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Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: No more formula samples!
Holy crap. What happened - mastitis? That sounds horrid.
So who regulates the cost of formula?
Has mastitis about 6 times in 6 weeks. Ended up in the emergency room with a very serious breast abscess and had emergency surgery that night. The put in a tube to drain the abscess, which remained for a month, while I remained in the hospital for one week on IV antibiotics. They said the infection was so severe they thought I had MRSA and was in isolation for awhile. Needless to say, I know my case is very rare but the lactation consultant was still insisting I BF from the damaged breast HOURS after the operation. Also, I was still pumping in the hospital and because I wasn't able to clean it too well, she ripped me a new *** about how it's disgusting, that caused my problems yadyadyada.....She was a beotch, seriously...
I donated any samples that I couldn't use (cans of powder) to my local food bank.
I don't think being given the samples makes it any easier of a decision whether or not to BF. I think there are women out there who say they are going to breastfeed & don't, and only say they're going to at least try because it's the "right thing" to say. I was amazed how many co-workers asked my husband whether or not I was breastfeeding, so yeah--there's pressure.
Me "giving up" on breastfeeding was more about my sanity and I don't regret it. Having the samples sent home with me didn't make that decision any easier. I tried, I tried so hard, but it just didnt' work out. I tried in the hospital, but the militant LC that worked with me was no help. This LC came to my room the day after my LO was born; my LO was in the NICU (born more than a month early) and when I told her that, she questioned ME about it. I made the mistake of questioning my supply; she in turn pretty much gave me a t!tty twister to show me that I had "something". She didn't just squeeze my nip, I'm talking full on t!tty twist. At one point I started bawling and she said that she hoped I was crying because of hormones. When I got home, I kept trying. We were supplementing with formula, but the breast always came first. My supply sucked. I bought a pump earlier than I needed to so I could pump while the baby was sleeping, then I rented a hospital grade pump. All in an effort to try to get my supply up. It wasn't working. Add to that having an infant screaming at you because she's hungry and your boob isn't cutting it...yeah.
When I came home from the hospital, I had three lactation consultants come visit me at home--in between the nurses who came to my house to monitor my blood pressure. I consulted with LLL. I visited the Virtua support group. Everyone tried to help me, but it just didn't work.
I loathed myself. My days consisted of attempting to BF my LO, pumping, attempting to BF my LO, pumping, etc. I felt like a failure. I was so stressed. I had the stress of being a FTM, the stress of weekly PP visits to my ob/gyn where I would find out my BP still hadn't come down, the stress of bi-weekly visits (during her first three months alive) to CHOP so my LO could have bloodwork done to monitor her hemoglobin issues (Rh incompatability). The stress of pumping and getting out maybe getting 6 oz for an entire day. It didn't work & I hated myself for it. I finally flipped out over it & ended up bawling in my ob/gyn's office. My ob/gyn was the 3rd person who told me that not breastfeeding was not the end of the world & for sanity's sake I should consider stopping it. I stopped cold turkey & was amazed at the difference it made. My ob/gyn couldn't believe the difference in me the following week. What Tina Fey wrote in her book about her BF experience, I could've written. Similac did for me what an antidepressant might've done for someone else.
I still question my supply: I stopped BF & pumping cold turkey and got nothing--no pain, no engorgement, nothing.
this makes me seriously livid. no one should ever be made to feel badly about how they choose to feed their baby (as long as they are feeding the baby). period. end of story. lcs can be brutal and completely uncalled for in their methods.
i told myself i would give breastfeeding 6 weeks to see if it worked. dh and i agreed to this timeline. we were lucky and it was and is very easy for us and i know how lucky this makes me. having oversupply and engorgement when you are in the nicu makes you an oddball freak and i couldn't get an lc to talk to me because i wasn't having the normal issues that they deal with. i had a horrible experience with all of the ones i had the pleasure of working with while ds was in the nicu.
you should have free (meaning unfettered not cost) access to bf education or formula and no judgement after you have a kid. that's it.
I couldn't agree more. I was so upset that BF wasn't working out for us and I was literally having anxiety attacks over the whole issue in the hospital. I can't tell you how upsetting it was to have the LC come in and judge me after I told her we switched to formula. She walked over to the wipe off board in my room and erased her info and said something like well since you've decided you don't want to do what's best for your baby...
After that my MIL had the misfortune of calling 3 times to question why I wasn't BFing anymore and and got to hear me scream, while crying, "why doesn't she come over here and effing breastfeed him herself!"
I don't think people realize that it's not a decision most people take lightly and that you are made out to be the freaking devil if you FF. I think taking away the formula samples from people who need them just encourages that. Again, this is just my situation but if I was pushed any harder to feel like crap over FF I think I would have needed to be put on anti anxiety meds.
this made me think of a sitution with a LC when taryn was in the nicu....when questioned if she was pumping, the mom of the baby next to us said "no" because she had a mastectomy a few years prior. the lc rudely says, "well, was it a double? did you explore all your options before you did that? Your baby is sick and BM is best for him right now" thank goodness the dad stepped in and handled that situation (the mom was in tears).....
This post is screaming at me to quit my job and become an "infant feeding consultant" with the ability to advise FF or BF but without strong opinion or agenda either way.
There is a ton of pressure to BF. People I barely knew would ask if I were and I could proudly/with relief of being judged say yes but always thought in the back of my head, When did it become ok for us to discuss my boobs?
There are worse things to be pressured into. Their (LCs, nosey coworkers, BF friends) intentions are good. But it's a nice option to have formula samples available to you in the event you want to plan for the unplanned issue or complication.
You're not the only person who has disliked the LC's at Virtua. They didn't bother me too much. I went to the support group and liked it. But I know so many people had very bad experiences with them. Sorry to hear of your experience.
I have never ever once heard of a decent hospital based LC. My own personal theory is that if they were any good, they would be making bank in private practice.
I also agree with Katie that I think there are worse things to be pressured into than breastfeeding, especially in the hospital when you are sore and exhausted. I mean,who really feels like breastfeeding after labor? I sure as hell didn't.
It's hard. You are pretty much doomed for breastfeeding if you don't establish right away - when you are at your most exhausted and vulnerable. So yes, people are pushy, but to a certain extent, it is because you usually need the push. But again, this could all be solved with my master education plan! If people knew about how to establish supply, how and when milk comes in, how often you really need to feed, and had reasonable educated expectations about sleep (yours and the baby's), it might not seem like you have this militant crack addict screaming at you. Or at least you could tell her to eff off because you knew what was up.
I will say I dislike how many people refer to LC's as 'militant' or 'bf nazi's' or the like.
I feel like they get caught up in the whole bf as a feminist issue when they really should just be treated like any other medical personnel. I mean, I don't know any doctors that are referred to in that manner when they're trying to do their job.
I understand that people are pushy & to a certain extent it?s because you need it, but here?s a difference between good unbiased, fact-filled & stern pushing vs bad ?you?re a horrible mother if you don?t BF? pushing. While there needs to be more unbiased education out there for mothers regarding BF & FF, there are many LC?s who need to be re-educated/re-evaluated in regard to their methods.
When I?m sitting in my hospital room in tears because the LC pretty much dressed me down like I was her own child & then says she hopes I?m crying because of hormones & not something she said?not good pushing. When the same LC comes into my room the next day, sees me feeding my baby formula & asks how long I tried BF?ing, and then pretty much rips the bottle out of my hand & opens my hospital gown saying ?unacceptable, you should try at least 20 mins? when I say we tried for 15?again, not good pushing. That didn?t help me BF and it most certainly didn?t help my blood pressure.
The women on here who give BF and pumping advice? I wish there were more LC?s like them.