Relationships
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Hi.
Another natural blonde is Katy Perry, and I think she looks terrible blond, and like perfection brunette. Same for Zooey Deschanel (though I don't think she's a natural blond)
Yeah, it's the look of the overly blonde, overly bronzed. The dress was pretty though.
What's her butt, on project runway, the young one with the mopheads? Her blonde looks almost silver this season. She looks terrible.
I'm debating posting a long ramble about my BFF. Is anyone bored enough?
April?
My H is playing Zelda, so yes.
April, yes. That's her. Stupid cut out black weirdo stupid dress April. Her hair looks awful.
I may delete this later. I don't think she ever comes here, but she knows I come here (or somewhere). My bff broke up with her boyfriend of six or seven (or some other longish time) years while I was pregnant with Will. So this was, like, four years ago. She's been dating someone else for about three years. He treats her really well, they're pretty much perfect for each other, neither wants to get married/have kids, so it's a good match. But she's still SO ANGRY about the ex. I'm not super close to him or anything, but we're facebook friends and he and Lorne are pretty good friends. BFF FB dumped me after she saw me write a message to him wishing him well at his wedding last year and apologizing for not being able to make it. I didn't realize it until she refriended me and explained (I just figured she was too busy for FB, that's why I didn't see her on). She was just ridding herself of anyone who was still friends with him, including me, apparently, which is probably why she wasn't returning my phone calls for a few months.
Anyway, recently she made a comment on one of my posts (which she deleted the next morning, and I only saw because I was up in the middle of the night working) where she kind of went off the rails about the ex and having an affair with the ex's best friend and being very angry about everything, and I was like...WTF. Only me and one other person know about the affair. But the ex, her current boyfriend, my mom, her mom, our group (well, her former group) of friends - they could have all seen it on FB, none of them know about it.
So I don't know what she was thinking at all. I feel like I should talk to her about it, but I don't know what to say. Dude, get over it? I don't know. It seems like four years is a long time to still be angry about it. Yes, he was a jerk to you. Yes, he sold the house you bought together for less than he probably could have gotten and screwed you out of some equity. But it's been four years. You're happy with your boyfriend, you have a good life, a new place, everything is good. She's just way hung up on the fact that the ex knocked up and married the first girl he started dating after her. And I get why that would be hard to deal with, but it's been four years and she doesn't see him anymore and cut out everyone else (except for the ex's best friend, weirdly) that is friends with him. So why is she still talking about it every time I see her and every time we talk and on FB and...WHY?
Anyway. Who wants to advise me? Do I tell her to get her butt into therapy again? Leave it alone and not touch it with a 39.5 foot pole? Blarg. She's so hardheaded about everything lately. She's been giving me shiit about weird things (like Christmas cards with a picture of the kids on them (which I still haven't sent out yet...)) and just won't back down when I'm like, "Dude, you're being unreasonable and weird about this." "No! You've become a stepford wife!" ?? Having a family and liking your kids makes you some sort of zombie wife no fun kid-obsessed drone or something. So her general state of mind makes me think she's going to dump me for awhile if I tell her she needs therapy. I don't want to deal with it, but I feel like I'm being a shiitty friend if I don't bring it up.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Not knowing her at all, it doesn't sound like she is happy with the current bf. It sounds like she's still hung up on the ex. It also sounds like she's jealous of marriage and kids.
I don't know if I'd confront her. I might try to approach her by saying, "I love you and have noticed that you haven't seemed your usual happy self. Is there anything that's bothering you or making you unhappy? I'm here for you."
Vicki, I met most of my awesome friends that I love through a community org and volunteering. And well-timed drunkenness.
80's yes but way more bad boy John Bender than 98 Degrees
It's so weird. She's never wanted kids, so I think it's more that she feels the need to lash out at people with families because she feels that society (and her mother, and the ex, before they broke up) is judging her for not wanting kids. And I've never said anything to her about her having kids, or wanting kids, or "you'll change your mind," or anything like that, but I guess me having kids made me less accessible and made things change, so maybe that's part of it? I don't know. The childless complex drives me up the wall almost as much as the stuff about the ex.
It's also hard because she lives in Seattle and I only see her a few times a year, so i don't know if she's saving up all the ex stuff for when we can talk in person, or if it's really still as much in the forefront of her mind as it seems. But I suppose that next time it comes up I should bite the bullet and talk with her about it. Something like, "The last several times we've spent time together and talked, you've talked a lot about the ex, and I'm worried that he's still so much on your mind when you've been apart for so long," and see where that goes? Or maybe the Fallin approach, depending on how the next conversation goes.
Noisy- id feel the need to say something but that's me. Just even something along the lines of Hey- what's going on with you? You ok? I saw that post you deleted because I was awake working. Yes, I know you deleted but you did put it out there. I'm worried about you because it just seems like you're really angry still about Mr X. I thought all that stuff was in the past but clearly it's not. So what's going on?
Maybe if you pose it in a way that's non-judgemental and worried she won't be so hardheaded or defensive.
There shouldn't be much ex stuff to save, though, after all this time, unless she was still unhealthily hung up. At this point, the most it should be is "Still hate him?" "Yup." "Okay."
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
I'd probably do this.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
I'm now concerned my hair is too blonde like Amy Poehler. Be honest people.
No I like your hair!
Okla, I've never thought your hair was too whitey blonde. Unless you've changed it recently, I thought it was more golden. I like your hair.
I meant to congratulate you on this earlier, but I was too busy dying of pizza deprivation. That is pretty spectacular! 5 miles!
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Whoa Noisy. I remember her and her stupid FB post sharting all over your Christmas card fun. I feel that she does not deserve to be your bff.
Holy crap, Christin, five miles?! That's insane.
But the F in BFF means forever, Jens. FOREVER.
I am also in awe of a five mile run. I'm thinking of starting to run with Evie when Will is in preschool. This means I should probably pull the jogging stroller out of the giant scary closet.
Noisy, that's pretty intense. I would go with TSD or fallin's suggestions but also realize that she may delete you again from fb and her life if she is this angry about it still. It sounds like it doesn't take anything to set her off on this topic. <p></p> as many of you know I have been going to a DBT therapy group for a while. I go Tuesday nights. It's been amazing. Anyway I have made a couple of friends in there. One of them od'd Tuesday night at group. She took
A bunch of stuff right before. I knew she was in our therapists office during the group but last night she messaged me on WWF to tell me she is hospitalized against her will. She wants to go to inpatient tratment but they won't release her. I'm confident she's getting help I'm just sad for her and I hate the whole situation.
I just shrieked! So true, made no sense.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse