Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Deleted.
So none of the calls were during times when you and your husband were together? I am trying to figure out if your husband's phone has been cloned. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Did he have to make a bunch of phone calls to arrange your terrific Christmas present? Has he been working on a huge deal at work that has required lots of phone calls? Has there been any other indication of an affair?
If you can't figure out any reasonable explanation for these calls, it is time to figure a few things out before you confront him. If he is having an affair, will you leave him? Will you want to reconcile?
The reason I ask is that this can shape how you proceed. If you just want to reveal the truth so that you can storm out of the house in a fit of anger and rightousness, then hire a detective, try to get the phone company to reveal the blocked number by questioning the charges, put a key-logger on the computer to see if they are communicating through email. You can try to install a voice activated recorder in his car so that you can hear his drive-time conversations. Try to separate him from his phone to look for texts. EMail any incriminating material to another account so that he can't just delete and deny. Visit a divorce attorney first to see if proof of adultery will work to your favor in a divorce. Get tested for STDs. Get your ducks in a row THEN confront your husband.
If you think you may want to reconcile, gather the same information (you don't want him to be able to "gaslight" you in to thinking that you are imagining this) and confront him. If you go to www.survivinginfidelity.com, they offer lots of good advice as to what steps you can take to end the affair and work on reconciling (like how to effectuate non-communication with the OW, etc.)
Here is hoping it is something completely innocent...
I went through a similar situation - we had an "easy" marriage and relationship as well - and then we had kids, moved, close family member's death, etc. I was still in the mindset that everything was still "easy" and this would never happen, so I accepted his explanation that he was talking to a male friend several times a day, and never when I was around - for a few weeks anyway.
We ended up separating about a month after because he was acting like he'd checked out of the marriage (which he basically had). I didn't collect information b/c we live in a no-fault divorce state, and it wouldn't have mattered - I didn't want to know how often he was talking to her, where he was spending money on her after he moved out, etc... I was able to get sole physical custody, child support, keep the home, etc. just based on state laws and calculations anyway. This is where checking with a lawyer is important...
I honestly hope it's nothing - DaringMiss had a good game plan to follow.
I think you should ask YOUR HUSBAND
He is the only person that can answer this
All this.
I hope it turns out to be something else though. Good luck.
BFP #4 It's a BOY!
CP: July 2011
BFP #3: 11/3/2011 M/C 12/12/11
We miss you and love you always, little firecrackers!
Indeed find out what/whose telephone number this is first -- and then call the number yourself to see what's what.
And even if you find out it's the phone number of a "friend"s, who's to say that this person won't get their number changed or that your H won't run out and get another cell phone, just to call that person?
If it turns out that this is an emotional affair, I wouldn't bank on keeping him around as an H. If he is doing this, he's not a decent and happily married man. You decide what it is you want to do and where you want to go from here. GL.
You should copy the bill...also look at last months as well....see when this # started popping up...we all know the answer isnt goingto be a good one....there is no reasonable explanation that i can think of...anyone? nope
make copies....call phone company...is your name on account? if so they will give you the #....search the # online....call it....whatever but when you sit this guy down, you better have what you need to make him confess...
Thank you ALL for the advice. I really really appreciate it. Gut feeling is bad at this point.
I am DDing just the main post because H is aware of the nest (not that I think he would look, but it makes me nervous). I am leaving the replies for my reference.
Thanks again.
I hope you resolve this issue. And you do what's the right thing for you.