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Possibly the weirdest question I've ever posed to the board...

blissfullyignorantblissfullyignorant
in Colorado Nesties

I'm probably going to get crazy side eye for this but the recent IF posts have got me thinking about it...

 

I'm pretty much done having kids. By that I mean that I'm definitely not planning on any more but nobody will give me permanent birth control until I hit 30 years old (seriously - I've asked about 3 dozen providers, PP, etc.). That said, I've got tons of eggs. I've been considering donating my eggs because there are so many awesome parents who haven't gotten the chance to be parents because of IF issues completely out of their control.

Would it be totally weird to donate eggs to someone I know or know through a couple degrees of separation? It feels wrong to sell them (which is essentially what you do imo when you go with one of the big agencies) and I want to know that they're in good hands. It doesn't matter to me whether I have contact with the couple. In my mind, once out of my body they're not my eggs. They belong to their parents.

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Re: Possibly the weirdest question I've ever posed to the board...

  • jacqueblittlejacqueblittle
    I dont think it would be weird at all to donate your eggs, in fact I think it would be great if that is a route you want to take.  I wish I could do that too (but my family history of illness would prevent me from doing this)..
    Report Reply
  • goldenjesgoldenjes
    I think if you're OK and have no emotional ties, then it's a great idea.

    PHOTOS REMOVED

    image

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  • **Texas Gal****Texas Gal**
    First of all, i think its a great idea and I don't think its weird!
    Report Reply
  • howleyshellhowleyshell member

    Ironically I donated twice prior to having my own IF struggles (great karma, huh?)

    I had to go thru a psychological screening to make sure I fully understood the implications prior to donating and I think most clinics would want even a "known" donor to do the same just to make sure there's no hesitation or second thoughts.

    Be aware that it's a VERY time intense process involving sometimes daily blood draws, multiple dildo cams, abstaining from sex for a bit, giving yourself injections at specific times of day, etc.

    You will need child care to make these appointments.

    I personally think it's an AMAZING thing to do.  My motivation was seeing many women in my office go thru multiple losses and having the thought process develop much like yours did - simply by being exposed to the world of infertility thru others' heart breaking stories.  It's not like they're getting used so why not help someone else achieve the dream of parenthood?  

    Just be aware that it's more time intensive than I thought it would be initially.

    But... I went back for another round when the birth parents requested me again so obviously it wasn't all that bad! 

    If you ever want to chat about the donor process just let me know! 

    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
    Report Reply
  • blissfullyignorantblissfullyignorant
    imagehowleyshell:

    Ironically I donated twice prior to having my own IF struggles (great karma, huh?)

    I had to go thru a psychological screening to make sure I fully understood the implications prior to donating and I think most clinics would want even a "known" donor to do the same just to make sure there's no hesitation or second thoughts.

    Be aware that it's a VERY time intense process involving sometimes daily blood draws, multiple dildo cams, abstaining from sex for a bit, giving yourself injections at specific times of day, etc.

    You will need child care to make these appointments.

    I personally think it's an AMAZING thing to do.  My motivation was seeing many women in my office go thru multiple losses and having the thought process develop much like yours did - simply by being exposed to the world of infertility thru others' heart breaking stories.  It's not like they're getting used so why not help someone else achieve the dream of parenthood?  

    Just be aware that it's more time intensive than I thought it would be initially.

    But... I went back for another round when the birth parents requested me again so obviously it wasn't all that bad! 

    If you ever want to chat about the donor process just let me know! 

    That's awesome! Thank you so much for sharing. I knew it was an in depth process but I wasn't sure what exactly it entailed. Would you mind e-mailing about it? I have a couple of questions I'd love to ask someone who has actually donated.

    I'm PMing you my e-mail address right now. 

    Report Reply
  • Jeep DollJeep Doll member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    I think that would be wonderful for you to donate to someone you know!  If I had the courage, I would ask my cousin if she wanted to donate an egg to me... but that is a very personal question and I don't think I can do it.  Coming from the donor's side, it is great, though!
    Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

    imageimage
    PAIF and SAIF welcome. IVF questions welcome, too.
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

    Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • Jeep DollJeep Doll member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    I wanted to add that DH's cousin has donated her eggs six times and she said they have you meet the recipients to make sure the match is approved by both them and you.  It is not really an anonymous thing.  She did it through a big agency, too.  This was in Boston, so it might not be the exact same here. 
    Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

    imageimage
    PAIF and SAIF welcome. IVF questions welcome, too.
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

    Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • howleyshellhowleyshell member
    imageJeep Doll:
    I wanted to add that DH's cousin has donated her eggs six times and she said they have you meet the recipients to make sure the match is approved by both them and you.  It is not really an anonymous thing.  She did it through a big agency, too.  This was in Boston, so it might not be the exact same here. 
    Her agency may have worked that way (high dollar ones do) but in most cases its so anonymous that the donor never even finds out if their eggs yield a pregnancy or live birth.
    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
    Report Reply
  • howleyshellhowleyshell member
    imageblissfullyignorant:
    imagehowleyshell:

    Ironically I donated twice prior to having my own IF struggles (great karma, huh?)

    I had to go thru a psychological screening to make sure I fully understood the implications prior to donating and I think most clinics would want even a "known" donor to do the same just to make sure there's no hesitation or second thoughts.

    Be aware that it's a VERY time intense process involving sometimes daily blood draws, multiple dildo cams, abstaining from sex for a bit, giving yourself injections at specific times of day, etc.

    You will need child care to make these appointments.

    I personally think it's an AMAZING thing to do.  My motivation was seeing many women in my office go thru multiple losses and having the thought process develop much like yours did - simply by being exposed to the world of infertility thru others' heart breaking stories.  It's not like they're getting used so why not help someone else achieve the dream of parenthood?  

    Just be aware that it's more time intensive than I thought it would be initially.

    But... I went back for another round when the birth parents requested me again so obviously it wasn't all that bad! 

    If you ever want to chat about the donor process just let me know! 

    That's awesome! Thank you so much for sharing. I knew it was an in depth process but I wasn't sure what exactly it entailed. Would you mind e-mailing about it? I have a couple of questions I'd love to ask someone who has actually donated.

    I'm PMing you my e-mail address right now. 

    YGEM.
    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
    Report Reply
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