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Do you mind if I talk about some wedding stuff?
FI and I have been trying to figure out how we are going to afford a small wedding. 75 people or less. We want low key and basically just want our family that we interact with on a regular basis to be there. He has a large family, so 75 is probably the minimum.
We are thinking about having it on a Friday to save money. Is that a bad idea? I've only ever known one person who had a Friday wedding. A lot of people attended, but I don't like the idea of asking people to use their vacation days for our wedding. We could do a later wedding, but all of his family will be traveling at least 2 hrs to get there and then they will be driving home late.
We are telling family that we may not have a wedding because that was our original idea, but we are getting negative responses from them. Some of them jokingly said they'd pay their own way if it meant that we would have a wedding (we aren't telling people we can't afford it, that is their assumption). We'd like to have something but don't want to be foolish and spend money we don't have so we are weighing our options to see how we can cut costs as much as possible and still be classy.
Anyone have ideas? We are looking at September as a potential month, so we have to get moving!
Re: Do you mind if I talk about some wedding stuff?
I never even thought of that! We could avoid having music and dancing that way, too!
ETA: I like music and dancing, but having a DJ is just one more expense.
Congrats Mort! I saw your post, but I haven't figured out how to post on my new smartphone.
I also like the idea of a Sunday brunch, it saves a lot of money. We're doing it on a Sunday and just had to look around at places with minimums in our budget. We are also having about 75 guests. Some places might also do a Saturday morning brunch if you ask around.
Thanks DL!
While I'm excited about planning something, it's very overwhelming! I had in my head we weren't going to do anything but now I have a challenge to figure this out on a small amount of money.
How's your planning going? I haven't been able to even lurk on here for a while because of work being so busy, so if you've had posts about it I haven't seen them.
We had a Friday afternoon/early evening wedding with a very limited guest list. It was wonderful. No stress, fun and simple. We did a dessert platter and coffee/tea in a beautiful public building walking distance from our house, and that was that. I planned the whole thing in less than a month. It should be said that this wedding was for family and friends only (not for legalities, I mean). We'd already gotten civilly married the month before at the courthouse.
One thing, though, that was a bit "risky" was our issue with the rabbi. He couldn't marry us after sunset (you can't get married on the Shabbat) so we had to do it earlier in the evening.
If you want simple, keep it simple. I think spending thousands and thousands of dollars on a pretty princess day is a bit nonsensical, but that's me. I'd much rather get a new car or an updated computer than spend the money entertaining others. Why yes, I am a scrooge.
ETA: I looove the idea of a Sunday brunch wedding.
I like the Sunday brunch idea too! It could be a more informal party, but still beautiful, and likely less pricey.
I was invited to a Friday wedding once, and did not attend partially* due to the time off reasons. For close family/friends it probably wouldn't be a big deterrent, but something like Sunday brunch keeps them from having to take time off or drive late that night!
(*The other reasons were more pressing - #1 being that I was secretly in love with the groom, who several years and one divorce later is now known as Mr. Bang, lol)
Mags...that sounds good! I think our families would like something like that.
The only issue I see is that getting married in a church might be impossible on a Sunday, especially if we want to have a brunch (they may not even do weddings on Sundays). Last church service is at 10:15 and lasts about an hour. Getting married in a church is one of the things I don't want to compromise on.
Shoot...I really liked that idea but hadn't thought about the whole church thing initially.
It's going okay, kind of at a stand still right now because there wasn't a lot for me to do before the holidays. I'm going to start working on save the dates when I get my act together.
Maybe you can find a church to marry you at 7am...6am...if that is important to you
I completely agree. I'm too old for the big pretty princess wedding anyway...not that I would have even gone for that when I was younger. I want an elegant low key wedding with close family. I want people to enjoy themselves and eat good food. The whole reason why we weren't going to do something initially is because we have some big expenses coming up in the next few years.
Yes and that's what I'm thinking. I didn't even think of that at first and now when I think about it it probably won't work. I don't think I can ask my pastor to marry us super early in the morning either.
I have some thinking, budgeting and research to do!
I was just about to suggest a Saturday afternoon. Churches usually have a noon slot for wedding and a lot of places that host receptions are cheaper if you are done by 4pm.
Do you mind if I ask what kind of budget you are working with?
One of the things we did that helped our budget a lot was serving sangria, wine and beer instead of a full bar. I love sangria and it's so easy to make a huge batch in advance and the sangria was actually our cheapest alcohol option (it was around $2 a glass).
I think bridesmaids dresses in white are a great way to find an a killer dress for much less than a bridal gown.
And if you choose venues that are naturally pretty, you might spend a bit more on rental fees but you'll make up for it on decorating savings. We used a restaurant so our rental fee included all the dishes, glasses, silverware, etc. we needed and tables, chairs, tablecloths and cloth napkins. The restaurant is gorgeous already and it only cost $900 to rent for the entire day.
BFP #4 It's a BOY!
CP: July 2011
BFP #3: 11/3/2011 M/C 12/12/11
We miss you and love you always, little firecrackers!
My family and I also attend on Saturdays...our church has Saturday services at 5:00 p.m and also Sunday a.m. services.
I don't remember where you live, but be careful with a morning ceremony... I went to a wedding earlier this year where there were maybe 20 people including me & the bridal party, because everyone got caught in traffic. There were like 150 at the reception. Seriously.
IDK what denomination you are, but if you're near a city a lot of the cathedrals have small offshoot chapels and the non-bishop priest you can use. Also, if you're near a college a lot of them also have chapels that are only rarely used on Sundays, so as long as you're not trying to get married on The Annunciation or something you should be OK.
I don't know what our exact budget is yet. I'm trying to see about what things might cost and see if it's even possible. $5k will probably be our budget, but that's just a number I pulled out of the air knowing what our savings are and future spending will be. I can't imagine it being less than $5k.
My dress will be simple and inexpensive and probably won't even be white. We probably won't have attendants either.
My goal: Have a simple but elegant party with good food that everyone will enjoy. Also, I don't want to have it at my house (not enough room plus I don't want the stress of having to host).
In my experience, a Friday wedding is kind of a waste. It's between making people take time off OR doing it in the evening, and then people leave super early into the reception because they've worked a whole day.
For a small, low key affair- your best bet is a Saturday or Sunday brunch.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
With a brunch- you also don't need a full bar. Just do brunchy drinks (mimosas, bellinis, Bloody Marys) and you're good to go.
Lallen did a rockin' brunch wedding on a budget.
No DJ needed--- play nice background music on your iPod, etc.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
Morty- PM me your email address if you want me to send you my budget worksheet (created by my business partner and I when we were wedding planning). You type in the total budget and it breaks up how much should be spent on the individual areas based on average percentages. Then if you don't use all of the money alloted to a certain area, you can reallocate it to something else (i.e. if you decide not to have a dj, you can put that money towards the floral budget, etc).
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
I think the Sunday idea is a great one. When does your church have services? I know a lot of people who got married after church on Sunday.
I've been invited to one Friday wedding and there were a lot of hurt feelings by people who couldn't attend. BIL is currently planning a Friday night wedding, and I'm curious to see how many people can't make it.
I know with my work schedule, Fridays are a mandatory day for me. The entire office has to close if I miss a day. I wouldn't be able to get off work and drive 2 hours for a wedding.
Our reception was under $5k for everything for a dinner reception with DJ, gratuity, service, food, alcohol, cake, etc. We used a restaurant and I would highly recommend it. I found that the prices were better than traditional caterers or venues (at least in our area) and the food was much better too.
If we had done a brunch or lunch with sangria and just background music from our Ipod, I bet we could have done 100 people for $2500-$3000.
BFP #4 It's a BOY!
CP: July 2011
BFP #3: 11/3/2011 M/C 12/12/11
We miss you and love you always, little firecrackers!
YGPM! Thanks!
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
I missed the announcement - congrats!
I got married on a Saturday morning, the invites said 11-3. It was a little short, but we were back at the hotel at 4 and it was way cheaper to do it in the morning.