Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Update
Great job and I am glad that you have support and are getting out of there.Of course you still love him, and wish it could be different. But think of what he has done to YOU?
Letting a friend rape you > you walking out
You are a loving, committed woman- which are honestly wonderful traits as a wife and person. Just remember though that the husband also has to have traits that lead of a kind, loving marriage. He does not.
And not telling him? Pure safety for you.
Thank you for updating us.
You are a very strong, brave and wise woman by choosing to tell your sister and to leave.
I also recomment counseling. Sometimes it just helps to talk to a professional unbiased third party about your thoughts and feelings. I went to counseling for grief and it was one of the healthiest decisions I have made. Having someone to talk to about everything I was feeling was such an emotional relief. I now recommend it to everyone. I am so thankful I had to courage to know that I wasn't handling my grief well and needed someone to talk to besides friends and family. Please please do the same for yourself. I promise you will not regret it.
I also recommend printing out this thread and showing your sister / parents. It might help them too.
It took a lot of guts for you to call and reach out to your family. And they responded with love and care, the same as we all thought. And I'm so proud of you for leaving him. I know you say you love him... but what is there to love about him? This man told his friend to rape you??? How is that loving to you? How is that treating you well and respecting his marriage vows? It isn't. He isn't the guy you thought you married. He is a monster... he isn't worthy of your love. I know it doesn't make sense now, but I hope it will soon.
Take care of yourself and just know that if you ever need more support, just post and ask. We are all behind you.
You are doing the right thing by leaving and you shouldnt feel bad for leaving. He doesnt deserve you and you need to work on yourself and become a strong individual.
I wish you luck.
Thank you for updating. You are, without a doubt, making the right choice. I am so happy to see how quickly and positively your family reacted, although I had no doubt that they would. Talk to your sister and let her talk to your parents if that's easier. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Please get into counseling ASAP so that you can have some effective coping measures when your husband finds out that you've left. I'd dump the cell phone he knows the number to or switch the number too.
Also, you might want to read The Gift of Fear.