Trouble in Paradise
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Is anyone else still reading the TristaGoode thread?
I feel like she's allowing this so that she can continue her little happy housewife charade.
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
Allowing this, yes. But is there a sort of passive aggression there? Like, see all I do for you? Do you really deserve a woman who does all this and puts on makeup, too? Or is she just throwing herself wholeheartedly into the Donna Reed role until she cracks? I don't know.
Bah-boom-ching.
It's relevant in the way as to when in the eff do i have time to work out and take care of me? I'm doing a little more than contributing to the household, I feel overwhelmed by the household and work and more work.
It's relevant in the way as to when in the eff do i have time to work out and take care of me? I'm doing a little more than contributing to the household, I feel overwhelmed by the household and work and more work.
^^^^
ah ha.
Now we're getting somewhere.
EXCUSES
EXCUSES
EXCUSES
yes, you're right, divorce his ass tomorrow.
sigh
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
MARTYRS SUCK
I'M TALKING TO YOU MOM.
YUP.
It's really fuucked that you're doing this to yourself. My mother never got therapy that she desperately needed and I'll never have a fully loving relationship with her because of it.
Well done!
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
Why won't you make the time to get therapy?
Is that direct enough?
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
I will be making the time for therapy. It just wont be right now like you suggest I need. It will be after I'm done with my physical therapy, It's not like I'm not doing anything to fix the issues I have with myself. I have turned to God for help, he is a great listener and doesn't have much to say.
Best advice I have heard all day
GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
Bullshit.
He has a lot to say. Starting with things that involve love and forgiveness and valuing people and not wishing those people to make themselves miserable.
Why is your physical health more important than your mental health?
I am trying, God is all I can do right now. Have you ever had pain that feels like 100 knives are stabbing into your head everyday? That is why PT is more important right now. If I'm going to be a miserable *** I would rather do it without a migraine.
*headmotherf*ckindesk*
This is what I'm talking about.
OK, I didn't say anything in the original post, but honestly, I have to now. This is an excuse. I have a very busy 11 month old daughter. I also work a 40 hour per week job with a commute that ranges from 1 1/2 - 2 hours per day. I do the majority of the chores because my H works 50-60 hour weeks. And *bonus!* we're both in college - he's full time, I'm half-time. He has about 5-10 hours of homework a week, I have about 6-8 per week, on top of attending classes. So I'd say that you and I are about even when it comes to full schedules. However, I still manage to put myself together in the morning, put makeup on, and make it out of the house in something other than sweats. I've still managed, in that schedule, to get to doctor's appointments, including therapy appointments, because it's important to me to be mentally healthy.
The underlying message that I think most people are getting out of your posts is that you're depressed, you're not taking care of yourself, and you're making excuses as to why you're not willing to take the time to deal with it. If it was important to you, you'd make the time.
I am trying, God is all I can do right now. Have you ever had pain that feels like 100 knives are stabbing into your head everyday? That is why PT is more important right now. If I'm going to be a miserable *** I would rather do it without a migraine.
Dude, of ALL the people you could have said this to, you did actually choose the wrong one. Or maybe the right one.
Yes, indeedy, I know the pain of daily, persistent, chronic migraines. Of 100 knives. Of doctor after doctor after doctor who cannot help. Of driving and praying that you get into a car accident because doing so might knock you unconscious or, even better, land you in a hospital because while there, you might get good drugs. Of fantasizing of letting go of the wheel so you careen into that tree. Of curling into a ball on the floor and debating whether rocking back and forth and moaning softly is the best idea--because you can actually see the waves of pain behind your eyes when you rock or moan. Of actually literally hitting your head against a wall because that pain momentarily shocks you out of the original pain.
I have had that pain.. And it's poison and it's horrible and it affects your mind and soul and body. that you have to deal with as best you can--through doctors and therapy.
But know this...the poison that you have currently in your heart and soul isn't any less damaging. (an aside, that poison is damn likely to be a contributing cause to migraines--at least as much as the migraines are contributing to your other issues) It's not something you pray away--any moer than you pray away a gunshot wound or a tumor or a migraine. You know the physical pain is in God's hands, but you are still seeing a doctor, not just praying for it to get better. You know the mental pain and the poison from it that's seeping into every part of your life is in God's hands but doing chores is somehow more important than seeking help for depression.
I will also say this, if your church is worth anything at all, you can go there, explain the problems you are having and get some HELP w/ the other stuff (with child care, with housecleaning, with cassarole delivery--whatever) so that getting medical help is easier.
Not really picking up what you are laying down. I have chosen prayer to help me through this rough patch. A lot of people turn to prayer during hard times in their life. This is new to me, not sure it will even work. I just don't know how praying to someone who desires to be loved and needed as much as I desire it can be a bad thing? I feel like he is the only one who relates to me right now.No one knows my problems like he does.
Prayer does not cure depression. Especially not when it's likely caused or contributed to by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Research shows that the best outcome for depression results from a combination of talk therapy and psychotropic medication (preferably managed by a psychiatrist, not a GP).
Here, this is what you're not picking up, because maybe an anecdote will get through:
A farmer is in Iowa during a flood. The river is overflowing. Water is surrounding the farmer?s home up to his front porch. As he is standing there, a boat comes up. The man in the boat says, ?Jump in, and I?ll take you to safety.?
The farmer crosses his arms and says stubbornly, ?Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.? The boat goes away. The water rises to the second story. Another boat comes up. The man says to the farmer, who is now at the second floor window, ?Hurry, jump in. I?ll save you.?
The farmer again says, ?Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.?
The boat goes away. Now the water is inching over the roof. As the farmer stands on the roof, a helicopter comes over, and drops a ladder. The pilot yells down to the farmer, ?I?ll save you. Climb the ladder.?
The farmer yells back, ?Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.?
The helicopter goes away. The water continues to rise and sweeps the farmer off the roof into the swiftly moving water. Unfortunately, he drowns.
The farmer goes to heaven. God sees him and says, ?What are you doing here??
The farmer says, ?I put my trust in you, and you let me down.?
God says, ?What do you mean, let you down? I sent you two boats and a helicopter!?
Prayer is great. Trust in God can be useful.
It's unreasonable and illogical for you to think you need a doctor for your physical health (instead of just prayer) and have seeing a professional for your mental health (instead of prayer) be unimportant.
I guess the problem is I don't really feel like I'm "depressed" I feel overwhelmed. I feel like the problem is early enough to fix it with prayer. I'm already taking 15 pills a day I would pass on anymore medication anyway. This is all a recent thing to me. I just keep on blaming my lack of hair and make up on being so busy. It has been one thing after another. First a new job, then the wedding, then my husband's dad was sick, then I ended up in the hospital and still am not 100% from that, right after the hospital we moved to a new town. I just feel like once I get settled in that I will feel less pressure and be able to get back to my old self again. I know that sounds like a lot of excuses, but my days have been extremely long lately and I feel like I'm at a breaking point.
I understand what you are saying, but I feel like God "sent me" himself. I think God knew that I needed something to get me through so he gave me signs that he was with me. I know this probably sounds stupid. I never believed in anything, and I am not religious, just spiritual. Honestly, so far it has worked just fine and is really helping me cope with my issues. I don't see the problem in doing something that has been proving to work.
SERIOUSLY?
I give up.
If it were WORKING, you wouldn't have made the posts. The level of denial and depression that comes off in these posts is not healthy, normal, or being fixed by prayer.
Like GBCK's post about the flood and God helping him. You need to use the tools that God has presented to you. He has given people the ability to be therapists to help others with feelings of being overwhelmed and/or depression. He gives you friends to help you with chores when you are so overwhelmed you don't know where to begin. There are signs all around you that God has given you. He IS answering your prayers...you just have to open your eyes and see that what you are asking for has been given to you. It's up to you to utilize those things. They don't just magically get done because your prayed.
Also, why aren't your husband or stepsons helping around the house? Why do you feel the need to be Supermom/wife? I understand the feeling, but I'm working on realizing that I can't do it all and shouldn't have to do it all. Neither should you. Make the other people in the household accountable for their own messes and rotate making meals. That will take a lot of pressure off of you so that you can sit back and figure out what you need to do for yourself. It will also teach your stepsons responsibility...it's a win/win.
The only person your impressing by your martyrdom is yourself...not your husband, stepsons or God.
How has this "proven to work" exactly??
DO SOMETHING! Make yourself a priority and get some help. Therapy doesn't always = more pills. Even once a week, or an hour a few times a month will make a huge difference. Stop making excuses. And yes, saying you found God is just another excuse.
If you think the posts I am making now are bad you should have heard my thoughts a month ago. Trust me you can't make a diagnosis off of a couple posts in a forum. I have had a rough couple of months. A lot of stuff has piled up. I feel even better today because I got a lot off of my chest yesterday, not only in here but with my husband. Today is a new day. You can't tell me you never have mood swings, or have never had a moment of pure humiliation that made you feel lower than dirt.
I had a really crappy mom, I mean probably the dirtiest of dirt. I don't want to be like her. I don't want to be that kind of wife. My husband does his fair share, usually laundry and outside stuff, the boys do have chores every morning they have to make their bed and feed their fish and are responsible for their room. Not only do I feel like I'm trying to not be my mom, but I'm trying to make up for what I think their mom should be. Not that she is a horrible mom but I don't feel like feeding boys hot dogs or chicken nuggets and fast food every night isn't really a good way to feed growing boys. Especially when you are staying home all day doing nothing.
I understand this. I have also heard that the first fight is the worst fight though. I've heard the first year is the hardest. I've heard a lot of things. It was just a sad situation to begin with.