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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Chit Chat Thursday
I don't know because I change the station anytime they come on. I have become very desensitized to people's "plights" this holiday season. I just feel like a lot of people spend more time complaining and looking for hand-outs than they do looking for ways to improve their situations.
It also doesn't help that I went to our "angel" tree at work and looked at the wish tags. There are multiple tags per child. One 14 year old boy had three tags left on the tree with the following wishes: Call of Duty Modern Warfare for PS3, some new PS3 controller, Bose iPod docking station. Really?!?!?!? It is just too much.
Call me a Scrooge and insensitive....I'll own it this year.
Congrats on showers and birthdays and new jobs and Thursdays that are really Fridays! Woo hoo!
I told my boss this morning about our whole TTTC deal and we ended up talking for an hour about a myriad of things. Turns out he and his wife had no trouble conceiving but did have some scary stuff happen regarding pregnancy so he was super understanding.
Freaking out a little - I ordered topsy turvy cake pans from Amazon on Monday with 2 day shipping and they have not shown up. I need them tomorrow. I do not want to have to carve a topsy turvy cake.
Yes, we don't do the angel tree. I looked at the ones in our office and was a little appalled at the requests this year and last year.
We give very generously all year long, to charities we believe in. I don't feel the draw to give differently during the holidays. The only thing we did participate in this year was a donation to Operation Christmas Child through Samaritan's Purse. It provides kiddos in need with basic necessities and a little fun. Certainly not video games.
I remember this was a huge B&M last year cause there were a lot of ipod request on the "angel" trees. I will get them clothes and things like that, but ipod is too much for a 8 year old.
I had to look at a friend sided eyed because she got her 4 year old son a Ipad.. I'm getting a Tablet for DH! So a 28 year old and a 4 year old will be getting almost the same gift this year. Seems odd to me.
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Ehh, I don't think they are fake but I think some people are just really, really bad at being surprised or pretending they are surprised.
This is really flammable but that being said, I understand single mom-hood being difficult and I am a bitter b!tch for this but it burned me a little to know she was probably going to school on grants because she has two kids and no spouse. She didn't mention working, so probably large grants at that.
Maybe her situation is different but I will never understand why the government awards grants to those who have children above those who are working and waiting to have children at a time when they have finished school/can afford them.
I have a lot more to say about this but it will just serve to make me appear more bitter than I'd like, so I'll leave it at that.
I had a topsy turvy cake at our wedding, my SIL did for us, and it was beautiful! But I agree, carving out a topsy cake is very time consuming. If its not here by the end of the day, I would be calling to see where the heck its at. I have no patience for things like that when I order stuff online. I want my stuff NOW! *sounding like Veruca Salt*
She was a Marine who got a back injury. School probably financed by the military?
What struck me was not her reaction. It was the fact that she wanted to go see her mother, but her mother only spoke Spanish. Her daughter certainly did not sound Spanish...but if she was, then why did JSi have to translate the news?
It didn't make any sense.
PREACH! You don't get rewarded for good, smart decisions anymore.
Tiffany and Brianna, I agree I am a little skeptical of some of these charity things.
Sara, that is ridiculous! We never had an angel tree in Omaha, so I dont know if this is typical, but to me this type of charity should be used for necessities and maybe one fun item. I just can't fathom that a 14 y/o boy has a family that cant provide gifts for him, but yet he needs a $60 video game and his family is fine with that.
I agree. I am not saying that a child can only ask for socks or underwear, but maybe they should be encouraged to ask for the basics/needs and one big wish/fun item.
I looked at the wish tree thing at the mall and a child wanted a coat and a very inexpensive camera. I thought it was sweet.
For me it's hard to judge a single mom who is going back to school, since I doubt I will ever know her entire situation. For all I know she could be a battered single mom who is trying to get a degree, so she can get a good job to support her young children. She may be going to school full-time during the day and unable to work much, because she cannot afford child care in the evenings. For that, I think it's okay for her to get a grant. Pretty sure she qualifies.
ETA: I did not listen to KKITM, so my scenario is just in general.
Tiffany - Oh yeah. Okay, well I retract my upset with her but everything else still stands.
Lacey - I guess I am just jaded because I go to school with these women every day and some of the things said kill me. It's one thing if you are a mom and you work and you get grants to go to school - good for you. It's a complete other issue when you don't work at all, you go to school for free and get money to live on from the government but still complain.
This probably doesn't help anyone's stance on skepitism with charities, but my grandparents adopt a family through a church in the town every year. My grandmother is a VERY giving person - like she carries extra coats in her car and stops on the side of the road to give them to people that aren't wearing one... she just cares about people so much.
Well, last year, she had a family of a mom and two kids. They were 8 and 11. She is only required to buy one wrapped gift per family member, and provide a Christmas Ham or Turkey. But, she always goes above and beyond. This service actually puts her directly in contact with the mother and allows her to forge a relationship with this family.
Upon their first discussion, the mother said they have two friends staying with them, that willl require gifts as well. Yes, require. She also said that her children NEED bikes, and that she had picked them out already and put them on hold. Also chose Nike brand tennis shoes, a PS3 and a laptop. My grandmother was beside herself because she wanted to help but felt like she was being taken advantage of (which, she was). So, she told the mother that she would buy the bikes for the children (they were $200 bikes, EACH), and a laptop for the mother but that was it.
After she delivered the gifts, my grandmother went to Walmart to pick up groceries. She watched the mother walk in, return the gifts, and get money for them.
I WAS TICKED. Needless to say, that's the last time she did that. Such a shame too, because there are people that really do need the help.
Bio
I remember this. I was ticked off about it last year and I have re-ignited the ticked off on behalf of your sweet Grandmother.
OK, you probably didn't intend to, but this rubbed me the wrong way. You can't honestly say that because someone is a single mother they made a bad, dumb decision. I may be far reaching here, but there are always two sides to everything. I certainly hope that you don't make that type of assumption as a typical generalization.
I understand the arguement that even if you don't have children, you still deserve the government money, because I agree. And I understand that the system is TOTALLY flawed, but that statement bothered me. A lot.
Bio
Honestly, to me you don't even have to work at a job. I just want you to be greatful you are given what you have been and not abuse it. One woman in my class announced to everyone she was aiming for a C because that's the minimum she has to do to keep receiving her money. You'll never in a million years guess whose group she ended up in this semester.
ETA: I don't mean like "I'm working hard to make sure I'm getting a C." I mean, "I'm doing the minimum I can to scrape by with a C and no more."
She is too sweet. And she feels guilty for not doing the program this year too, sadly!
Bio
I'm right there with you Brianna.
The good, smart decision comment wasn't aimed directly at single mothers. It was a general statement. I honestly do not believe that in our society you are rewarded for making good decisions.
I respect/appreciate your opinion to be "rubbed the wrong way" by my line of thinking. I didn't put my opinion out there to stir the pot or offend anyone.
It's so funny this conversation comes up, as I'm literally applying for financial aid for continuing Ed classes at this moment. I feel a little guilty, because I recently got an inheritance and have the money for the classes. But I qualify for aid, and I'd rather keep the other money in savings for as long as I can.
P.S. I'm not taking fluff classes, i'm taking small business classes.
P.P.S. There's a woman sitting next to me with the cutest baby. I am dying of cuteness.
P.P.P.S. I'm going to look into insurance for catastrophic events. You all convinced me yesterday, so thanks!
Brianna, that is a horrible story about your grandmother. I mean, I can hardly believe it.
I'm with Tiffany, I am more of a believer that giving should be year round.and I get a little jaded with all the "Kissmas wish" type stuff. But I do use Christmas as a time to give more because I feel like I don't do enough year round.
Even though I was a single mom, I really don't have input because I feel like financially I suffered very little--I had a good job and a supportive ex-husband. Where I did lack was saving--I just wasn't able to do very much of it. But I did take Mel on vacation for 5 years straight--money that I should have been putting away for college and I regret doing that now. Now here she is ready for college and if it wasn't for Ben, I don't know what I would be doing. I guess Mel would get a loan (still probably wouldn't qualify for a grant) and I would help her pay it back. Not the best scenario though. Luckily, now I don't have to worry about it.
The cost of education as a whole bothers me though. There are so many people I feel that slip throught the cracks, and it's expensive for everyone--even Ben and I who make decent money and have savings will struggle to pay for it. I don't know what the answer is.
Ben's birthday is today and I am bringing home Eatzi's and making a cake and Saturday we are going to Morton's, mmmmmmm......
With All the Trimmings
Just do it!
You go to school with a handful of "these" women. Not everyone takes advantage of the system. It's unfortunate that we do not have a system in place to weed out those that take advantage of the system, versus those that benefit from the system and go on the be contributing members of our society.
I can see where Sara is coming from and it doesn't seem like she mean for it to offend anyone. When I was in school my parent's didn't pay for a thing. I worked two jobs just for food and rent then had to take out loans to cover school. Since I wasn't 25, military, married, have a kid or something else I wasn't given any government money. I was a 18 year old who's parents didn't want to pay for school, but they could so I didnt' qualify. It sucks and of course I'm paying for it now. DH and I have to wait to get my debt under track before having kids which will be about Feb. There is nothing to help me even though I did it on my own and paying back on time, everytime!
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Just so you don't get a surprise denial - depending on the financial aid process/size of the inheritance, it might keep you from receiving aid. One of the reasons I had to take out loans this semester was because of our emergency fund. I didn't feel comfortable using that money to go to school so the only option for me was loans.
Regarding insurance: This makes me glad! I was worried about it.
I could argue that someone (like a single mother, or someone out of prison), is making the smart, correct, good decision by deciding to attend school.
It's a slippery slope, and while I agree with the sentiment that just because you haven't had a child, or you haven't had any trouble with the law, or you DID have parents who could afford to send you to school - that shouldn't make you any less worthy of financial support for education. I'm thankful that our society is one that gives second chances, and does help people better their situations.
Just walk a mile in their shoes, kind of a thing.
Bio
As did I, and that's definitely where the system is flawed. The argument isn't whether or not the system is flawed though.
I think that people should have the support available if they need it... anyone. But it doesn't change that the fact that the generalization irked me.
Bio
Sara - I'm confused as to what reward you should get for making smart decisions.
I also paid my way through college with 2+ jobs and student loans. I feel I received a good education and am happy with the job I have because of that education. I'm now paying those student loans back. Should I expect someone to help me pay those back?
Oh brother.....
As I stated earlier, I respect/appreciate that your opinion is different than mine and like I also stated earlier, I did not intend to stir the pot or offend. I am not stating my opinion to appear superior or to demand everyone agree with my way of thinking.
If you want to continue to harp on it, please remember that you don't know me or know what kind of shoes I have walked in or walk in today.