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Visitors while planning an international move?
Help me decide if I am being unreasonable. We're moving to Paris in early January. My ILs just decided they'd like to visit us for New Year's here in NY, before we go. I know they are anxious about not seeing us much next year, etc., and I'd love for them to get extra time with DD before we go, so I said they could come. However, I really, really hate the idea of anyone staying with us while we're packing things up. We live in a New York apartment, so things are cramped already without adding two more people sleeping and living here the week before we leave.
However, NY hotels are already outrageously expensive and are even more so during the holidays. They might feel unwelcome if we suggest a hotel, but on the other hand, I might go out of my mind if I have more people in my home while I am packing all of our belongings into various suitcases. (We're not getting movers since we're just going abroad for a year.) WWYD?
Re: Visitors while planning an international move?
I remember feeling a bit stressed getting my few suitcases packed while saying goodbye to people at Christmas time when I moved 4 years ago and I was moving alone. No way would I add 2 people to my NYC apt.
I agree with Faye decide between yourself and your H what is best for your family and then talk to the IL. Will they visit?
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I agree with this. I would think they could be helpful to have around. They could take your daughter out to the park, etc. So you could get more done.
This. I would basically explain to them that you are going to be very busy and that things will be hectic. Say that you would love to see them but would hate for them to feel ignored/neglected etc while you pack. This should prompt a "Oh, we can help!" kind of response.
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No matter what, you and your DH should be on the same page. If you want them to come, great. If you don't want them to come, that's ok as well. But if you expect them to help then I would say to ask them now to do that. Make plans that they can do, you can make arrangements for specific things, and you have a good idea of what your "helped out time" will be vs your "hosting time".
Depends... if everyone was on the visit/help page with realistic expectations of the trip (e.g. jeans and dust v. tea at the Plaza and evenings at the Met), ok.
However, if they (or you for that matter as a host) are going to be uncomfortable with paper plates and take-out, tight schedules, and, probably (if anyone involved is like me) shortened fuses, then I'd rethink it.
Overall though, I'd imagine that if they're offering, they're offering from a kind-loving place and not going to expect 'visitor' treatment. That said, there still is another important piece and that's how you and your husband feel about having, even low-maintenance guests during such a busy, emotional time. I personally, would prefer the week before I left (rather than having them at the last minute) and I would short the visit down to 4days rather than a full week.
If it were my ILs or my parents, I would let them come. We all get along really well and I know they would help out with M.I'd also take advantage and have them watch the kid while you and your H have a night on the town with friends before moving.
I'm with the other pps, you need to discuss with your H and make sure you will both be comfortable having them there while you're packing up.
How did the trip to Paris go? Did you find a place?
Hmm that's a tough one. For me, I think I would let them come anyway and just deal with being cramped and stressed. You are getting ready to make a HUGE move and it will be harder for them to come see you and your family. I can understand that they want to hang out with you all before you leave, and I bet they would not mind helping out.
I say definitely discuss it with your H and have him mention how much packing etc you all will have to do to them - so they have realistic expectations of the visit. It's not like you can all go sightseeing. I am sure they will be happy having some time with their grandkid while you and DH get things done around the apartment.
Good luck with the move!
P.S. If you know when they are coming, I would say get as much done as you can before they come. I know it's crazy time with the Holidays, but maybe you can get most big things packed up first and it will help you be a little less stressed.
We're headed to the Maldives on Christmas Eve!