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GB-IN
It's something I never thought I'd say, but I'm not coming back here. More than Jetur's outrageous behavior, I'm disgusted about the utter lack of response from the rest of the IN's. It shames me that you can all read such an indiscriminate attack on one of your 'members' and just stand back and say nothing.
Yes, I can stand up for myself, and I did. But there is zero reason that you can all just say "I'm staying out of this" for something that is clearly wrong. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think that's right.
I know that you all appreciate a quiet and happy place here, with little to no drama but this kind of 'blind eye turning' to a real, hurtful attack is kind of humiliating to me. It's one thing to be able to stand up for yourself, but it's entirely another to know that others support you too.
For those of you who responded-- thank you. I appreciate it.
FWIW, I'd like to say it's because of the weekend, but I see you posting elsewhere, so I know that's not it. VABeach, I really do hope for the best for your sister, and I send you good wishes.
Re: GB-IN
I'm sorry you feel like people turned a blind eye to what was said. I just read what went down a few minutes ago and Jetur has lost her mind. Clearly.
I mean, the terrible things she said to you aside, can you imagine asking your DH to create a nest account and comment in your defense? I actually feel really embarrassed for her.
But why give her the satisfaction of leaving?
I say block her and continue to post. That's my plan.
Please don't leave. I just saw what she wrote b/c I stopped reading that post some time ago. I also missed the DW post and the post her H started until just now.
Please don't let one person with some serious issues prompt you to leave.
Bio
I hope you stay around or just take a short break from this board.
IRL I avoid drama. So I didnt post anything
I saw that JennyBee (the moderator) responded to your post so I had hoped that it would put an end to all of this.
I thought this place was free of drama but I guess even this board cant escape from it.
I told you via email and I'll tell you again here. I wish you wouldn't go but I understand how you feel you need to.
I consider you a friend, I enjoy reading your posts, and I really hope you stick around.
*hugs*
I'm going to respond for a bit because I felt like this would come up. But honestly? I've been through this a couple of times already, where someone says something nasty to me, and I fight back, and I consider (offline, generally) leaving. But I always stay because of the very reasons you guys just posted. Why let one persons insanity make me leave?
Because I'm done. This has happened more than once. More than once I've been left to dry by the IN group, and I'm just tired of it. There's this endemic feeling of 'non-involvement' here and it's... gross. The peace and serenity of all is more important than one person getting raked over the coals.
Now, I've started my fair share of shiit in the past few years. I accept that. When I provoke someone, I accept the consequences. But I did nothing here to warrant this kind of response, in fact, there was at least one other person who said "worse".
Even beyond this, this original tirade was posted in FFFC, and got what, 1, 2 responses?
Maybe I expected too much from you all to, as a person, say "This is wrong." I don't know. But I do know, if this happened to someone else, I would have been there saying that.
I just am making a choice to no longer be affiliated with a group of people, who have done a lot to support and center me over the years, but who- when it was most important- stayed out of it.
Anyone who wants to stay in touch can find me on Etiquette.
Wedding stuff.
Hi Snippy,
I am certainly guilty of turning away from confrontation and I'm sorry that hurt you. I have a really hard time making myself understood on a chat board and I've felt a bit distant from this board more than once because of it. I guess I just hoped everything would go away if I ignored it long enough. I don't read every post so I've definitely missed something, but I see there were some personal attacks made and obviously that's not right. I guess I just thought that she was acting so crazy that everyone would join me in ignoring it and it would just disappear.
I hope to see you again here but I definitely understand if I don't. Thanks for everything you've said to help me in the past and best wishes. If your life ever brings you to Edinburgh, please get in touch, I'd love to get a drink sometime!
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks
In everyone's defence it was tough to piece together WTF was going on. It was spread over several threads. If I hadn't stuck my big nose where it didn't belong, and directly asked questions off the board (which I can because of my IRL connections) I would've stayed out of it, too. Something was clearly going on between other people that did not concern me. I, personally, chose to get involved. I wouldn't knock any person who chose to stay the F out of it.
So I think you're being too harsh on those who didn't come stick up for you. And it being the weekend is a huge factor, too.
Nobody thinks you should go. Everybody knows who/where blame should lie with this one. But don't say this board is full of pansies who don't stick up for each other and love seeing someone thrown under the bus.
That's not us, and you know it.
This whole situation blows. Snippy, you know that we have had our issues in the past but the one thing I always liked about you is the fact that you don't take sh*t from anyone and you do accept responsibility when you are out of line. Jetur won't even come back here to attempt to defend herself, although, to be fair, it would be moot because she completely and utterly lost it.
I understand the reasons you are leaving, and hope that one day you will come back. I'm so sorry that this happened (and you haven't even been around much lately!)
Wow, I haven't been on much lately and this morning only read a post to me. Snippy I just read this post and then your excuse me post. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this drama. I don't really know what all happened, I'll have to catch up later, but it looks like Jet was way out of line. I hope you don't go because of her, just block her. Maybe (hopefully) she won't even come back.
This is why I hated the quote button. Posts go to f'ing long for me to read on my iphone. But good lord, Jetur, wtf?
Snippy I'm really sorry that I missed that post (last I looked it was all about celebrity boyfriends and boring) and after I posted this morning I wasn't around today.
Jet has lost her mind and in no way was that called for. I still really don't know why she singled you out when I was the one who told her she couldn't handle Iraq. I'm really, really sorry that you feel like you didn't get any support and I do wish you would stay.
Snips-- wish you'd reconsider.
I'll be honest, I saw your post (hadn't bothered reading the DW updates b/c, frankly, I was bored of the topic. Got it. People love 'em, people hate 'em). Anyway, your post below was the first I'd seen of the rant/attack. I didn't respond, because, frankly, tonight's been especially sh!tty and I just didn't have the motivation.
That said, excuses or not, here's my two cents... (pls keep in mind I still haven't read the full posts, nor will I... I've got call my mom)
I think Jet is under a great deal of stress, felt even more stress about/from her friend's DW, and so lashed out/was unnecessarily defensive about her wedding. Going beyond the wedding talk... into medical issues and martial issues was dirty pool, IMO. I appreciate frustration and stress, but it was cold/harsh/cruel. I think she's coming from a vulnerable place and probably didn't mean what she said. But she did say it and so I think she owes you an apology.
Like I said, that's my two cents. I guess I'm feeling particularly sh!tty this evening, but I'd say life's short. I think the Board really does try to be supportive and helpful to everyone. I'm sorry if we didn't give you the support we should have, but for many of us, I don't think it was "turning a blind eye" so much as trying to not fuel the fire...
Anyway, I'm sorry this is so long and I hope that you don't think that any of us thinks depression, unemployment, or marriage stress is funny or trivial. Frankly, all of those terrible things happen to all of us and it's nice to be able to take comfort in support from others. Long way of saying, I hope that you reconsider and stick around. Do I need to throw in the guilt of Lucy the Elder, 'cause I will! Plus, come on, you'd be desperately bored without the wacky Southern IT updates! Come, the Big B is retiring... a new day is dawning... lots to talk about.
Last but not least, sincere thanks for your kind words about my sister. I really hate people who pour drama, and thank God, my life has been relatively drama-free. This one's a do-zy though. I had some pretty hard news in mid-Oct and that was difficult; but my freakin' sister w/ cancer. I just can't process. She's 8.5yrs older than me and so has been almost like a second Mom in alot of ways (she's really responsible and always has been). We've literally never had a fight. Her youngest, my awesome niece, is submitting her Early Decision college application tomorrow to the school that I went to Early Decision. I mean it's just surreal that this could be/is happening. Sorry didn't mean to get AWish, I'm really not in a great place right now.
Anyway, I hope we'll see you here, but respect whatever decision you make. Wishing you and little Lucy all the best!
Snippy, I am very sorry this happened to you. It was completely uncalled for.
I am just catching up on what happened now, but honestly even if I had read it earlier I probably would have stayed out of it as I usually avoid the drama. I never thought about it from the angle you presented it and I will now take that into consideration in the future.
Even though I have been around for a few years now, I know I don't post often on the boards, partly because work takes up most of my time and partly because I am too scared of putting a lot of info out there because of crazies on the internet. But I do want you to know that I have always admired your honesty and the way you are confident enough in yourself to say what is on your mind/share your opinions.
I hope you stay around because I enjoy reading your posts and hearing your stories about Lucy, but if you do go I understand why you did it. Good luck to you.
Sorry you feel that way. I will speak for myself, but I do not participate in pile ons (re: members of this board). And as you stated you handled and were handling it yourself. If you were silent and/ or being submissive then perhaps then I would have defended you. But as long as I have been a member of this board you have NEVER been one of those two things. Basically I knew you would rip her a new one. Her anger was misdirected and you were her target.
I do think you should reconsider your GBCIN status but I understand being a little gun shy now considering the recent events. The things that were posted should have never happened.
Jetur, if you happen to be lurking, I think you are facing a stressful time in your life with personal commitments, a new role as a wife and a financial change in your household. I think you need to get a grip, take a break and then come back.
Remember when we had a post not too long ago about whether or not this board is cliquey? This post smacks of it.
I don't know any of you IRL. I haven't made any real friends on here and when drama ensues on the board (which doesn't happen often here which is one of the reasons I like to hang out here) I don't feel it is appropriate for me to stick my nose in the middle of it. I honestly don't read on when I see something hinting at drama here and I'm never going to speak up for any person when I don't know the whole circumstances and it doesn't involve me. For you to expect that is a bit unrealistic.
I've been attacked on another board and no one stuck up for me there. I chose to leave. You have a lot of support here and many people are asking you not to leave, but the choice is yours.
If you want to stay, stay. If you want to leave, leave.
I just caught up on the posts. Jetur throwing you under the bus was completely uncalled for! Bringing personal information onto the board is outrageous and should never happen. I wish you wouldn't go, although I know why you feel like you need to.
I'm so sorry I didn't see this before the sh!t hit the fan and you decided to leave, Snippy. I would have stood up for you if I'd have known.
Sending you lots of hugs.
Just got caught up on the post, I'm really sorry that happened to you Snippy. Jet was way out of line, you definitely did not deserve any of that.
I hope that if you take a break (and a break isn't necessarily a bad thing), that you decide to come back. We'd really miss your voice here!
2012 Reading Challenge
Also playing catch-up here. Holy uncalled for nonsense. Snips, please don't leave. While Jet was clearly nine kinds of out of line, it's obvious that she's in a dark place right now with all of her changes. None of it was necessary and it would be wonderful if, after taking a break, we could all build a bridge and get over it.
Someone said earlier that life's too short. It's true. You're a very enjoyable and witty woman and I hope you'll stick around.
Don't unfriend on FB
Please don't go. You assume too much. I just read today (Saturday) your post quoting Jetur. I still can't find the original post and I still don't understand what's going on. Hell, it took me a long time to figure out that DW=Destination Wedding. I am pretty sure everyone here is team Snippy even the ones that don't know anything about this drama.
Can someone sum up what happened exactly?
I'm also trying to stay out of things because I feel like I don't really know what's going on and Snippy defended herself far better than I ever could, but in brief:
There was a debate about what makes a wedding a DW. Jet didn't think hers was and got a little defensive about it, Snippy and others maintained it was one.
Jet's husband came onto the board on the Euro post to give info about Italy's stability and investing money / keeping money there. He then started a post about a hypothetical wedding with people spread out over the globe, asking if we would consider it a DW.
In the FFFC post, someone said that was passive-aggressive and lame. I don't remember who, but it might have been Snippy, because it seems like that's what set off Jet's totally inappropriate rant, in which she brought up (I have no personal knowledge of this, so don't know what's true, but I'm just relating what was said) Snippy's dislike of her time in Italy, her depression, and that she considered divorcing her husband over a petty issue. I repeat: I am only relating what Jet said so people who feel out of the loop know what's going on in a nutshell. There were a lot of other semi-heated discussions going on on that thread, as well, and I can speak for myself, at least, that Jet's rant came out of the blue for me and I was dealing with another issue so left it alone because I had no idea how to even respond.
Snippy started a new post (Excuse me) in which she responded to each of Jet's accusations.
Jet said she's leaving but just posted an update to her Costa Rica situation.
And that's where we are now.
Edit: I just realized I missed a post that preceded almost everything I just wrote and probably set off a lot of things. It's the post right before the Euro post addressed to Rita and dulcemaria. Maybe it's better if someone who has participated gives a summary since I probably didn't catch some things. Sorry if this came off as presumptuous (no one has said anything yet, but I realized it could).
I'm sorry things went down the way they did Snippy and I am sorry to see you go. I wish you wouldn't. Take care of yourself, I'll miss seeing you around here.
Just catching up. WTF? Jetur was completely out of line.
Snippy, I really like you and I hope you'll reconsider.
Cecilia arrived 12 October 2012
I'd just like to say that I only JUST figured out WTF was going on
I think she was completely out of line, and that was nasty of her to have a go at you like that
I think, like pineapples said in the post she just made, we want her gone - and we'd like you to stay
hopefully if everyone here just ignores her she will go away
It's your own fault that you don't feel a part of things here, honestly. It only feels cliquey if you make it that way. The only possible "cliques" I can think of are just the people that have met IRL. That's not a bad thing to me. I haven't met anyone and I don't feel left out at all.
It's not just that Snippy was attacked. Jetur brought up stuff that Snippy told us in private. It wasn't meant to be shared on the board. So Jetur broke the trust of a lot of people here.
I agree with bluegirl, it's rare that I will read a post with drama in it. I even realized after reading that you were leaving, Snippy, that I was someone who read the FFFC and then posted a new post about something I read in the FFFC (the "@ thing) that was posted well after the post Jet wrote to/about you. I didn't read her comment until I saw your response and went back to try to figure out where that was written. (I didn't read a lot of the FFFC's initially especially the longer ones, but read the one with @" in it because it was from a fellow German nestie.)
Anyway, I understand why you are leaving. Trust is a difficult thing to have to deal with when it's been violated. On top of that, you were attacked. I would love if you stay, I have always appreciated your candor, even when I don't necessarily agree with you.