Trouble in Paradise
smock.smock
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Problem solver!
I'd like to offer my help solving any annoying problems you might have. Is the neighbor peeing on your fence? Is your cat's loud walking bothering you? I have the solution, customized for YOUR problem!
If you have a pesky problem you can't solve, post here and I will magically solve it for you.
Re: Problem solver!
Your car is willfully disobeying you. I'd buy a quart of the finest motor oil you can afford, and pour it out directly in front of your car. This should shame it into treating you with more respect.
KITTEN MITTENS!
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
Patent pending.
It's probably a phantom pain. The best policy is to ignore it, and undertake some vigorous activities like cartwheels and lifting heavy objects. If I'm right, the pain will certainly vanish under this course of treatment.
I didn't even THINK of this! You are a genius.
I'm smarter than your average bag of d!cks, that's for sure.
Here's what you do. You'll need to buy a full-sized mannequin and a wig approximating your hairdo. Place the mannequin (wearing the wig) in front of your closet (or dresser, or wherever you keep the majority of your clothes) but make sure it is NUDE.
Hang a sign around the mannequin's neck. The sign should read "I am Muddled and I hate my clothes. They are insufficient for my dressing needs."
Within 3 days I guarantee your clothes will shape up.
Drink three glasses of orange juice, no larger than 6 ounces per glass, no less than 4 ounces per class. Then walk backward into your bedroom and take a nap, for no more than 2 hours, no less than 1 hour.
You'll feel better about school, guaranteed.
LMAO
Thanks! Running out to the store now!
er... anyone know where I can get a mannequin?
My former BFF is telling everyone in our dumb little town that I'm crazy. She's mad because her husband kept hitting on me and I told her about it.
My solution: wear the crazy banner proud but I'm open to suggestions.
This is not a problem. I think you're in the wrong thread.
Instead, you should be back in the sexting thread posting inappropriate photos.
Time to take out an ad in the local paper. If you don't have a local paper, a banner ad on an airplane (aka "sky ad") will also suffice.
The ad should be at least size 24 font (newspaper) or 4 foot high letters ("sky ad").
It should read "Who's the crazy b*tch NOW, b*tch!"
She'll know it's for her.
Would red spray paint on the garage door communicate "I'm the sane one!!!!" more effectively?
I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one. Copious amounts of alcohol should be consumed until you feel no pain or you pass out.
Psshht... And you call yourself a problem solver!
Do you not have fingers?
Seriously, it's like you're not even trying.
I resent this. I have literally given solutions to at least half a DOZEN people today alone. Clearly I am a problem solver.
I broke a nail and have no nail file to fix it!
This is acceptable, but only if you don't have "sky ads" in your small town.
You'll need some masking tape, an old tube sock, and a paper clip.
First, dip the tube sock in chloroform. Use the paper clip to crack the lock and break into the house of a nearby person--if you're in a metro area, paper clips can also be used to break into apartments. Once inside, knock anyone you meet out using the tube sock. They will be out for at least two hours, giving you time to steal all their money, go to a drug store, and buy a nail file.
Use the masking tape to tape a sign to your wall. The sign should say "Thank God for the Problem Solver!"
H needs his meds tweaked but his psychiatrist appointment isn't until Tuesday. He's pissing me off something fierce. Alcohol is not an option... I'm the only sane one in the house right now so I must remain sober to take care of the muchkin.
My solution is to throw him down the stairs just right so that he isn't seriously injured, but merely rendered unconscious until Tuesday. I don't know if I have the skill to do that just right.
Halp!
http://pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi#general
A sock with chloroform, applied at the correct intervals, could also solve your problem.
Nice, you went all MacGuyver with this one! Brava!
Perfect! I just did laundry last night so I have lots of clean socks. Hmm... now do I use the ones with monkeys on them or just regular white socks? Quandry...
http://pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi#general