & get on board with.
I agree & also don't like the phrase "push". It gives you a visual that you don't want to have stuck in your head, ha! That's a good question about the C-section, I'd be curious to know! I would hope a mother still having to endure labor of any sort would get her gift!
Don't get me wrong - I am not judging or saying that a gift after giving birth isn't necessary or justified. I am just saying it's not for me.
Poor DH tried to surprise me w/roses for the 1st time one year for Valentine's Day...although I was touched & didn't of course say this to his face, I was thinking inside, "Ugh, I know florists hike up the price for this occassion so that was unnecessary $ to spend...". I know, I know...just enjoy it & appreciate it - and I did, believe me. BUT, I very much encouraged DH from that point, that small, potted plants are just as nice to me if he wishes to get me flowers.
I guess the point I am getting at, is this is how I am, so please, take no offense. I just think once a gift (on any occassion) is expected, there goes the sentiment.
I agree with Auntie - it's been around for a long time. My father gave my mother a push present
I agree that they have been around for a long time. In Rose Kennedy's biography she talks about all of the gifts she received when her (many!) children were born. After Edward, she received an emerald bracelet. Someone asked Joe "what are you going to get her for the next child?" and he told her "a black eye!"
Klassy.....
i think the whole idea of a "push gift" is weird... we get the blessing of a healthy baby, who could ask for more??
as far as "going through" birth. yes it's painful, and yes it's a trial, but my DH was right there with me the whole time giving me support. i don't need my DH to buy me things to have him show me how much he loves and appreciates me... taking his turn with the late night feedings etc is way more appreciated and needed from me than a piece of jewlery.. lol.... JMHO
I told my husband that I was buying my own "push present." It was five months into pregnancy. I was puking twice a day, nose bleeds in the shower every morning, and generally hating the whole ordeal. Kate Spade diaper bags were on sale, and I was like, "Sweetie, this is not a necessity, but I would like to have one of these." And God bless him, he endorsed my purchase and told me I deserved it since I had to go through all this.
(We are the kind of savers who would NOT usually buy a name brand purse.)
Yes, the result of having a baby is delightful, but women give up ALOT for that miracle that men just don't have to. And if our husbands want to spoil us with a present as a "thanks for doing that so I can be a daddy", I think that's totally appropriate.
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Couples express their love in different ways. ONE of the ways SOME couples express their love is through gifts. That's certainly true for DH and I. Our gifts are mostly not extravagant, but really a way to let each other know we are thinking of them. Occasionally, we may splurge on each other. It's nice for us. We're not living beyond our means or crazy materialistic.
When pg with DD, DH told me he wanted to get me some jewelry for the occasion, but wanted my imput about what to buy. Of course I was THRILLED to have a baby, I didn't NEED jewelry, but I hardly think it's judgeworthy for anyone to think this gesture isn't appropriate. I got a necklace and earrings with her birthstone, which will one day be hers. That little jewelry set has more sentimental value to me than my more expensive jewelry pieces, because of what it represents.
It's not for everyone, but I really don't get the big deal made by some people over this. Giving gifts to someone you love is a GOOD thing. And why is expecting a gift for birth any more or less appropriate than expecting a birthday or XMas gift?! It's a pretty momentous occasion that you just don't go through very often!
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
This is what I was thinking too, haha.
**LOVE** this!!!