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WWRED?
SO I was just stopped by a coworker that feels pressured and not sure what to do.
She is an itinerant teacher for deaf children and has been assigned to service a student who attends a private school. This is pretty common. She has seen this student before he entered school, in the home, has a relationship with him and the family.
The student now attends a Muslim private school.
She is being required by the school to wear long sleeves (no big deal to her) and a head scarf (this is where she is uncomfortable).
The school will not allow her on campus otherwise and therefore she would not be able to service the student.
Re: WWRED?
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
A headscarf a la Carrie on Homeland? I'd probably wear it. A burka? I don't know.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Just a scarf. Other people servicing the child from the district are doing it.
Her objection is more related to the fact that it is due to a religious belief that she does not share. Although I do wonder if she would have the same objection if she was being asked to wear a rosary at a Catholic school.
SHe is being told to fall in line by her supervisor. That is the biggest issue for me. Regardless of her reasoning, I think she should have a right to reject something that she feels conflicts with her religious beliefs. And, we are a public entity. So, I don't see how she can be made to do this or be written up.
Well, that should go without saying! I just don't understand Winged's question here. What would we, personally, do? What should she say to the CW? What is it? WHAT IS THE QUESTION??
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Overall just trying to get conversation going. But I realize I didn't really clarify. I tried to more in the second one. I mean, what would you do personally or what are your thoughts.
I told the CW that I could not be the decider for her.
This is what would make me mad. And probably is toeing some sort of legal line (I'm assuming--lawyers?). To me, this is a religious situation. She doesn't feel comfortable because she doesn't share the same belief and therefore she shouldn't be forced to act as those that do follow the belief do. The fact that her supervisor is trying to make her do this would rile me up.
"Once I got a bath bomb that, once exploded, filled the tub with confetti. Little sharp metallic pieces of confetti. The product description said nothing about confetti. Oh look, there's a tiny, sharp metallic blue star stabbing me in the labia. HOW RELAXING. " - NoisyPenguin
I'd do it, the same way I'd cover my head in some Jewish services or my shoulders at some Catholic ones. Especially to help this kid.
Is she being given the option to not work with this child anymore? I know it's not ideal, but if she's being given that option, I don't know what legal recourse she'd have.
I'd do it even if it wasn't required because I imagine I'd feel even more uncomfortable walking around the school, being the only one with my head uncovered.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
See and that is what i am thinking. I think there is more defiance about it because it happens to be a Muslim school.
Yes. It's not saying you are subscribing to their belief. It's not as though she's being asked to pray to Allah. It's just a show of respect to their customs.
I don't think it's a big deal. I covered my knees and shoulders in St. Peter's and my very Lutheran dad wore a yarmulke in a synagogue for a bat mitzvah. I think it's a sign of respect.
Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
Does she subscribe to the "all Muslims are evil terrorists" school of thought?
Putting a scarf on her head doesn't make her any less Catholic (or whatever she is.)
Yeah, can she choose not to work with the child?
Also, can she articulate how wearing a scarf is against her own beliefs? I'm confused as to why she's ok with being requiring to wear sleeves, but not head covering.
Yes. Wearing a scarf isn't contrary to the beliefs of any religion that I know of.
I have to rush out, but wanted to respond.
I don't read her as a Muslim=terrorist person, but I don't know her that well.
I think you could refuse to work with a student as an individual, sure. I guess. I mean, you could not say the whole district won't serve her, but as just one person, maybe. Although it may bring you to be written up.
Her offer is she wants to see the student in the home or at the home public school. But she is told the parents could charge for transportation.
I was going to mention a very similar example. My friend's husband (Mormon) made a big deal and was quite the crybaby about it at our other friend's wedding. I felt it was totally inappropriate. After we talked all sorts of $hit about him after the fact, my husband said that he was more than happy to be included in this tradition by wearing it.
I would wear the scarf. I wouldn't have any issue at all with it. It actually kind of rubs me the wrong way that it would be so offensive for her to do it. And, it seems sad that it would impact her existing relationship with the boy.
All this over a headscarf? There's gotta be something more to it. Either she likes to play the martyr or she's of the persuasion that thinks Muslim=terrorist or something.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
That's kind of an a-holey burden to put on the child, especially since she can't explain why she objects to the rule (or half of the rule).
I'm with Fallin. They're not asking her to do something religious, like take part in a ceremony or trying to convert her. I liken it to putting a yarmulke on in a synogogue. I get the whole not wanting to be pressured thing, but I don't think it was something to feel pressured about in the first place. Granted, no one is kicking you out of any synogogue I know of if you choose not to wear a yarmulke but it's just something you do which doesn't make someone any less any other religion by wearing it.
This is what would bother me the most.
I do not consider myself religious; and while I do not like practices that are specific to only women (like forcing them to cover their hair and bare arms), I would not want to be fired over it. I'd also feel an obligation to the kid, and I would put the scarf on for that reason.
no kidding. reminds me - It's not the same thing, but I once visited a, um, relative in a Federal Penitentiary in South Georgia in August, who was on his death bed and the prison official told me on the phone beforehand that I was to dress as modestly as possibly, no perfume and try not to wear makeup. I was all, what?!?!?!, I wear what I want! But I showed up in long sleeves and a long skirt, no make-up and hair pulled up - sweating bullets. The advise was good though- there were prisoners in the infirmary not on their deathbed and they were hanging by their glass cell windows ogling me like I was a t-bone steak. **shivers**
See this is just interesting for me to read, this is what I was hoping for.
I mean, I don't know. Sometimes it is hard when I am closer to a situation (at my workplace, with friends, etc) to formulate a solid opinion on something. Something within me wants to argue all sides to myself.
And I feel like I have factors affecting that.
Like, i like this person well enough from our interaction even though I think her stance gives off this anti-Muslim stance. But that's hard for me to believe she would be that way, but it's not like we ever discuss anything personal. We only talk work stuff.
And then I feel like with my experience with my supervisors and such being such asshats that I hate the thought that she is being forced to do something she is not comfortable with. And yeah, she could not work with the child. That's the thing, if she doesn't, she is going to be written up. So that's where I have a problem. And maybe that's why she is so upset.
But I think there has to be something deeper. Especially since the long sleeves thing didnt bother her but the head scarf does. And I think it's because anyone would wear long sleeves but only someone who is Muslim would wear the scarf. So that is what makes me think she has a problem with Muslim people.
Personally, I would wear the scarf.