Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Update...

Hi guys, I just wanted to thank everyone who responded to my original post.  I moved back to my parents' house last Friday, and I'm feeling wonderful about it.  H left me 1 voicemail as soon as he realized I was gone (which was him annoyed demanding that I call him back, which I didn't).  Haven't heard from him since, which is perfect.  I'm planning on sending him a text after a week to tell him that he has one month to get his car/phone off my plans, and that if he doesn't sign the divorce paperwork I'm getting a lawyer for spousal support.

It was really such a relief to get out of there, and I have everyone who responded to my original post to thank for it.  Seeing 40 complete strangers telling me that the situation really was ridiculous and that I wasn't just overreacting really gave me the confidence to leave.  Thank you all!

Re: Update...

  • I don't remember your story, but good job! Stay strong.
  • im so glad you got out!

    good for you....leaving is always the scarey part....



  • Good for you! He and his mother should be very happy, they are so creepy! I'm glad you did not waste any more time and starting your new life. Did you get a lawyer?
  • Good for you!
    image "Evolutionary game theorists...ignoring beebees on the nest since 2005"
  • imagecalle28:
    I don't remember your story, but good job! Stay strong.

    http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61681839.aspx

    She's the one with the creepy MIL who gave her H (MIL's son) a sensual backrub at their engagement party, clips his toenails when he comes to visit, and encourages OP to become a prostitute.

    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • Thank you!

    Side note:  not sure why there are links in my post, I didn't put them there...sorry about that.

  • imagezitiqueen:

    imagecalle28:
    I don't remember your story, but good job! Stay strong.

    http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/61681839.aspx

    She's the one with the creepy MIL who gave her H (MIL's son) a sensual backrub at their engagement party, clips his toenails when he comes to visit, and encourages OP to become a prostitute.

    Thanks, my nest memory sucks. 

    How could I forget that his mom cut his toenails?? Ick!

    OP - Have you heard back from the job? You have a great head on your shoulders. Keep up the good work and stay focused on you and your bright future without that mama's boy!

  • Good for you! You deserve better :) Stay strong, and know that you are doing the right thing.
  • Good for you!
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  • I haven't gotten a lawyer yet, because money's really tight and I'm hoping I won't have to.  In NH (where we were living/he still does) we could (if he cooperates) file jointly, pay one fee, and get the whole thing over with without paying for lawyers, since we don't have any kids or shared property.  I'm hoping he'll just agree to do that, because otherwise I'll have to wait to file until I can save up enough money for a lawyer, plus I'll have to deal with getting divorced from one state to someone who lives in another.

    I didn't get that job I applied to, but that actually worked out since that job was by him.  That freed me up to move back home and try to find a job here, which is what I've been working on since right before I left.  At least here I have family with a lot of connections, so hopefully something will go through soon.  And I have a grad school interview this Friday near where I'm living now, so hopefully I'll get accepted there soon :).  The money thing is the most stressful part of this whole situation, but my parents are helping me out at the moment and I'm optimistic about getting a job soon.

    The weird thing is that I'm really not upset at all about leaving.  Even though I knew it was the right thing to do, I expected to have some second thoughts/really bad days, and I haven't had any of that.  It feels like the whole thing happened months ago already.  For anyone who's gone through this before...is that normal?  Should I expect to get hit by the doubts sometime soon?  I'm just kind of amazed at how easy the transition has been.  If I had known it would be this (emotionally) easy, I would've left a long time ago!

  • Good for you! I'm glad you are doing so well.
    I agree with everything that muddled said. You should listen to her. -ESDReturns
  • imageAlyssa228:

    I haven't gotten a lawyer yet, because money's really tight and I'm hoping I won't have to.  In NH (where we were living/he still does) we could (if he cooperates) file jointly, pay one fee, and get the whole thing over with without paying for lawyers, since we don't have any kids or shared property.  I'm hoping he'll just agree to do that, because otherwise I'll have to wait to file until I can save up enough money for a lawyer, plus I'll have to deal with getting divorced from one state to someone who lives in another.

    I didn't get that job I applied to, but that actually worked out since that job was by him.  That freed me up to move back home and try to find a job here, which is what I've been working on since right before I left.  At least here I have family with a lot of connections, so hopefully something will go through soon.  And I have a grad school interview this Friday near where I'm living now, so hopefully I'll get accepted there soon :).  The money thing is the most stressful part of this whole situation, but my parents are helping me out at the moment and I'm optimistic about getting a job soon.

    The weird thing is that I'm really not upset at all about leaving.  Even though I knew it was the right thing to do, I expected to have some second thoughts/really bad days, and I haven't had any of that.  It feels like the whole thing happened months ago already.  For anyone who's gone through this before...is that normal?  Should I expect to get hit by the doubts sometime soon?  I'm just kind of amazed at how easy the transition has been.  If I had known it would be this (emotionally) easy, I would've left a long time ago!

    You should check into the bar associations in your area. They could maybe find you a legal clinic or pro bono representation so you can ensure that you have representation on this issue. I think getting someone to represent you in case things get contentious is the best course of action you can take. However, a legal clinic could best inform you of the options available to you at this time.

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  • I'm currently separated and new to the whole process, but I think it's normal that you're feeling good right now. But be prepared to have some bad days too and have doubts. I think it's totally normal to second guess a major decision like divorce, those doubts don't mean that you're wrong though!
  • Good for you. Stay safe!
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  • Rock on, girl!  Good luck.
    What you think, you will become.
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