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welp. that's done
I miscarried. Or am miscarrying. I'm not really sure of the proper terminology.
Went in for a follow up US today. No heartbeat. No growth (or just a day or two- but that's probably a margin of error from one machine to the next, I would guess). My hcg dropped. But since my body isn't responding with cramps or bleeding, I have to get a D&C. He offered to do it tomorrow, but I can't possibly get off work that quick, and P really can't either, so we're going Monday.
I'm a bit sad. This was completely unexpected for me to even BE pregnant, and at first I was so upset by it. But then each day, I would get a little more excited and prepare some more. I started my progesterone, mentally rearranged my house, looked at our budget, asked a friend about daycare, researched my maternity leave, and thought about how fat and miserable I would be this summer.
So anyway. Tomorrow I have to go for a pre-op visit for an EKG and some labs. Then Monday I go for surgery.
The silver lining is that this proves that I can at least get pregnant, which was a bit questionable. And it also gives me a chance to really really get my finances in order before we would make a concerted effort to try. P was asking the OB how soon we can try again. I think he was really looking forward to being a dad. The OB said 2 months, but I say much longer.
And Cali, you said you wished more people put their dirty laundry out, so I guess this counts as my 2012 contribution. Geez, I hope that doesn't sound bitter. It was a half-assed joke.
Re: welp. that's done
Mo, I'm really sorry.
The situation clearly sucks but at least it opened your eyes with you and P as far as your future, your ability to get pregnant and that you do want kids. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
EDIT: I also didn't mean to "at least" the situation in that sense. I hope you didn't take that the wrong way.
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That really sucks. I'm sorry you have to go through all of that.
Although I was actively trying to have babies, it wasn't until I started having miscarriages that I realized how badly I do want to have a family. And my husband was really awesome and sweet and kind and caring through all of it. So, although I wish I never had to deal with any of it, really good things have come from the experiences.
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
Yes, I know what you mean. I told P today that I'm going to miss my nightly back rub. I had a good thing going there
And he was taking out the cat litter- bonus.
Let me just tell you this: Every OB/GYN office should have a separate waiting area for the infertile/miscarriage women. I was only supposed to have an US today, no doctor visit. But then when she couldn't see the heartbeat, I had to go back to the waiting room and sit amongst every happily pregnant woman on the south side of Indy. And all the white trash POS who came with their 3 year olds and yelled at them nonstop. It was horrible. I'm so happy to be home.
Oh, I hear ya, sister. That's why I love going to my RE's office. There are never any pregnant women in there, and everyone I see in the waiting room, I think to myself how much I hope they get a baby soon, too.
11/11/11 = 5 years. Woah!
I'm sorry about your news, but you are so right about this part. I was once waiting for an ultrasound with a young couple who had obviously just received news that their pregnancy was no more. I felt awful for them. I couldn't figure out why they were sent to the waiting room and not to a more private room.
I'm so sorry Mo... been there and it sucks. Also agreed (with above). There is nothing worse that looking big pregnant bellies when you are losing or have lost a pregnancy.
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Aww Mo, thank you for the contribution but I wish it was better news. I'm sorry you ended up miscarrying. Perhaps you can convince P to continue with the nightly backrubs to help you with your sadness.
Now you have to try to be bikini ready for your vacation next month too. Just adding insult to injury. (sorry, weak joke)
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Cali- I know! The pressure! I actually gained 5 lbs this month, which I attributed to having this awful cold and not being able to go to spinning class. So I guess now I haven't got such a great excuse to be so plump.
I am very very glad that I went ahead and booked our Puerto Rico trip. I had a budget freak-out last week and almost cancelled. As in, "Do you know how much DAYCARE costs?? Diapers are $18 for 25 and a baby uses 65 a WEEK!" But now it gives me something to look forward to and to focus on. Just 48 days away.
Aww, Winger. Don't feel so bad. I mean, I'm happy for women who can carry and who parent. But I just was mixed in with a bad crop of trashiness since my hospital (and adjoining dr's office) is in a poor part of town. The poors are always so fertile
Thanks, everyone.
I got Spanky out of daycare a little early so I didn't have to be alone after P went back to work. We're going to lay on the couch and watch Real Housewives of BH, Then I'm going to nap, and then do what I do best when I'm upset- go organize the pantry.
I am so sorry Mo! Enjoy your vacation and good luck when you are ready to start trying again. You should tell P nightly backrubs are good fertility when the time comes.
I am emotional today (pms) and the thought of having to walk back out to a waiting room of pregnant ladies after hearing this news is making me all teary.
I'm so sorry. :-(
But, it's good you tested so early and found out the progesterone could be an issue for you. That way, for next time, you will sort of know the drill. If I hadn't tested that early and had the progesterone, I'm almost certain I would have miscarried. Obviously it doesn't work in all instances, but you at least get a fighting chance with it.