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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Would you consider getting remarried?
I was curious as to what you ladies would think about this.
I was doing a lot of thinking this weekend, being a new year and all, and was thinking about whether or not I would like to remarry. And I wondered how many of you would consider gettin remarried.
And if so, how long would/should you be in a relationship with someone before thinking that they could be "the one" and that you want to marry? Did that timeframe change from the first time around?
Re: Would you consider getting remarried?
I would definitely consider it. I would still like to have children, and marriage is part of that picture for me. That said, the clock is ticking on how much longer I can have children, so I try not too put too much pressure of myself - whatever is supposed to happen, will, and I'm pretty comfortable with that.
As far as timeframes go, I can really imagine being comfortable getting engaged to someone I'd known less than a year - all circumstances are different, but I think that's a reasonable period of time. My XH and I started dating when I was 21 and he was 19, so obviously we were working on a completely different time schedule - we dated for about 6 years before tying the knot.
Although I'm just very recently divorced, I would like to get married again some day. I still want kids. I still believe in the institution of marriage. But I plan on taking my time.
But, OP, knowing your personal situation & how you married the same man twice already, I definitely think I'd take my time before even considering walking down the aisle again.
I would definitely like to get remarried some day, but who knows if it would actually happen. I do know that I would do things much differently the second time, and would actually prefer to just elope. The first time, I think my mistake was making it all about the wedding and not enough about the marriage that comes after, second time around, I guarantee it will be the opposite.
As for how long in the relationship, I don't think that there is a concrete answer to that, whenever it feels right I would think.
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
I would like to get married again, however, I hoped to only be married once. My mom has been married twice and is engaged to be married again. I certainly don't want to end up in that situation. I still want children and I hope to have children by 35 which only gives me 5 years so we shall see what happens.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Yes, I would like to get married again. I like the "ideals" marriage is supposed to provide- security, companionship, etc.
I don't think my timeline has changed as far as how long I am with someone before I decide if we are right together, but my methods of analyzing have. Instead of rationalizing flaws, I take a deep hard look at them now.
Yes.
I would like to have a child and for me that would also mean being married.
I also will change my last name if I get married again and will wear an engagement ring&wedding band for round two (I did not do those two things this time. I kept my maiden name because he said he didnt care if I changed it and he didnt see it as important and I didnt wear rings because I hate the way they feel but for round two I will surgically implant them if necessary because I think its important).
Yes I would, but in time.
I've been separated from my ex H for 3 years now. 2 of those years I have been dating my current SO. We are moving again this year to a new rental, I am (hopefully) going to have a job change, and some other stressful stuff coming up. We've already endured one move and some other issues, but I think we're in a good place and can withstand any major changes.
For me, 2012 will be telling on whether we stay together long term. I can see us getting engaged in another year maybe, with a wedding a year after that, but not any sooner.
It's all about your personal healing and listening to your gut. Don't feel pressured to decide anytime soon if you want to re-marry or not. It will come with time.
Meh, I'm ambivilant about the whole thing. I used to think I did want to get married again but the more I think about it... marriage doesn't guarantee security or commitment, the relationship does. So I'm more interested in building a strong relationship rather than locking it down with a marriage.
I also do not want kids so I think that factors into my decision.
I probably will marry again. But...
I get a weird sense of pleasure out of being "alone" and knowing that I have only myself to rely on, but when I DO break down and realize I need someone to lean on and/or support me, I break down really hard. So I think I would do best in a marriage with someone who also has an independent spirit like me (not needy), and we weren't the kind of couple that's attached at the hip -- I need space and alone time probably more than the average person.
To answer your other questions, at the moment I feel like I'd like to give myself at least 3-ish years with a new person before a making a bigger commitment. I'd like at least one of those years to be us living together.
I don't really think I had a time frame last time around, so I guess I can't answer that one.
Yep, all that. Plus, I'm only 32...God willing, the rest of my life is a really long time to be single. I'm also open to the idea of another child at some point.
I definitely want to get married again. Mostly because I want kids. The first time I got married we got engaged after 11 months and married just shy of two years of dating. I think the time frame was fine. I'd probably wait a little bit longer this time just because I want to be completely sure.
Yes, I would like to get remarried. I want a family and children and for me that means getting married.
As for how long to be in a relationship before knowing that I'm with "the one" - I think it varies by person and by relationship. I've been with BF for a little over a year (14 months) and while I'm not ready to get engaged yet (nor is he), I feel pretty confident that he is the one I want to start a family and spend my life with. I mean, I wouldn't be with him if I didn't see a future together. I could imagine us getting engaged around the 2 year mark, of course depending on how the relationship develops and how we're feeling at that point in time.
Regarding the time frame changing between my first marriage and a potential second marriage - really, if I'm honest with myself, I knew deep down when my XH proposed that I should have said no. We had been dating for almost exactly 2 years at that time, then had a year engagement. If my BF and I were to get engaged I could see the time frame being similar, but how I feel now is a whole hell of a lot different than the first time around.
Life didn't go how I'd hope it would but I am not going to punish myself either. I loved being married to my stbxh but he chose to leave. With this being my second divorce, I am scared as heck of entering into a new relationship in the future. What makes it harder for me is that I would like say I won't get married again but because of my faith, I would need to be married to have a full fledged relationship. Otherwise, I wouldn't get remarried.
Yes..I was married to the wrong person the last time. I don't necessarily think he is a terrible person, I just think he isn't the right person for me....
I have been with my STBH for about 11 months now and we are planning our wedding for 10/12....I agree with PP, this wedding will be about us instead of being about the wedding and all the crap that went with it...Short, simple and to the point...
I will remarry. BF and I have talked a lot about it prior to starting to move my stuff into his house. I would not be moving in if that wasn't the intent on both our parts.
I think two years ago when I was getting divorced I may have said "maybe" ... at that point I wasn't sure what I wanted. But as several ladies already said, I liked being a wife and having my family around, I was just doing it with the wrong person. Ex had different goals than I did in the end (he lied about his goals originally so it seemed we were on the same page ... I see him doing this now with his gf and it makes me sad for her).
i plan on getting re-married, and in the not too distant future (setting picked out, think we found the stone, negotiating trade in price on old ring).
i've worked with the guy who is "the one" for years, but we never talked to each other until a work trip the end of may this year. i had been checked out of my marriage for years and kept wanting to end it. i finally ended my marriage after that work trip and never looked back. I moved in with BF a week after my divorce (first week in July), I've never been happier, he's never been happier. things happen certain ways for a reason. we harrass our mutual friend that since he knew each of us so well he should have hooked us up years ago and saved us the trouble and cost of our failed marriages. But i think we needed to go through every thing we did to become the people we are now.
first time around i dated XH on and off for 6 years mostly long distance. we didn't live together until after we were marriage and life sucked immediately. i knew better than to get married to him but did it anyway.
I could have basically written most of this post. I want children, and I'd like to be able to do that while being married (but I haven't ruled out going for it alone if I have to.)
I can also see getting engaged after less than a year. I dated my XH for 3 years before we got married, so it's not like I jumped into a marriage. I think I know myself better than I did before, and I can evaluate what I'm looking for much better. I think the main thing I plan on doing before I think about getting married again is living with the person. I did not live with XH until 2 weeks before the wedding, and I think living together would have helped me figure out some of the issues before we got married.
I wondered how many of you would consider gettin remarried.
I am very newly and very happily remarried.
And if so, how long would/should you be in a relationship with someone before thinking that they could be "the one" and that you want to marry?
We got engaged a year ago after 2.5 years of dating, and married over the summer close to our three year anniversary. I was 3 weeks from 27, and he was 2 weeks from 29.
Did that timeframe change from the first time around?
Oh yes. XH and I were together for about 9 months total when we got married. And I was 20. I filed less than a year later.