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Sometimes I think I'm weird
When I found out about XH's girlfriend, I didn't much care. Not in the "oh that's OK, we can still be together" way, but in the "ehhh, what else is new" way. It's not like I felt like I deserved it (believe me, you don't foock with me and get away with it) or that it wasn't a Big Deal.
I mean, I was pretty torn up over the fact that he treated me so badly, but I always centered my feelings on him. Hurt that someone I had loved didn't love me back, pain that I had been so wrong about him, angry that he was a giant flaming azzhole that couldn't handle anything in a mature fashion. And, yeah, I turned a lot of those emotions inward (obviously something must be wrong with me and/or my judgment, etc.). But I never thought he cheated on me because another woman "made" him. Even today, the infidelity itself is far down on my list of reasons why I divorced him. If it had been the only thing wrong, maybe it would have made more of an impression on me.
I know I'm rambling, but I see so many posts that are full of such anger towards the OW and I can't relate. I feel nothing - no anger, no contempt, not even curiosity. And, sometimes, that makes me feel like I'm some weird robot-person.
ETA: TN edited out f-v-c-k. Hmmm.
Re: Sometimes I think I'm weird
Sometimes we ALL think you're weird.
This isn't one of those times.
HA! Thanks Kuus. I think.
It seems like you also had a lot more maturity and level headedness about the whole thing whereas a lot of these women are in denial.
This. I think when you've already come to terms with the fact that your SO is an ass, it's easier to focus your anger on him. When you still love/want him/want to save your relationship, it's easier to be angry with and blame someone else, even if it's just partially. Takes some of the sting out of it or something maybe?
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Same here. I've been cheated on by a few ex-bfs. The doods deserved the full brunt of my fury and I let them have it. I found out they stuck their diick in someone else's vag and they were out the door. No apologies, no excuses, no second chances.
All of the OW knew about me, but I couldn't get upset at them. My BFs were the ones who flucked up. I wasn't in a relationship with the OW so they didn't owe me anything.
I was always caught off guard too. I swear, my radar was severely broken when I was dating.
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