Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Talk me out or into it
I agree with the others who said not to go. In the end, it will not make you feel better and for whatever reason, whatever his motivation, it would give this guy some satisfaction. Don't feed whatever weird craving they have for drama; you are better than that, you are better than them, and walking away to have a successful, happy life is not being a coward. The best revenge really and truly is living well, your energy is better spent on something that makes you feel good and moves you forward.
I would support standing him up, ignoring his phone calls or flat out telling him it's in the past and you're moving on with your life so meeting up would accomplish absolutely nothing for you.
"Thanks, but you've helped me enough."
Don't go; don't engage in the drama; don't go near him. This is nonsense.
You know that this guy just wants an opportunity to say, "I'm banging your wife! Neener neener neener! ", right?
If common sense doesn't appeal to you, keep this in mind: if you go, you will be eternally flamed on this board, and probably several others, for being a complete idiot.
Definitely.
Agreed... him wanting to meet with you has nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with HIM. He's an a$$clown that thinks that confessing to you will clear his soul. Tell him if he wants to be forgiven, he can go call a priest. He made his bed and now he can lie in it and one day when your ex is cheating on HIM, he'll know exactly how you feel. Don't give him the satisfaction of meeting with him...you're not going to gain anything positive out of it.
I 110% understand why you want to go and what you're hoping will result from it. You'll tell him how he ruined your life and he'll see the error of his ways and leave your stbxw and then she can feel what you feel. But the truth is that guy isn't even going to hear anything you say, it's going to go right over his head just like the fact that he was sleeping with a married woman went straight over his head.
He only wants to meet up with you to tell you his/their side of the story. How it's 'Not what you think' or 'It started off innocent I swear'. Nothing that will make you feel any better.
I read through some of the other posts and it seems like your leaning towards not going now and I really hope you don't, it can only do more harm than good.
My stbxh left me for my 'friend' of 10 years, someone my parents considered to be part of the family. I've had the sit her down and tell her how she destroyed my family fantasy many a times, but if she could do what she did to me without blinking an eye she would never truly hear what I had to say.