Trouble in Paradise
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Some people just can't take a hint...

My MIL is a horrible person.  I don't say that lightly.  When we went to marriage counseling, our therapist told my husband: "If Grim ever agrees to see your mom again, the guidelines should be Grim is NEVER to be left in a room alone with your mom.  If Grim is in the kitchen and your mom goes into the kitchen, you go in there and stand with Grim.  If your mom starts in on Grim, you leave, no goodbye, no other words are spoken to anyone, you just leave.  If you have children with Grim, you are to NEVER let your mom be around them at all without complete supervision."

 The therapist said that she was not going to diagnose MIL without ever meeting her but she said that MIL has serious issues.

Three years ago I finally had it (pre marriage counseling) and decided I was cutting MIL out of my life.  DH was okay with that.  MIL made a big show at a family function of telling DH how much she loved me and wanted to work things out with me.  DH came home told me about the whole thing.  I told him no, I was not willing to put myself out there again.  DH agreed that if it were him he would feel the same way.  He relayed to his mom that I was not interested in speaking with her.  So, she went ahead and called me anyway, on my cell phone during work hours.  She was rude and hateful so I just hung up on her.  DH told her that we had made it clear she wasn't to contact me.

My husband sees her at family functions that his sisters invite her to.  He doesn't talk to her much anymore.  I never asked him not to, he has to make his own decisions as long as he respects mine.

Anyway, all that for this...Tonight we got home and lo and behold, MIL sent me a friend request on Facebook.  Really?  I saw it and asked DH "Is she fvcking stupid?"

Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have.

Re: Some people just can't take a hint...

  • LOL.  That picture looks like Sideshow Bob. 
    Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have.
  • This is like Lucy holding down the football for Charlie Brown to kick.

    Your best bet: do not have contact with her at all anymore.

    Block her on FB; she shouldn't be able to bother you anymore.

    If she calls you, let her call away; let her messages go to voicemail. Delete her messages w/o listening to them.

    Or better yet, get your number changed.

    Don't fall for her traps or her passive aggressive nonsense. GL.

  • I'm with Tarpon on this one. My MIL is of a similar caliber. You have to stick to your guns otherwise you open yourself up to all kinds of abuse. Its a real hard thing, but you've got to protect yourself and enlist your H in helping you. Good luck.
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  • I'm sorry TGG -She's a tool. 
  • Where is your husband in all of this? Why does he tell you the stuff she says if he knows it's going to upset you? WHY does he even listen to her when she starts talking about this subject? Why does he want to continue to interact with her if she treats you so poorly?

  • Haha. My MIL actually defriended me (and DH). Since then, I have gotten no less than 4 requests from her on LinkedIn.

    I don't know what makes her think there is a chance in hell that I will accept.

    Block her. 

    I agree with everything that muddled said. You should listen to her. -ESDReturns
  • imagedoglove:

    Where is your husband in all of this? Why does he tell you the stuff she says if he knows it's going to upset you? WHY does he even listen to her when she starts talking about this subject? Why does he want to continue to interact with her if she treats you so poorly?

    DH supports any decision I make.  He tells me what she says but it doesn't really bother me, normally I just roll my eyes.  Most of the time he's venting, so I blow it off.  I can understand him wanting to be with his family (Brothers, sisters, nieces & nephews, etc.) and he tolerates her being around during those events.  For the most part, he ignores her.

    Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have.
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