Trouble in Paradise
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Gah this NIP thing just burns my biscuits!
I'm mostly with fuss on this one. It is a stupid thing to fight about. I like you Betty, but your arguements are making you talk out of both sides of your mouth, and making you look like an idiot. "Just because it is illegal doesn't mean I'm wrong."
It isn't the NIP behavior that I am against, at all. It is just the inappropriate behavior in general. As in, I would never sit on the floor or the shelf in Target without my baby. It doesn't make it wrong because I am NIP, it makes it wrong because it is a stupid thing to do.
By arguing that it is a NIP problem, you are part of the problem that is making it so the people like you and I, with a shred of dignity, get dirty looks because we want to feed our babies.
gavel/
I'm guessing the boob-barer is the older sister. And somewhere the old biddy grandmother warned the younger sister "don't be like your sister! that whore!"
I suspect they're both related to the mythical woman who relies entirely and solely on her one pediatrician for all advice about things baby and never ever ever does any of her own research or sees news or goes on the Internet.
Updated September 2012.
And all of those women are eating lobster and steak from their WIC while hanging around their plush Section 8 housing.
Holy God, thank you.
Ok, so maybe you've seen ONE woman in your life who had her boobs hanging out of her shirt everywhere and treated BFing like she was putting on a show.
But that ONE woman doesn't represent the THOUSANDS of women who NIP as discreetly as possible. Breastfeeding doesn't magically turn a normally modest woman into a freak, you know. I don't especially love NIP, but if my baby is hungry I'm going to do what I have to do. I do my best to cover up, but if you're staring at me trying to get a peek at my nipple before it pops into my baby's mouth just so that you can get all offended.....well, you're the freak with a problem, not me.
It's sad that women anywhere feel like they "have" to NIP to make a statement. But maybe they wouldn't feel the need to make a statement if people would get over themselves over a freaking boob. If you're so into modesty, go sit at the mall and shame all the tramps walking around with their asscracks and cleavage hanging out.
DS #1 wouldn't stand to be covered while eating, he'd cry and kick at the blanket (which causes more of a scene than just eating would have). I have a Hooter Hider for DS #2 and he'll use it for now, but I think the darn thing draws even more attention to me than just NIP did, because I have a weird tent thing covering me now. And I'm honestly ashamed at myself for falling victim to the weird obsession that society has with boobs not being used for sex and buying a Hooter Hider. What a stupid waste of $35. But I guess it will make the guy sitting a few tables over from me in the restaurant with his girlfriend in the low cut tank top feel better, because they won't be forced to see anything "offensive".
This. That's about all I have the energy to say about NIP. I've never been flashed by breastfeeding moms in public though I've seen a bunch of them discreetly feeding their spawn.
Thank you for saying exactly what I was trying to say, and in a much more pithy manner to boot! <applause>
Um Huber I've said the same thing... I'm not against NIP, just inappropriate attitudes about it.
I said in my last response to this thread that we would all have to agree to disagree. I am not fighting with anyone about it. I'm just saying that it doesn't make sense TO ME not to cover. I felt more comfortable but some don't. I don't think that makes me an idiot, but alright.
This whole thing got kind of twisted, and like Sailor-- I'm sorry I even posted about it. People can do whatever they want with their breasts, babies and where ever they feel they have to. All I'm saying is to try to cover if you can. I don't think its a crime to ask for some discretion. Some think its awful to ask for that-- ok. We can agree to disagree. Big deal!
I just want to know where you actually see women running around National Geographic style with their boobs hanging out. Most every BFing woman already DOES try to cover up and be discreet, so whining about wanting women to do that just seems like a non-issue and more a problem with NIP than a true problem with covering up. Which is what lots of BFing women take issue with.
ETA: It's like saying that you don't have a problem with gay people, you just wish they'd stop having gay sex everywhere and trying to turn other people gay. What, you mean gay people don't actually do that?
I realize this.
I have only experienced a woman removing the upper portion of her entire top twice. This was at a grocery store in the middle of aisle near the produce section. The second time was at a concert outdoors. Both times I just shrugged and kept walking/shopping. I did have a thought in passing that it is probably best to try to cover for modesty's sake, but she was A-Ok flying free. No one in the store said anything, but there was some embarrassed shuffling.
Granted this is down by Berkley where we have a lot of free spirits, but I have seen it. I realize that most try to be discreet. My complaint was about the militant BF'ers that want to shove BF in folks' faces to make a statement not about the considerate/modest NIP-ers (of which I was one).
I am observing that it is not so much a non-issue.
I have more important things to do than argue about it. So I will leave it there.
I am talking about the BF Sit-Ins, the women who plop down in the middle of a grocery aisle--- those types. 8daysaweek gave a good example of a Militant BF friend of hers that tried to get her to stay at a table in the restaurant when she preferred to go somewhere else that made her more comfortable (as opposed to out in the middle of the restaurant).
The ladies from my BF class have gone so far as to be rude to passers by who just glanced and kept walking. That's when I stopped going to the little get togethers because they would be really vocal about it. So, yeah I've seen it and been around type of NIP-ers. That is what turned me off about lactivists.
I will agree they are in the minority, and you don't run into them on a regular basis, but they do exist. I just disagree is all, and I don't think it makes me an idiot or a bad person to disagree with folks that turn the simple act of feeding a kid into some sort of battle cry.
If I sound ridiculous to say that I object to people using BF as a soapbox then so be it. I'm not wound up about it anymore-- it just frustrated me for the moment. I really do have more important things going on right now. Abby just woke up from her nap so I am going to go tend to her. Its pointless to keep on about it.
On to the next thread...