September 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Throwdown Thursday
My 2 cents on the mom/ non-mom thing: I will only say something when someone is being absolutely crazy. People do things all the time that I disagree with, but when you're actually hurting your child, I will say something.
For example- my 9 month old nephew is barely sitting up, can't hold the weight of his head completely upright and doesn't do tummy time or make any sort of motions toward movement. This is because his mom wears him all.the.time. and never puts him down. He hates strangers for the same reason- she won't let anyone else around him. If he shrieks and screams at the mere presence of a stranger when we're there at Christmas, I'm going to tell her she needs to put him down and chill for 30 seconds. It is flipping ridiculous. When you're causing your child to miss developmental milestones and have anxiety around strangers, you're doing it wrong, and I don't have to be a mom to say so.
Stand up for something you believe in.
I consider myself a mom, I just have yet to have an opportunity to parent my children. I'm not sure where that leaves me in terms of being qualified to give advice. I agree that being qualified to give advice may not be as much of a black and white issue as some are making it out to be.
Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
95% of my close friends are moms. Having listened to a lot of what they have said and seen what they have done, I have advice to give that I think is sound.
MB I feel like you think when people give advice as a non-mother, they are being judgey *shrugs* maybe not the case, but I think you are being judgey toward non-mothers in that they can have good advice at times. I don't think you should make a blanket statement and count everyone out just because they have not grown a child in their uterus.
I give Ames advice all the time. My SIL has said to me, "I think its kind of freaky that you are the person I go to for parenting advice when you loathe and detest children."
Maybe the difference is when people feel the "advice" is actually an opinion and not really of any worth.
it's true. sometimes it's solicited, sometimes it's not and I want to tell her to shove it, but I value her opinion nonetheless.
I don't necessarily think that one has to have given birth to be able to give parenting advice. Other life experiences can give one insight into areas that they may not necessarily fall into the category of.
I don't mind advice from parents or non-parents alike. All I ask is that people keep their judgment to themselves because I'm trying my best to be the best mom that I can be.
Unsolicited advice is usually annoying no matter the topic. Parenthood is just an extra touchy topic, and no one wants to feel like a bad mother, so advice that you don't agree with feels judgy or like you're being told you're wrong.
I don't, however, think that you have to have birthed a child to provide solid parenting advice. I provide it all of the time, and I feel qualified (and if I don't, then I don't provide advice). I don't think you magically learn how to be a mother when you squeeze a baby out, and I don't think all of my opinions about parenting will fly out the window when I have a kid.
TBH, I don't care if it was referenced to my post because I'm sick of hearing about it too. That's why I gave an option B.
I figured everyone was so sick of hearing about it that no one would post. So I went to Yahoo to find something controversial.
I don't have any throwdowns today. I'm just happy to be home and getting ready to eat dinner.
updated 10.03.12
I thought the rules of YOUR game was to throwdown and defend yourself. Huh.
They were. And that's all fine and dandy. But if I don't have the effort or energy, and it's late at night when all the little Niners are tucked away in their beds, why bother? Today's another day.
Also? I thought we were better than this... but clearly you get much more pleasure in calling me out on the board rather than talking to me off. So thanks for that, friend.
updated 10.03.12
I thought you wanted people to post on the board more? All the off-board chatting is what killed that.
Well, I did have a conversation off board with you about it and that didn't make it on here. So I wasn't sure which conversation was your true feelings.