Trouble in Paradise
ReturnOfKuus
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
For posterity (a ML post)
bethanyhar...
Joined on 05-16-2011
57 Points
husband lived with parents until marriage (now moved back)?
I wanted to know if anyone out
there is in my position. My husband is 41 and lived at home until we
were married this past July. I haven't ever gotten a straight answer as
to how long, but he lived there for at least 5 years, a couple years
after grad school. He's had a job before, can't get an answer as to
exactly when, but for the past three years all he's done is walk dogs
for extra cash. He's still on his parents' cell phone plan. I'm a
mid-thirties professional and I've been self-sufficient since 17 and I
am having tons of problems adjusting to married life. He goes home to
his parents every day, and when we fight, he goes and stays in his old
bedroom at his parents. He doesn't seem to have any drive. I love him,
but I'm starting to realize I don't respect him as a person. We watched a
movie on-demand last night, but he initially said we should wait until
this weekend so we can see if for 'free' at his parents. It's free for
him either way, since I pay for all the bills in the apartment. Is
anyone in the same boat?
Re: For posterity (a ML post)
My favorite response:
I agree with the PPs that say you shouldn't have married him. You definitely should not have married him if he was unwilling to tell you specifics of his life.
However, I don't agree with just cutting and running. You made the adult decision to get married and now you need to at least try to deal with it. I think you need to sit down with him and have a serious discussion. Personally, I would want to know the reason that he is falling back on his parents for support. Is it because he's lazy and unwilling to change? Or did something happen earlier in life? My husband sometimes has issues with telling the whole truth. This is because of things that happened earlier in life for him. We are working through it. But I don't just let him slide. I think you need to confront him and tell him much of what you've told us.
Good luck!
Not getting a straight answer on your husband's employment history is a sparkly-red flag set on fire. Plus, ya know, all the other stuff.
How the foock did this guy make it to Date 2? Are people really that desperate (rhetorical question)?
Yep. I knew exactly which post it would be before I even opened this. I'm with you - how did she ever even go out on a second date with this guy?!
SMH
That cements it, I'm gonna start lurking ML for the trainwrecks.
I'd guarentee you that she hit 30 and was like "Crap, I'm not married and have no prospects.... I HAVE to get married!!!!" and this guy came along and she grabbed him up...
Desperation makes people overlook the obvious.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
That was my favorite too!
You made a bad decision, but you made your bed and now you must deal with it.
For serious. I mean, if she can't get any "straight" answers about anything, how can you trust anything the guy says?
Yes it's automatic. If I post over there I get the same avatar and I am definitely not pregnant nor would I change my avatar to indicate that I am.