Trouble in Paradise
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I'm calling shenanigans on this BS

I do not like Home owners associations. I think they are something that could have been a good idea, but was put in the hands of morons. I have never dealt with one that was not terribly run. They may exist, I have yet to see one. Seriously, we have a HOA that will write you threatening letters if someone complains about your cat being in the window or seeing your dog in the glass door of your home. It's ridiculous, but this makes me want to throat punch every last one of them.

We got a letter today that basically told us we should have asked their permission before we had our daughter. I'm not even kidding, it stated that we were to ask permission before bringing any new people or pets into the home. So I'm thinking was a ridiculous pile of crap and call the number, because I want an explanation. I ask if someone has complained that she cries to loud (Though she's pretty quiet) and was told no, that the VP of the HOA was in the are and saw me with DD and they realized we hadn't written to them to ask about the policies about babies.

I asked if this was some kind of joke and told them that was ridiculous and the guy actually had the nerve to tell me it was common practice. Ok, first of all I call shenanigans on this whole d@mn thing! That is not common practice, that is insanity! Ok, I get that our HOA is run by a bunch of inbred jackasses (To call them hillbillies or rednecks would be insulting to all hillbillies and rednecks everywhere) but seriously, this is just to much. I told the guy that was not true and he told me that it was our fault for not following the policies. So while he's telling me all this I find the HOA contract, and oh look surprise surprise, it says NOTHING about that insanity. So I tell him that, he stutters for a moment and finally I just told him that any further attempt to harass us on the subject would  be handled by our lawyers. He hung up on me after that.

I just couldn't believe that crap though and just thought I'd share that insanity with you all.

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Re: I'm calling shenanigans on this BS

  • imageCaptaintightpants:

    I think they are something that could have been a good idea, but was put in the hands of morons.

    It's true. Democracy has its limits.

  • uhm...... i would download a recording of a crying baby and blast it in your house everytime you guys leave.  

     

    i cannot believe you have to deal with this idiocy.  i just can't even believe people do this insane crap.  how did you not totally lose it on this clown? 

  • imagekristinhart511:
    uhm...... i would download a recording of a crying baby and blast it in your house everytime you guys leave.  

     

    i cannot believe you have to deal with this idiocy.  i just can't even believe people do this insane crap.  how did you not totally lose it on this clown?

    It was to crazy for me to lose it on him, I was to busy wondering if I was being punked or pranked or whatever new stupid prank show is out now. I'm debating on if I should show DH when he gets home and tell him who I spoke too, because he will got Ape Sh!t.

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  • Where's my shank? I would be nonsensical. It would be one thing if they expected notification but I'm sorry, the only person I discuss the contents of my uterus with is my husband.

     



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  • imagehindsight's_a_biotch:

    Where's my shank? I would be nonsensical. It would be one thing if they expected notification but I'm sorry, the only person I discuss the contents of my uterus with is my husband.

     

    uh hi yeah  exactly!  my reproductive events are none of anyones business let alone a fvcking homeowners association.  

     

    and OP- yes definitely show your husb. the letter. 

  • CaptainTightpants, are you perhaps a Firefly fan?
  • imageJustDuckyDancer:
    CaptainTightpants, are you perhaps a Firefly fan?

    Maybe...

    Thanks everyone, glad to know I'm not the only one who found this to be beyond crazy. I will be telling DH about this, I'd like to hear what choice words he has for this guy. I think we just need to move out of this backwards little town, there's to much stupid here. 

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  • imageCaptaintightpants:

    imageJustDuckyDancer:
    CaptainTightpants, are you perhaps a Firefly fan?

    Maybe...

    Thanks everyone, glad to know I'm not the only one who found this to be beyond crazy. I will be telling DH about this, I'd like to hear what choice words he has for this guy. I think we just need to move out of this backwards little town, there's to much stupid here. 

    Then maybe I might like you. lol

  • I hate crap like that. I would make it my mission to fvck with them. I would get cat statues in every window in my house.
  • Can I get a ticket to come listen to your husband tell off that idiot?  Selling tickets could bring in some nice holiday cash.
  • imageMotzie:
    I hate crap like that. I would make it my mission to fvck with them. I would get cat statues in every window in my house.

    I shouldn't be as surprised as I am, I really shouldn't be. These are the same people who sent us a letter every day last Christmas season for having...wait for it....colored Christmas lights outside. Le gasp! How dare we not be all down for the all white light displays? As I wrote back on one of the letters "While we do not appreciate nor care for your concern, we are not light racists, and will not be removing our holiday display. Have a joyous season and if you send me one more letter, I'm going to jam it up your holly jolly butt. Merry Christmas!"

    They didn't think it was as funny as DH or I did. Or my neighbor did for that matter. 

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  • I'm pretty sure I'd freak the F out.  

     

    Our HOA exists, but I don't think they do anything.  Our neighbors called and had our car towed because the trunk stuck out of our driveway about two feet and it was offensive to their eyes.  Watch out for the crazies! 

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  • imageCaptaintightpants:

    imageMotzie:
    I hate crap like that. I would make it my mission to fvck with them. I would get cat statues in every window in my house.

    I shouldn't be as surprised as I am, I really shouldn't be. These are the same people who sent us a letter every day last Christmas season for having...wait for it....colored Christmas lights outside. Le gasp! How dare we not be all down for the all white light displays? As I wrote back on one of the letters "While we do not appreciate nor care for your concern, we are not light racists, and will not be removing our holiday display. Have a joyous season and if you send me one more letter, I'm going to jam it up your holly jolly butt. Merry Christmas!"

    They didn't think it was as funny as DH or I did. Or my neighbor did for that matter. 


    When I read HS's post I had the same thought. Where is my shank for these arsehats?

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    Captaintighpants: I also dislike HOA's. Wait, hold the phone-- you got a letter saying that you had to ASK PERMISSION before making a major life decision that should be no one's business but you & your H's? What the ever-loving fvck?  That is complete and utter bullshyt. What are they playing at?!

    I would definitely consult a lawyer if they keep on with that fvckery. JFC. 

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  • How ridiculous. HOAs are ridiculous. I remember my ex-FI panicking because his grass was brown a few years ago (during a state wide DROUGHT) and kept watering his lawn, despite restrictions, so he wouldn't get fined by the HOA. Stupid.
  • I would start sending a letter to that guy every 28 days.

    "Hey HOAsshole! Just wanted to let you know I got my period yesterday. Will continue to keep you informed of the contents (or lack thereof) of my uterus on a monthly basis. Happy November!"

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  • imageBeebeeEater:

    I would start sending a letter to that guy every 28 days.

    "Hey HOAsshole! Just wanted to let you know I got my period yesterday. Will continue to keep you informed of the contents (or lack thereof) of my uterus on a monthly basis. Happy November!"

    I've done this to a landlord before.  They accused me of jamming the toilet by flushing a tampon.  I had just moved into the place and offered medical records to prove there was no way I was the one bleeding out my vag and I didn't clog the toilet.

     

    They liked me a lot after that.

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  • imageBeebeeEater:

    I would start sending a letter to that guy every 28 days.

    "Hey HOAsshole! Just wanted to let you know I got my period yesterday. Will continue to keep you informed of the contents (or lack thereof) of my uterus on a monthly basis. Happy November!"

    hahahah, CTP-- DOooooooo eeeeeeet! Stick out tongue

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  • LOL I've never commented on these before, but I just have to say,

    "CALL THE NEWS WITH THAT!!!" LOLOL  That sounds just like something they would report on the 10oclock news!

    Would love to see them trying to interview that guy about this "policy"....

     

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  • Ye gads.  I've heard of that kind of stuff with 55+ communities, but a regular SF neighborhood?  Yo.

    My condo has an HOA that seems to be effective with the unimportant stuff (fining someone for having non-white curtains visible to the parking lot) and ineffective with the important stuff (there's an Oldsmobile on blocks parked next to my car right now).  I don't get it.

     

    This is my siggy.
  • imagekellbell1919:
    imageBeebeeEater:

    I would start sending a letter to that guy every 28 days.

    "Hey HOAsshole! Just wanted to let you know I got my period yesterday. Will continue to keep you informed of the contents (or lack thereof) of my uterus on a monthly basis. Happy November!"

    I've done this to a landlord before.  They accused me of jamming the toilet by flushing a tampon.  I had just moved into the place and offered medical records to prove there was no way I was the one bleeding out my vag and I didn't clog the toilet.

     

    They liked me a lot after that.

    CryingBig SmileYesCryingBig SmileYesCryingBig SmileYes

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  • I have no words. This is the most ridiculous thing I've heard all day...It's...yikes.
  • He is probably calling an emergency meeting to get it in the by-laws. Tongue Tied
  • I'm not familiar with HOAs, but this is crazy. I think you should send a postcard after every time you have sex, and insist that they do the same. I mean, it could potentially lead to a pregnancy right?
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  • I'm pretty sure it is illegal to discriminate against familial status.  They need to get served.
  • Ugh. We had a HOA like that (though never that bad. Holy Cow!) DH and I both got on the board and put an end to that stuff ASAP.
  • That is just f-ing insane. The newspaper I worked for a couple years ago actually did a story on HOAs and it won an award. It didn't even come close to this kind of fvckery though.

    I'd call tomorrow nonchalantly like "Oh I just wanted to let you know that I saw a squirrel outside our house today and I don't think I had seen him before because his tail was a little bushier than the other squirrels I've seen in our yard and on my way out of the house, I dropped a little piece of Pop Tart and he ran over to eat it. So I was just wondering if you guys considered that a new pet or not, so I could give you proper notice?"

    And then the next day "Hi, my mom is coming for Christmas and spending three days with us. Does three days qualify as adding a new resident to the house or do we just need some kind of guest pass? Oh okay. Well actually, she's staying for four days, three nights. Hold on let me figure out how many hours........... carry the 1..... minus two.... okay, it's 88 hours. Is that okay?"

    And then "Hi, I was on my way home today and I rolled down my window a little and a fly flew in and I tried to get him out but he wouldn't get out and then it was too cold to leave the window down while I drove so I just had to roll it back up and I tried to get him out when I got home but he's still there. So I guess we have a new pet! I think I'm going to call him Malcolm Reynolds."

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  • Being very sarcastic maybe you and your hubby should ask permission to have sex in the future aholes. Don't forget to ask if you should breast feed your daughter, by the way congrats.
  • imageCaptaintightpants:

    I do not like Home owners associations. I think they are something that could have been a good idea, but was put in the hands of morons. I have never dealt with one that was not terribly run. They may exist, I have yet to see one. Seriously, we have a HOA that will write you threatening letters if someone complains about your cat being in the window or seeing your dog in the glass door of your home. It's ridiculous, but this makes me want to throat punch every last one of them.

    We got a letter today that basically told us we should have asked their permission before we had our daughter. I'm not even kidding, it stated that we were to ask permission before bringing any new people or pets into the home. So I'm thinking was a ridiculous pile of crap and call the number, because I want an explanation. I ask if someone has complained that she cries to loud (Though she's pretty quiet) and was told no, that the VP of the HOA was in the are and saw me with DD and they realized we hadn't written to them to ask about the policies about babies.

    I asked if this was some kind of joke and told them that was ridiculous and the guy actually had the nerve to tell me it was common practice. Ok, first of all I call shenanigans on this whole d@mn thing! That is not common practice, that is insanity! Ok, I get that our HOA is run by a bunch of inbred jackasses (To call them hillbillies or rednecks would be insulting to all hillbillies and rednecks everywhere) but seriously, this is just to much. I told the guy that was not true and he told me that it was our fault for not following the policies. So while he's telling me all this I find the HOA contract, and oh look surprise surprise, it says NOTHING about that insanity. So I tell him that, he stutters for a moment and finally I just told him that any further attempt to harass us on the subject would  be handled by our lawyers. He hung up on me after that.

    I just couldn't believe that crap though and just thought I'd share that insanity with you all.

    Me TOO.  I might learn to spell before taking them on though.

  • It may differ from state to state, but it is illegal to discriminate against a family for having a baby.  I second the idea of going to the media about this.  If they try to take action to get you evicted, get a lawyer.
  • image8daysaweek:

    That is just f-ing insane. The newspaper I worked for a couple years ago actually did a story on HOAs and it won an award. It didn't even come close to this kind of fvckery though.

    I'd call tomorrow nonchalantly like "Oh I just wanted to let you know that I saw a squirrel outside our house today and I don't think I had seen him before because his tail was a little bushier than the other squirrels I've seen in our yard and on my way out of the house, I dropped a little piece of Pop Tart and he ran over to eat it. So I was just wondering if you guys considered that a new pet or not, so I could give you proper notice?"

    And then the next day "Hi, my mom is coming for Christmas and spending three days with us. Does three days qualify as adding a new resident to the house or do we just need some kind of guest pass? Oh okay. Well actually, she's staying for four days, three nights. Hold on let me figure out how many hours........... carry the 1..... minus two.... okay, it's 88 hours. Is that okay?"

    And then "Hi, I was on my way home today and I rolled down my window a little and a fly flew in and I tried to get him out but he wouldn't get out and then it was too cold to leave the window down while I drove so I just had to roll it back up and I tried to get him out when I got home but he's still there. So I guess we have a new pet! I think I'm going to call him Malcolm Reynolds."

    I love the stream-of-consciousness babbling here.  Do it!!

    And, this is why I don't ever want to buy in a place with an HOA.  If I buy a home, I want to be left alone to put cat statues in every window and to hang green or yellow or red curtains visible to passers-by.  Although I'd miss out on many opportunities to tell people to go fvck themselves. 

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