Advice Please!! Inlaws blowing up our phones

alithebride · December 2011

so you have 2 choices: 1) stick to your guns, turn your phones to silent when yuo dont want to be bothered and call them back when it's good for you OR 2) keep doing what you're doing-you've seen how well that has worked out.

and fwiw-i would've just told him your shoe size and have been gracious. that's the thing about gifts-even if they're something you dont want or dont need you have to be gracious. there are plenty of donation bins around that you can use after christmas.

Kristine Schilling · December 2011

no real advice, but a funny.... My IL's call daily to see if I am in labor yet, and if we dont answer the phone, they call over and over and over until we do. Because "oh my gosh, they didnt answer maybe its time!"

Keep in mind i am not due for 3 weeks. lol

Tell them to leave a voice mail from now on because occationally, you cant get to the phone, or its out of battery or something.

lyrical · December 2011

KateLouise:

Life&Gwen:
Thank you for this advice, but just a note---we never, never, never answer the phone, and that must be my fault for not clarifying it in the OP; I called FIL back after dinner (before dessert, though, because H's grandma was in the hospital earlier in the week; we were worried she'd gone back to the heart floor again.) But I didn't answer when they called, and I hope anyone here who has this type of problem gets to experience that freedom that comes with sliding the screen to ignore an IL's call until you're in a good place to call them back. Thank you, everyone who left genuine advice and thanks too for not sugar coating it. I'll talk again with my H and make sure he isn't "falling off the call-screening wagon" while he's at work or other times. It's just been so restoring to see our position affirmed by so many people, all agreeing that it's a healthy boundary for a married couple to set. G'night, all.

So you actually returned your FIL's phone call at a semi-convenient time to yourself, because you were concerned there might be something urgent?

And as part of clarifying the urgency, you couldn't simply answer the shoe size question?

yeah that's odd to me.

Ditto. YOU called HIM back at YOUR convenience, but then "set a boundary" by refusing to answer the question he called with? Lovely. Your ILs may be a huge pain, but this doesn't make you sound any easier to deal with.

imsnazzy · December 2011

I am literally LOLing that you are blatantly ignoring all the advice that goes against your initial feeling. PP is right - constructive criticism isn't your thing

That being said, sure, your inlaws sound like kind of a pain. But they were trying to do something nice for you. Who cares that you don't want shoes? It's a gift! I have a SIL that has something to say about every gift or compliment you give her - "Thanks, but I don't use these because of xyz." It's irritating and even hurtful at times.

And I hope you don't tell them that you keep your phone on all day in case anyone but them calls. You should seriously be ashamed of yourself.

Sisugal · December 2011

Turn your phones off when you do not want calls.

Let your DH deal with HIS family.

Answer the simple question when asked (shoe size ).

Yes, more grace is needed in this situation - on your part as well.

~NB~ · December 2011

Life&Gwen:

.... they and some of their friends are of the opinion that we're just being awful children.

I can't believe the two of you are letting these azzholes scream and swear at you and TREAT YOU LIKE CHILDREN.

Set your phones to put their calls directly into voicemail.

kgettingmarried · December 2011

Stop answering your phone. They will get the point after awhile.

Advice Please!! Inlaws blowing up our phones

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