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Confessions, Vents, etc.

Leave 'em here. Thread started 'cause I have one, of course.

 

I posted a link on FB to this HuffPo article about Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka and just said that it "gives me a happy". I love NPH, I love their love for each other, I think the photos are beautiful, and I think the interview is great. 

The first comment I received on the link is from my Mom's cousin (in her 60s) saying "I guess I'm old. This gives me the creeps. I like Harris a lot and happy he's happy in love, but I'm just not ready to embrace photos."

In the interest of family harmony I simply responded with "That makes me very, very sad," and didn't go into it, but comments like that just make me want to reach through the computer and shake the person on the other side. 

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Re: Confessions, Vents, etc.

  • I have one good, one bad.

    The first is we lost Ava's bunny at the mall on Monday. He is her favorite, she never goes to sleep without him and is always by her side. The Disney Store called us last night and said they found him! She is going to be so happy when we get him tonight.

    DH and I are going through a really rough patch.  Being really upset this morning, I took my rings off and gave them to him. That was probably immature but I was really upset and wanted to make a point to him just how upset I was. I hope things get better.

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  • That's terrible Dani. I wish people like that would just leave their comments to themselves.

    Mine is I'm just sick and tired of work and working on the house every night and every second of each weekend. It's been almost 5 weeks and I'm burnt out. I wish I could take some time off work but unfortunately it's our busy time and we're not allowed to take off.  Oh and I have to go to an engagement party this weekend all the way in Baltimore County and I have to make food for it as well. Not sure where the time for that will come from.

  • imageidonthavethis:

    The first is we lost Ava's bunny at the mall on Monday. He is her favorite, she never goes to sleep without him and is always by her side. The Disney Store called us last night and said they found him! She is going to be so happy when we get him tonight.

    That's great! I saw your FB posts about losing it and was hoping you'd get it back. 

    imageidonthavethis:
     

    DH and I are going through a really rough patch.  Being really upset this morning, I took my rings off and gave them to him. That was probably immature but I was really upset and wanted to make a point to him just how upset I was. I hope things get better.

    I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope it's a short-lived rough patch and you guys are back on even ground soon. 

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  • imagegracie2762:

    That's terrible Dani. I wish people like that would just leave their comments to themselves.

    So do I. 

    I'm waiting for someone on my friends list to say something in response.

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  • imageLoveLossHopeRepeat:

    Leave 'em here. Thread started 'cause I have one, of course.

     

    I posted a link on FB to this HuffPo article about Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka and just said that it "gives me a happy". I love NPH, I love their love for each other, I think the photos are beautiful, and I think the interview is great. 

    The first comment I received on the link is from my Mom's cousin (in her 60s) saying "I guess I'm old. This gives me the creeps. I like Harris a lot and happy he's happy in love, but I'm just not ready to embrace photos."

    In the interest of family harmony I simply responded with "That makes me very, very sad," and didn't go into it, but comments like that just make me want to reach through the computer and shake the person on the other side. 

     I have a close friend that is gay.  Her mothers "accepts" their marriage but won't visit at their house because seeing the photos "makes it real".   Very upsetting. 

     

    My confession/vent:  I posted this on FB but will post here too.  I was in the waiting room at BWMC last night and saw a young girl, roughly 8 years old that was every bit of 150lbs. Her Dad gave her money for candy and soda, which she clearly didn't need.  She was wearing a skin tight shirt, mini skirt, and stripper heels.   8 years old.  I felt bad for the girl and judge the hell put of her parents.  For the outfit and her weight.   It was disturbing on so many levels.  I'm overweight and I'm working on it but I refuse to let my future children become obese.  

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  • Oh of course I have some!

    (whine) Having two kids this young and both of us working full time is HARD.  From the second I get home in the evenings I am either chasing, bathing, nursing, cleaning up after, or putting them to bed. I don't sit down until about 9:30 or 10 and then its just to have a cup of tea and veg out for 30 minutes or so before I go to bed. DS#1 wont go to bed now without me laying down with him until he falls asleep....this can take up to an hour, and the whole time I am laying there I am getting really irritated thinking about all the stuff I need to be doing and wondering why he was able to put himself to sleep for so long and he is incapable of it now. I cant wait for the weekends but then being home with them all weekend long is not relaxing at all. Don't get me wrong I love them both, so so much, and I knew this was coming, but just OMG.

    I want to slap people when they ask us if we are trying for a girl next. As if our family wouldn't be complete without having a girl. I happen to like having two little boys and I am perfectly content with that.

    Also, politically speaking, I am getting really sick of all the emphasis on Mitt Romney being a mormon. Who the F cares what religion the president is? Is that going to affect his ability to perform the job correctly?  I just can't fathom that there are people out there who could potentially not vote for someone because they are a different religion than that person is.

    I have a family member who keeps posting dumb crap on FB about all these natural health issues, and they will post some asinine statement like "I will never get a vaccine....they are full of toxins and are the government's way of keeping us sick!" Yet this person has no issue with sucking down a pack of smokes per day. :::throatpunch::::: 

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  • My vent is that I have absolutely NO freelance work right now. It's like this every January, but it's so frustrating -- every avenue has dried up. Luckily, freelance money is just play/extra money for me (I have a full-time writing job), but I really like that extra money. I've been doing so well the past few months that I've almost come to rely on it for everything that I want to do for myself, i.e. shopping, going out to lunch, etc. (my husband and I have an agreement that anything I make from freelance goes into my account and anything he sells on Ebay goes into his account) Until something comes up, I'm going to have to cut back on all that little stuff. 
  • imageidonthavethis:

    DH and I are going through a really rough patch.  Being really upset this morning, I took my rings off and gave them to him. That was probably immature but I was really upset and wanted to make a point to him just how upset I was. I hope things get better.

    I'm really sorry! I hope you guys can talk and work things out soon. I know it is tough. DH and I want to strangle each other some days.

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  • imagemrs. remy:

    Also, politically speaking, I am getting really sick of all the emphasis on Mitt Romney being a mormon. Who the F cares what religion the president is? Is that going to affect his ability to perform the job correctly?  I just can't fathom that there are people out there who could potentially not vote for someone because they are a different religion than that person is.


    Amen, sister. This is why I have such beef with our political system. Vote on the issues, people. Not a candidate's political party association. Not on their religious affiliations. Vote for what they're actually going to do for us. Because whoever the president prays to at night is not going to change our economy and our future. And just because someone is a Republican does not mean they're a staunch conservative and vice versa.

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  • I am really starting to hate Facebook.  People annoy me on it for no fault of their own really, I spend too much time on it for no real reason, etc.  I'm starting to get less and less out of it if that makes sense considering how much time I waste on it.  The people I tend to really want to communicate with don't use Facebook that much anyway. 

    and yet I can't walk away bc I'm afraid i'll miss something exciting that happens.  ::hangs head in shame::

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  • Confession/Vent: I stayed at work last night until 6:30 and then when I got home, I took a sleeping pill last night because I didn't feel like dealing with DH.  After fighting to get his job back in November (because of medical reasons), he's now missed 2 weeks of work again.  I'm sick and effing tired of it.  I understand that his disease makes him go through funks and he's going to have his ups and downs, but he doesn't even effing try to push through it and see how he will do.  For example, over the weekend we had a great time, he felt good and I knew he was fine.  Tuesday morning rolls around and he's "sick".  He hates his job but doesn't look for anything else while he's home wallowing.  And he doesn't fully understand the stress it puts on me when he doesn't work.  I have had to give up so much when his income wasn't coming in and despite having conversations about it, he just doesn't get it.  I'm tired of living this way and it makes me not want to be around him or interact with him.  I think his meds are working just fine but I think he uses his disease as a crutch. 

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  • imageidonthavethis:

    DH and I are going through a really rough patch.  Being really upset this morning, I took my rings off and gave them to him. That was probably immature but I was really upset and wanted to make a point to him just how upset I was. I hope things get better.

    We've been there/are there.  Sometimes I feel like we're alone in the situation (our friends marriages/relationships seem so perfect) but then I realize behind closed doors, every couple has their issues.  Hang in there.

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  • I took my wedding rings off mid-pregnancy when my fingers started to swell and I bought cheap fake ones to wear instead. Now that I'm not pregnant anymore and I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight, my rings still don't fit me. The dent in my finger that was making them fit before is gone now. I have finally decided to suck it up and get them resized because I want to wear my rings, damnit.

    DH hasn't worn his ring in months. He's just not much of a jewelry person, but I wish he would wear it everyday because it's important to me. But I can't tell him to because I'm a big fat hypocrit because I don't wear my real rings right now and I often forget to put my fake ones on.
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  • imagemrs. remy:

    I want to slap people when they ask us if we are trying for a girl next. As if our family wouldn't be complete without having a girl. I happen to like having two little boys and I am perfectly content with that. 

    I could of written this vent. DH and I are done after this next baby. I hate that my family thinks I need a little boy to make my life complete. I don't. 

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  • I'll do a vent - It really makes me mad when DH doesn't more housework - like very minor/obvious stuff - put the glass in the dishwasher, hang up the pot holders, etc.  When I've tried to address it in the past, it just becomes a huge fight and its not worth it.  I realize he just doesn't SEE these things and hence doesn't even realize they need to be/should be addressed and when I point them out, he then points out some other huge thing he does do, that I don't even notice, etc. and it becomes this not pretty tit for tat and we both end up feeling shitty.  But seriously dude - how do you not see the glass or the random paperclip in the middle of the floor???
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  • imageKathrynMD:
    I'll do a vent - It really makes me mad when DH doesn't more housework - like very minor/obvious stuff - put the glass in the dishwasher, hang up the pot holders, etc.  When I've tried to address it in the past, it just becomes a huge fight and its not worth it.  I realize he just doesn't SEE these things and hence doesn't even realize they need to be/should be addressed and when I point them out, he then points out some other huge thing he does do, that I don't even notice, etc. and it becomes this not pretty tit for tat and we both end up feeling shitty.  But seriously dude - how do you not see the glass or the random paperclip in the middle of the floor???
    See, I'm a lot like your DH. My DH is much more tidy than I am. He hates when dishes are in the sink and will do dished after every meal/snack while I would rather just put what needs to go in the dishwasher there (and sometimes *gasp* I will leave a glass on the counter for 2 hours) and then do all the hand-wash dishes at the end of the day, but he doesn't see it that way. I will eventually do it, but it's not done right away, like he would want it done. it's caused a few major fights with us, I just don't "see" things the same way he does, and he has a hard time accepting that. Confession-I've "faked it" a few times in the last month because I just really wasn't in the mood. But DH was, and I'm really hoping to get KU so I just kind of pretended to be into it when my mind was elsewhere, but DH really likes it when we both "get our cookies." I think it makes him feel accomplished :)
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  • imageKathrynMD:
    I'll do a vent - It really makes me mad when DH doesn't more housework - like very minor/obvious stuff - put the glass in the dishwasher, hang up the pot holders, etc.  When I've tried to address it in the past, it just becomes a huge fight and its not worth it.  I realize he just doesn't SEE these things and hence doesn't even realize they need to be/should be addressed and when I point them out, he then points out some other huge thing he does do, that I don't even notice, etc. and it becomes this not pretty tit for tat and we both end up feeling shitty.  But seriously dude - how do you not see the glass or the random paperclip in the middle of the floor???
    See, I'm a lot like your DH. My DH is much more tidy than

     I am. He hates when dishes are in the sink and will do dished after every meal/snack while I would rather just put what needs to go in the dishwasher there (and sometimes *gasp* I will leave a glass on the counter for 2 hours) and then do all the hand-wash dishes at the end of the day, but he doesn't see it that way. I will eventually do it, but it's not done right away, like he would want it done. it's caused a few major fights with us, I just don't "see" things the same way he does, and he has a hard time accepting that.

    Confession-I've "faked it" a few times in the last month because I just really wasn't in the mood. But DH was, and I'm really hoping to get KU so I just kind of pretended to be into it when my mind was elsewhere, but DH really likes it when we both "get our cookies." I think it makes him feel accomplished Stick out tongue

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  • I have no idea why there is a dup post?

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  • I made it a goal to bring less stuff into our house that's made in China and Christmas was a huge wake up call.  In my mind, I meant home goods type stuff, but then I saw that almost every single thing I got for Christmas was made in China. 

    I'm getting really tired of emailing different companies and asking, "where is this product manufactured?" At the same time I'm really frustrated with some companies.  Seriously Restoration Hardware, you're stuff is ridiculously expensive? Why is most of it made in China? The thing that killed me the most was a reclaimed pine wood table from William & Sonoma that's made in China.  I thought the intention of using reclaimed wood was to use the reclaimed wood from here? So did WS ship the wood over to China, have the table built and then sent it back here?

    How DH puts up with me I'll never truly understand. The dude is a saint. 

  • imageKathrynMD:
    I'll do a vent - It really makes me mad when DH doesn't more housework - like very minor/obvious stuff - put the glass in the dishwasher, hang up the pot holders, etc.  When I've tried to address it in the past, it just becomes a huge fight and its not worth it.  I realize he just doesn't SEE these things and hence doesn't even realize they need to be/should be addressed and when I point them out, he then points out some other huge thing he does do, that I don't even notice, etc. and it becomes this not pretty tit for tat and we both end up feeling shitty.  But seriously dude - how do you not see the glass or the random paperclip in the middle of the floor???


    Oh my goodness, I could have written this post. It drives me crazy that I come home and make dinner, then clean the kitchen, and do all this stuff and he's on the couch all evening. If I ask him to do something, he'll do it, which is nice, but how does he not SEE that the floor needs to be swept or vacuumed, etc.? 

  • most days, 99% of the reasoning behind me getting to the gym is that i can take an uninterrupted shower there after my workout...it will last longer than 5 minutes and i *might* even shave my legs.
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  • imageCooper81:

    I have no idea why there is a dup post?

    Because that is one of the best confessions ever!  

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  • imagedaisyterp:
    imageCooper81:

    I have no idea why there is a dup post?

    Because that is one of the best confessions ever!  

    Ha, thanks! Had to get that on off my chest
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  • I am 2 months into me being banned from any type of "marital relations."  DH has been great about it.  I can't help feeling a little bad...  but not bad enough to do anything about it. 

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  • Oh I have one for today.

    We have had this stupidass training lately - about twice a month for an hour each time - and its boring, and pointless, and the people leading it know it. We also have a meeting at least once a month (which is a lot more than it sounds like since the majority of the branch works at home twice a week, so when you're only here 3 days a week having all this stuff really eats into your time). 

    We have more stupid training today at 130, and since we have OT approved for the first time in a few months, we are having a meeting at 1030 this morning to go over the OT procedure. We have a few new analysts but why not just meet with them? Or why not tell us all to come 15 minutes earlier for the stupid pointless training so we can go over the OT stuff? 

    The real reason this is annoying is because we're evaluated on a production basis. All of these meetings etc result in us getting "downtime" on our weekly time sheets (# of cases we complete, # of hours we spent doing case work). so its not bad for us for that reason (although annoying bc it disrupts the work day and your mental flow etc) but our branch goal never changes, so even if we are all in meetings all day every day, we still have to make our goal and we have to have "performance meetings" when the branch isnt doing well.

    ITS BECAUSE WE HAVE MEETINGS AND TRAINING EVERY DAY.  STUPID STUPID STUPID.

     

    ugh.

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  • imagemrsbecky07:

    Oh I have one for today.

    We have had this stupidass training lately - about twice a month for an hour each time - and its boring, and pointless, and the people leading it know it. We also have a meeting at least once a month (which is a lot more than it sounds like since the majority of the branch works at home twice a week, so when you're only here 3 days a week having all this stuff really eats into your time). 

    We have more stupid training today at 130, and since we have OT approved for the first time in a few months, we are having a meeting at 1030 this morning to go over the OT procedure. We have a few new analysts but why not just meet with them? Or why not tell us all to come 15 minutes earlier for the stupid pointless training so we can go over the OT stuff? 

    The real reason this is annoying is because we're evaluated on a production basis. All of these meetings etc result in us getting "downtime" on our weekly time sheets (# of cases we complete, # of hours we spent doing case work). so its not bad for us for that reason (although annoying bc it disrupts the work day and your mental flow etc) but our branch goal never changes, so even if we are all in meetings all day every day, we still have to make our goal and we have to have "performance meetings" when the branch isnt doing well.

    ITS BECAUSE WE HAVE MEETINGS AND TRAINING EVERY DAY.  STUPID STUPID STUPID.

     

    ugh.

    That is really dumb. It seems like that should all be accomplished through one email and then if someone isn't following procedure, they should just address that particular person about it. 

  • I feel lately that my life is full of vents! I have nothing positive to say anymore.

    1. Since I have been home, I have been living with my parents. Great to save money, but stressful over all. H got up to MD in November and we have been looking for a place for the past few months and I'm just over it!! 

    2. H got a new job and at first he was loving it, now he says "people don't like him there and he wants to quit." Are you Fing kidding me!! I have been the breadwinner in this family while you have gone through depression, unemployment among other things and you finally find something good and you want to quit because someone was mean to you!  F U!!

    3. My mother is the lease supportive person on the face of the earth.

    4. I hate living an hour or more from everything and everyone I'm friends with. I never see anyone, do anything.

    Ok, I guess that is it for now.......

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  • I have a few vents.

    1. I do not like when people reply to a status on FB with their really strong opinion and think it is the only way to be. For example when LO was having all of her digestion, not sleeping, reflux issues I posted something like "Headed to the pediatrician. Hoping to get C's formula straightened out so she feels a lot better." Most people wished us luck or told us to hang in there because they've been there as well. But there was this one guy that just had to say "The best formula is mother's milk." .... Really? Thanks, asshat! WTF did you have to write that? How does he know if my milk wasn't coming in? Or what if I had an infection and couldn't feed my child?

    I debated on whether or not to start with him. But I didn't. I saw one of my friends a few days later and after she asked me how C was feeling she mentioned the comment. She even said "So who is _____ and why would he say something like that? I almost yelled at him on there but didn't want to get you upset if he is a close friend or family member."

    2. I just started my TOTM and I feel irritable. And DH has been really lovey lately and basically trying to get into my pants. I have never been happy with my body (bad body image issues all my life) on a normal day and my PP body is driving me up the wall. I don't like how it changed so I can't feel sexy and therefore I don't feel like having "special time" with him. He is understanding for now but I am not sure how long that will last.

     

  • imagejadebaby:

    I have a few vents.

    1. I do not like when people reply to a status on FB with their really strong opinion and think it is the only way to be. For example when LO was having all of her digestion, not sleeping, reflux issues I posted something like "Headed to the pediatrician. Hoping to get C's formula straightened out so she feels a lot better." Most people wished us luck or told us to hang in there because they've been there as well. But there was this one guy that just had to say "The best formula is mother's milk." .... Really? Thanks, asshat! WTF did you have to write that? How does he know if my milk wasn't coming in? Or what if I had an infection and couldn't feed my child?

    I remember seeing that jerky comment and I was *this* close to saying something smart back at him but of course I bit my tongue because I didn't want to start anything and I didn't know the guy. People always have to offer their idiotic two cents. Just try not to dwell on it, he's a doofus.

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  • @Jade- I had similar issues postpartum.  Talking to DH about it helped a lot.  (We had the same conversation quite a few times in the early days.)  An occassional glass of wine helped too!

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