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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: The Duggars
BFP #3 -mm/c @ 7wks, discovered at 9wks, D&C 9/28
Current Status: TTA
~~PGAL/PAL Always Welcome!~~
I agree with all of this. I don't personally want 20 kids but they have made it work for them. I also think that you can get nurturing from other places than your parents. My mom was a sack full of sh!!t but I turned out well and felt loved by other members of my family. I'm sure Mrs Duggar loves all her kids and by giving the older kids responsibility over younger ones they are creating an environment where those older ones are learning how to care for kids - not an easy task.
All in all I don't have hate/animosity for them. I watch them only if it's on when I scan but they don't take any of my hatred.
how do they discipline? I haven't watched the show that much and I realized when I read your post that I don't think I'd ever seen them discipline their kids.
As far as kid #20, I agree to each their own. I don't think they're kids are forced to raise their siblings like a family with no parents. They are a pretty solid (appearing) family unit. I think a big family is just a different type of family then most of us choose, but you can make it work in a different way. And they're not bothering anyone by living off the system or anything else so I don't get the hate.
my first thought. is whoa, she's nuts but then i take into consideration that my grandmother had her first in 1944 when she was 23. she had numbers 2-thru 16 from 1950-1966. she and my grandfather never lived on govt assistance, and were/are debt free.
she's happy and all her kids lived/are living happy lives. I think to each her own, as long as you can provide for them, and the children are loved i don't see a problem with it.
It's whatevs. They are nuts but seem sweet. If I saw them at a Target in Arkansas I would be all "OMG can I take a picture with you!?!"
Homegirl should teach NFP classes. She has it down to a science.
Yes, but their beliefs require them (I'm 99.9% certain on this) to actually have sex during her fertile time
j+k+m+e | running with needles
I have seen the show a few times and she is the most loving laid back person it seems and the older children help out alot.
I could not have that many children.I go insane sometimes with my 2 year old and teenage SS.
I am glad they do it debt free and do not rely on the govt. to help.
But...I bet she is gross down in her baby making area!!
I have a feeling it's probably in their contract not to show it, but they are strong, firm believers in corporal punishment. They follow the teachings/literature of Michael Pearl who wrote this book "To Train Up A Child." A quick google search will yield tons of different views on this.
Here's a quick excerpt on their vision of baby discipline from their website
"It is true that we occasionally hear that young mothers and more seldom, fathers, take what we teach out of context and misuse their children. First, love your child. Care that the child is well, happy, and relaxed. Training should not be tense, upsetting, hurtful, or pushed. It should be a simple exercise in showing the child what you want him to do. A tiny stimulus to direct the child when they are small is enough. For example, if a 3 month-old nursing baby bites, don?t spank. She does not know she did bad. Just gently pull a hair on her head. She will startle back in momentary discomfort and immediately start nursing again. The tiny bit of discomfort makes the baby relate the biting down with the gentle pulling of the hair. You have not made her obey, you have only conditioned her to respond differently. That is training. If you take a 13 week-old baby who is fussing, and squirming and pop her leg, it will only bring more fussing and crying. The child cannot relate those 2 events. She most likely has a tummy ache that needs some relief, not added pain. Ask God for wisdom. He promises to give to those who simply ask."
j+k+m+e | running with needles
my photography blog
pulling the hair on a three month old's head to teach them not to bite doesn't sound really terrible?
j+k+m+e | running with needles
a) i have never been bitten on the nipple by a 3 month old, so i don't feel educated to answer that question. i don't know how bad it is or how you make it stop if it's really awful.
b) in what frame of reference are you working that tugging on baby hair is "really terrible"? i mean, when juxtaposed with circumcision... ? or are we just comparing it to people who will squish an infant's tiny hair into a barette?
my photography blog
I've heard mothers on this board suggest flicking the kid on the nose. Or pressing them into the breast for a split second so they can't breath & will quit biting. I fail to see the difference between that & a slight hair tug.
I doubt they meant "cat-fight hair pulling". A simple little tug to get the babies attention doesn't sound like a big deal to me.
the description kat posted actually sounds somewhat sane (no pop on the leg for a fussy 13 month old, etc). I agree with missjake it sounds more like an attention getter then pulling a fistful of hair. most 3 month olds don't have that much anyway!
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I just want to know how she doesnt constantly pee on herself? Does she already wear depends?
good call because I still snizzle at times.
I just love how many times we've had this same conversation over the years about her many pregnancies! lol
And, Kimmer, from the looks of your tickers you aren't throat punching your DH every time he gives you the look!
(I kid. You know I am obsessed with you and your uterus.)
HA!!
I think it was around the time I went to the Kid Rock concert. I drank Boones Farm (on purpose) and clearly couldn't handle, or defend, myself.
Hmmmm..... are we sure DH was involved in this one? Word on the street is you were in love with someone else that night. What was his name? Roger?
We just broke up.
If they do follow the "to train up a child" method of discipline, the pastor who wrote that book is being looked in to for the deaths of at least 3 children whose parents follow his 'discipline' methods. While the part Kat posted doesn't seem bad, they also advocate using plumbing tubing to whip kids with. They also advocate force feeding and/or withholding food if a child is a picky eater. Anti child abuse advocates are lobbying Amazon to remove it from their inventory.
As far as the Duggars, my biggest problem is that they are on tv. If they can afford to raise that many kids, fine.
wow. I had no clue. I would never pull my baby's hair for any reason especially nursing or biting during nursing. I'm not sure I agree with their form of discipline.
ETA: I recently watched a show of theirs (bc of this post!) and the daughters were asked by a viewer how a guy could get a date with them. Their response was "If a guy wanted to date me they would have to talk to my dad first since my dad knows what we are looking for."
say huh?!! That's weird to me.
Ditto. I'm happy for them.