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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
office holiday parties
do you have one? does DH? are you invited to his? is he invited to yours?
my employer used to have one, but no longer does. everyone had one personal invitation and unlimited professional invitations.
my DH's employer throws a gigantic, totally over the top, outrageously extravagant holiday party every year.
SOs are not invited. seriously. all you can eat/drink, free taxi home (or to wherever your drunken self wants to go), and no spouse.
he just told me that he can bring me this year (woop-di-doo), but that we'd have to pay $60.
i'm not sure which is the bigger insult (on his employer's part).
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Re: office holiday parties
We have an office potluck. I think some people brought their kids last time, but no SOs as far as I can remember (they usually come to the employee picnic in the summer).
I work for a federal agency, though. When I worked at a non-profit, SOs could come, and it was at a hotel with food and I think cash bar (maybe we got drink tickets?). I can't remember if we had to pay.
Your DH's party sounds crazy (taxi ride home? I've never heard of that!).
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I'm a fed, so our parties are generally kind of lame. No SOs invited. The only plus is that they're during work hours.
P re-recesssion, DH's company had a ridiculous holiday party. They actually did it in January and called it a "Winter Ball". Open bar, buffet, casino games with prizes. It was crazy. SOs were invited it, but they dropped it two years ago.
the taxi part is only if you are too intoxicated to drive yourself. and that's your only option since you aren't allowed to bring a guest.
At the non-profit I worked at last year, we had a party for all our volunteer tutors/friends of the organization. People could bring SOs, but most people didn't. We had fancy hor d'oevres (sp?) and beer/wine. Most of the volunteers were old and only had 1 glass of wine.
At my new job, we won't have anything.
I don't know about DH's job. This will be his first holiday season there. I'm guessing they'll just have something during work hours for the employees. That's what they're doing for TG.
at DH's employer it has varied year to year but they usually have them during office hours, no guests. a few of the years in NYC they had an evening party and everyone could bring one guest. people with kids, could also bring the kiddos.
my last employer in NYC did a big, catered lunch in the office. again, no guests.
my opinion is that if you do something after work (ESPECIALLY if it is a friday or saturday evening) then employees should be permitted to bring their SO or a friend. very uncool to do otherwise.
i'd be insulted by the "you can come for $60" nonsense. why not have a less extravagant party and include a guest?!
At my last job, we had very elaborate holiday parties (Saturday night, black tie, held at a hotel downtown or a museum, live band and dancing). We were allowed to bring one guest.
We used to have a small get to together at someone's house, but the person who hosted it no longer works here.... soooo I doubt it'll happen ever again (no skin off my back, if you ask me)
DH's job has one, but not everyone is picked to go. You have to do something outstanding in order to be invited. We went last year and it was awesome. I'm going to cry if we don't get invited this year. Double fisting champagne in the white house = best thing on earth.
We make the rockin' world go 'round.
yes, this exactly. and after he shared with me their quarterly and annual profits for the past years he's worked there, it's even more insulting. i think it's actually more insulting to be offered an invitation at a fee. i'd rather just not be invited!
and yes, this party is after work on a thursday, beginning at dinner time and it's not over until 11 or 12am.
this would piss me off most of all
We used to have the big parties in either hotels or museums on a Saturday night in December. Our last one was in 2008. One guest was invited, and it was dinner (buffet, carving stations), drinks, dessert buffet, dancing, and live music. I miss it. It was my only chance to wear a nice dress all year!
Post-recession, my department might have a potluck, but otherwise nothing.
Hubby, as a Fed, has nothing other than Secret Santa.
Spouses/guests should absolutely be invited to nice weekend holiday parties!
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DH's company has an off-site holiday party, after hours on like a Wednesday night. It is only for employees. It's all you can eat and everyone gets two drink tickets.
My company does a pot-luck sort of thing, super casual, during the workday. It is only for employees.
A company DH worked for a few years ago held holiday parties off-site, on a Saturday night, and SOs, family, and friends were welcome. It was all you can eat and drink. Dancing, music. That was nice.
Totally agree with this.
Lindsay - my DH works for the same company as yours. I've whined every year that the company would spend that much money and not invite SOs. Actually one year his 20-people-or-so department had a nice party at a winery, and we were invited. That was just perfect.
But craptastic offer or not, DH and I agreed it would be cool for me to go this year, and we're ponying up the bucks. We're pretending it's our nice "dining out" date for the month.
I've always worked in the public arena and so our holiday events have always been very low key. At my last job it was always a potluck and at my current job there are just a few of us so we usually just go out to lunch as a group.
DH's office used to have a catered luncheon and spouses were invited. That has changed in the last couple of years and the holiday party is now employees only. This year they are doing something at night and I doubt DH will participate since I can't come. He's of the mind that he's already underpaid, he'd rather just have the cash than the cost of a nice dinner or ticket to a show.
DH is a fed so no party.
My company use to have a big, huge shindig with multiple bands and mass amount of food and alcohol (it even made the Post because Dave Chapelle crashed it) but after employees decided they would rather have that money in profit sharing, it went away. I am totally okay with it because I am not a huge fan of the company prom. We now have a department lunch with no SOs.
Did I ever tell you about the time when a VP at a former company was so wasted at the holiday party that she proceeded to hit on my date as her boobs fell out of her plunging next line dress? Awkward holiday moment with an even more awkward voicemail the next day.
i definitely agree that it would be cool to go! i feel like i'm being spiteful, but seriously, i do find it insulting! and i kind of feel like if SOs don't go, they'll just say, see--- no market for inviting SOs. but if SOs do go, they may think that charging SOs is okay!
moot for us, since i actually can't go that day anyway.
enjoy the shrimp. i hear they are served by the boatload. our friends look forward to this party every year so they can humor DH with all his talk of the shrimp!
the winery party sounds really nice!
I work for the govt. So our holiday parties are pretty pathetic and we have to pay for them. There is no alcohol and they are during the work day. So no spouses aren't invited.
All of the private sector places I worked for had great holiday parties with booze and spouses were definitely invited! That's lame that you're not invited. I never heard of such a thing.
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Our company is in two different locations. The "bulk" of our employees work in the Roanoke area, so the company does a nice holiday lunch and lets spouses and children attend. Last year, they did a bunch of activities for the kids, and Santa was there (with small gifts for the kids). Since our office is satellite and so much smaller (less than 15), our President takes us all to a nice lunch and gives us each a small gift. Later that afternoon we do a cookie competition/exchange.
DH is with a new company this year, which is much smaller than his previous company. No word about a holiday party thus far.
Stand up for something you believe in.
OMG, this is outrageous! similar situation at DH's party a few years ago...only female staff hit on male supervisor, in front of female staff's boyfriend, who was also an employee (different office). awkward monday!
ETA: DH wants me to update him when someone sides with his employer on this issue! told him not to hold his breath.
This.
DH's small company has a party at a restaurant - it's free dinner, drinks, and live music (although that's a bit of a stretch - more like a guy with a guitar). Employees and spouses are invited. We usually get our own taxi home because open bar is a dangerous thing for us!
My company just has a holiday potluck during office hours.
My H's company has an all-out formal ball with a band, seated dinner, and open bar. This year it's at the Baltimore Museum of Industry, so that should be fun. Everyone gets extravagant favors and they give away prizes. Oh, and they also give each employee $100 towards a hotel room, a limo, or childcare. It's crazy.
For the last few years, my group has been doing a dinner out paid for by the boss. No SOs invited, which is reasonable since my boss is paying a several hundred dollar dinner tab out of pocket. Back when the company was paying, a few years we did a catered buffet-style party at a co-worker's house and SOs were invited to that.
DH's company used to have big blowouts where they'd rent out a huge space, have a seated dinner for all employees and SOs, have a band, raffles for things like tvs, etc. But they're not turning a profit as quickly as they had hoped, so they've scaled way back. I don't remember them inviting SOs the past few years, and they are definitely not doing the big bash of five years ago.
I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask spouses to pay to attend a big blowout party if they really want to attend. But I don't really care much about the whole Christmas party thing anyway, so I guess it wouldn't offend me one way or the other. Just because an employer is turning a huge profit doesn't necessarily mean they should be plowing a certain amount of proceeds into a party.
Whenever I complained, O would always say something about how the company can write it all off as a business expense or tax deduction if it's just employees, but not if there are non-employees. Regardless, it's ridiculously extravagant.
I've never bothered going to my works holiday party. Its usually hosted at someones house and potluck style
DHs work always has a big deal and I'm always invited and we pay nothing. I spent $200 on clothes for this party. I have two options to wear
DH and I work for the same company; they used to have parties on a Fri or Sat night at a hotel, we got 2 drink tickets each (or maybe 1, I always gave mine to him), buffet, prizes, music etc etc. It was $20 pp, regardless if you are an employee or a spouse/guest. One year I won a $250 Target gift card so yea, it was worth the entry fee!!
One (really good) year they had the party at the Udvar Hazy, OMG it was beyond fabulous!! I felt like it was a scene out of James Bond, all those well-dressed people, with all that hardware.
Times, they are a-changing. Now, the party is a lunch during the work week (at a country club) and you have to take PTO (or make up hours) to attend; it's free and they do have prizes. I am going and trying to talk DH into going to (to double our chances of winnnig something), the food is good!
My Dad's company still has the Sat-night-at-a-hotel fancy party and it's free for employee and guest.
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I am a fed - last year we went out to lunch and our Director paid for everyone's meal. I'm sure it will be something similar again this year.
DH works for a DOE research lab that is HQed in Chicago so his office here is really small. I think they just did something during the day like bring some food in, but I am not sure.
In Columbus, DH worked for a private company and they rented a room at a restaurant and there would be food, drinks (all you could drink). Spouses were invited for free and it was fun. I worked at OSU in a high profile admin office so DH and I were always invited to the President of the University's office for a holiday dinner and drinks.
my husband's company is renting out a museum downtown & it'll probably be a buffet with stations, open bar & have a DJ (but no one ever seems to dance). It's usually really nice. People with spouses or SO (boyfriend/girlfriend/FI) can bring those along (but no random friends).
My holiday parties have always been during the day & were often potlucks. Spouses weren't invited, but they weren't really excluded.
eta: those drunk also can get a free taxi ride home. i think this is mostly a CYA move b/c of the open bar.