Trouble in Paradise
ESDReturns
member
"Evolutionary game theorists...ignoring beebees on the nest since 2005"
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Friday confessions
Let's get the board moving a little bit. I don't have a ton of work to do today!
I'm trying to think of something but I'm boring. Maybe that's my confession lol.
"Evolutionary game theorists...ignoring beebees on the nest since 2005"
Re: Friday confessions
H is out of town and I am acting like a 17 year old whose parents are away for the weekend - eating junk, staying up super late, watching crap TV, etc. LAME.
I have been feeling depressed this week. I think it's because of all the medical stuff I went through last week. It's been hard getting back into the groove of work/exercise and being normal around FI. Whenever I feel vulnerable and he shows up for me, I always expect he's going to hurt me in some other way afterwards. He never has done this and I'm 100% sure it has nothing to do with him. I know this is related to my dad as my dad was never there - especially in medical situations and I was always alone. I don't want to always feel like this when something happens that makes me feel vulnerable. Gah.
I always feel like I'm moving forward, but this week I feel like I've regressed. I know I'll get back to normal, but it seems hard to keep that in mind this week.
Well now you have to post it.
I want to give DL a big ol' hug. And the Murph too.
Spill it. This is against the rules.
DL- I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now. I hope you are able to adjust your expectations appropriately and I'm glad that your Fi is such a patient man. You'll get there. I know it.
BBE- I do that!! My secret is out, though. When DH is away, the first think he asks when he calls is what I ate that day.
H & I are getting a storage unit, because we're getting a new bed and H refuses to craigslist the one we're using now, since we're definitely buying a new house in the next 3-5 years. Ignoring the fact that a storage unit for even 3 years is way more than the cost of a new bed, lol. We have next to no storage in this house (a non-climate controlled attic and the closet in the master, and that's it) so we need a place to store things like holiday decorations anyway.
He told his mom about it, and now she's all, ohhh I can totally put a few thiiiings in there! So now I'm pretty sure we're going to have the bed, like one bin of Christmas stuff, and it'll all be buried by her sh*t that she just needs to throw the f*ck away, especially since she's not going to magically gain extra space in the time frame where H & I are planning on moving. I am really frustrated and pretty pissed at H about it.
DL, are you seeing a therapist? I can't remember.
Broc, I'd tell her "NOPE!" and if she gives you crap to put in the storage unit, just put it in a dumpster instead.
I know...I'll put on my flame suit...
I have a crush on a coworker. And I'm 99.9% sure it's mutual. OK, I'm 100% sure.
And this isn't a big company where we can avoid each other. At our peak we had under 10 employees.
(Just for the record- it's been just over a year since the divorce was finalized. I've "dated" but I've been more focused on me. Not saying we're gonna be in a relationship, but this makes it a little less flammable, right?)
I wish I could give you a big hug. I'm sorry DL!
Just say no, Broc! Get the smallest possible one for your bed.
Ooooorrrr, if she has so much stuff that she wants to put in storage, she can rent one and you can use it for a couple of years.
How old is this bed (mattress?) anyway? Is it really worth holding on to?
Thanks guys - yes BBE, I am. Usually I don't get hung up on this stuff anymore, but it does seem to come back strong when something happens that leaves me feeling vulnerable. I have been use to doing thingson my own and not depending on anyone because everyone (namely my parents) that I had depended on in the past couldn't show up and I would end up being disappointed.
So now that I have someone who shows up - and this is what I have been working so hard to have - I have a hard time with it because I think it brings up the past disappointments with my parents.
See - I feel like I have this all worked out in my head. Why can't my emotions just follow too.
I have a really flameworthy one.
Deep down, I kinda think the whole middle east along with a few other parts of the world should be razed to the ground, leaving no one alive, to just start from scratch.
Yeah, I know, they're people, and I feel bad for thinking this. But the misogyny just kills me. Even the progressive ones who come here still have that misogyny so ingrained that they don't even bother to question behaviors and their underlying reasons that we'd find to be repugnant, even in our own ridiculously unequal culture. I'm thinking in particular of many people I've worked with and befriended, people of reason and science. If even they can't figure out that, you know, maybe it's f*cked up to think that your wife needs to cover herself more because a man had the audacity to tap her on the shoulder to get her attention, then what hope is there for anyone else? They might just be beyond redemption completely as a whole culture.
And yes, I know, respect for different cultures and whatnot. But let's face it: sometimes people's cultures are stupid and downright wrong. It's hardly a virtue to treat injustice with respect simply because it comes from a different spot on the globe.
I know that wanting to blast the middle east to oblivion is rednecky and you're probably imagining me wearing camo and waving a confederate flag. So feel free to flame me for this. Maybe if what you say isn't something stupid about respecting other cultures, I'll feel more hopeful about that part of the world someday being a safer place for women.
Are you a surgeon in Seattle? Do you have a half-sister named Lexie? lol.
I am glad that you have someone that shows up for you every time. It's a good good thing to have in life.
Who's the surgeon from Seattle?? I'm definitely glad I have him, it is much better to go through things when you have someone who supports you there rather than to be alone.
I get this. And I feel similarly, even though I know it's abhorrent to feel that way.
It's kind of how I feel about old people.
I picture you as an unfeeling robot, Kuus.
BEEP BOOP BOP BEEP OPTIMUM SOLUTION: RAZE TO THE GROUND BEEP BOOP BEEP BOP BEEP
That's meant to be a compliment.
And yeah, I kind of think the unit is a waste in general, but we do kinda need one for our 'stuff' until we get more in-house storage. Like I said, all our Christmas stuff is in the master closet. We were doing alright using part of Joaquin's closet until she got here but now not so much.
But then you have the younger teenage generation that has their own issues. My son and I were just talking about this yesterday. He's afraid that the world is going to go to hell even worse than it is now when his generation becomes working (or non working as he feels it will be) adults. He said that his generation is the most selfish, lazy and racist generation alive at the moment. I don't disagree with him at all from what I see and what he tells me.
Racism is very alive in the schools where we live (lots of kids in gangs). Maybe it's where we live that is the issue and not the generation itself.
I get the strong reaction to the Middle East, I do. In my career I've dealt with a lot of people from that region (and, no, I'm not going to discuss it on a public message board), and to say we are worlds apart is an understatement. It's bizarre to know someone thinks I'm a common wh0re because I wear pants and work outside of the home. But, I don't know. I've never had a bad experience of feeling disrespected or "less than". Hell, I've had worse experiences with the American form of sexism. I know the misogynistic culture is deeply ingrained in the Middle East and I don't agree with it at all, but it's hard to lump everyone into the same category. XBF is Persian and he was raised to treat everyone with respect - and it's not like he's second or third generation here.
There's a lot I want to say, but I'm failing in conveying that today. My feelings are complex on this subject. I guess I'd feel better about saying raze the place if we could hold ourselves as being morally superior. But we are not.
I would argue that nearly all cultures are coming from places of misogyny. Our traditions show that women are property. In the French language, the word for 'woman' is the same as the word for 'wife' -- not so for the male equivalents.
I'm sorry DL. I hope you can work through your feelings soon.
My confessions:
I loved Dawson's Creek and was so disappointed when Joey ended up with Pacey and not Dawson. I can't stand Katie Holmes, she can't act and if she wasn't married to Tom Cruise, we wouldn't remember who she was. She sucked on HIMYM last week.
My friend and I are having Twilight night to catch up on all the movies so we can be ready for the new one. I'm a little embarrassed and I judge myself for this.
My hope is that as more old people die off, the less chance they have to pass on their ignorantass ideas of race and sexuality to their children and grandchildren.
Granted, there may still be some people who are filtered out who have those same ideas but, maybe their number will continue to lessen as time goes by.
I am so disappointed to hear this. I've been really impressed with the undergrads and young grads who have come through my labs in the past few years, so much so that I thought this generation now becoming adults was going to be a really good one. I'd hate to be wrong (even more than usual).
Totally sucked. She needs to go back into retirement. STAT.
I'm actually flabbergasted at the difference between 20-somethings and teens. I am not that old, but I work with teenagers, and I feel like they are all just waiting for me to tell them what they need to do. They are bright, entergetic, enthusiastic and have great ideas, but when it comes time to put things into action, they stand around and wait for me to tell them it is time to pick their nose. I feel like 10 or 15 years ago, when I was a teenager, adults would say "okay guys, here's the problem. Solve it." and we moved mountains.
There was a post on MM a few weeks ago saying how all the baby boomers needed to retire and give their jobs to the younger generation. That really, really bothers me. I think that more people need to work for their goals than to have them handed to them.
You know, I thought she was well-chosen. Her wooden acting was perfect for someone with whom Ted has no chemistry. Stroke of genius on the casting agents' part, I tell you hwhat.
I agree, her lack of inflection and spacey eyes were perfect for the Slutty Pumpkin.