My sister has been dating this guy for a little over a year. They are both pretty young mid twenties and have good jobs/good life pretty much. Anyway, whenever I come over (either planned or unplanned) they are fighting or just had a fight. Fighting as in calling each other names and saying "I don't wanna be with you anymore" but then they go back to kiss kiss hug hug phase and it starts all over again! I guess I'm old fashioned, I'm in my 30's and my husband and I have NEVER called each other a name as much as we get pissed off at each other.
What do you guys think? Is this normal to call each other names? I know I'm probably butting in, but she's my little sister and I love her and want to see her treated right and not be called a ***.
Re: Is this behavior normal?
There are many many couples who are like this: they live to have Technicolor fights...and then they have romantic, Technicolor make ups.
I'd agree with this sentiment, except to say that it's normal as in common, but not healthy.
Some people thrive on that kind if drama
Definitely not healthy. Sure, there have been two or three times when FI and I have gotten into an argument and sworn/called each other names, but these were isolated incidents, short-lived, and certainly not a regular occurrence.
SO and I are in our early twenties, and in the 2.5 years that we have been together, we have never called one another a name or used breaking up as a threat.
unfortunately a lot of other young couples equate relationship violence (usually verbal or emotional) with "passion" so this type of stuff is pretty common.
I know I'm probably butting in, but she's my little sister and I love her and want to see her treated right and not be called a ***.
Well, it seems your sister is just as much to blame as her bf. maybe if she stopped calling him names the cycle would break,
you really can not do anything about their relationship.
Ugh, I worry that my husband and I are like this couple sometimes. We're not always like that, though...more like we go through spurts.
Has your sis had other long-term relationships? If so, did they feel similar?
It's common, but it's not healthy. My sister is the same way (of course, anyone who knows anything about me knows she's BSC anyway).
Name calling and horrible fighting aside, they fight in front of company? Super lame. I don't think I'd hang out with them anymore, either.
I was in a relationship like that when I was younger. It was definately a "cycle" - bf would treat me badly, I'd yell and scream and tell him I wanted "out," then he would come back and be all nice "you're the only good thing in my life...."
No, it is not normal! Now I realize that if I say that in a fight, I mean it!
DH and I do not have fights like that. Our relationship is easy / easygoing.
It is definitely unhealthy. H and I would never and have never called each other names or threatened to break up during an argument. It's so disrespectful.
As for whether or not it's normal... I personally don't know anyone who has ever been in a relationship like that so I'd say no.