Military Nesties
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: The Martyrdom of the Military Wife
Thanks, I'd love too. Unfortunately I'm still waiting for Mr. Kmm's response to why my dinner STILL isn't ready and those ACU's aren't clean and waiting at the door. I mean, for the love of all that is Holy, it isn't like he has to polish my boots anymore! I have to work in the morning and he is wasting time on the other computer.
Photo bomb, yeah!
I've known a few. I've even brought a couple back from the dark side and they now see the error of their ways. I'm about to delete one from FB because I can't stand her whiney BS any more. "What's the point in making friends if they just leave all the time." "I hate you staff duty!"
Yeah, that definitely sounds annoying. I guess I've just been lucky.
...wow... someone has a chip on their shoulder.
As for the promotion/spouse getting a degree thing----- degrees are completely different and our careers that we spent years working towards don't normally transfer when we PCS... just sayin' (but this might make me a martyr.)
So I was on the phone with my mom the other day. She was telling me about stuff that I left behind in my room when I left for college. She found a diary (I actually had several at any given time) and apparently the one she found was the one where I would go to vent about my little brothers when they were annoying me.
That relates to this thread because although I did not finish reading very much of OP's novel (or was that a copy and paste of someone else's journal for our general knowledge?) I would like to suggest that OP get a journal to write down her feelings in. Just don't give the key/password to your mom.
LOL.
Totally random...but was your hubby in the Corps at A&M??
21 January 2012
Dear Diary,
It has been three days since the last time I was able to take a poop without being interrupted. This morning junior #3 had a major blowout (and then he ate some of it). Later mom had a crisis at the home. She caught the lady down the hall cheating at bingo. I had just about had it when the next door neighbor let his dog poop on MY LAWN and did not even try to clean it up. That is all just for starters.
But then it happened. I was on Facebook and Jane Stone really let one rip. I swear she does this all the time and she?s not the only one. She dared to repost a status about the hardships of being a military wife. It was a truly disgusting and it ended with ?the hardest job in the Army. If you support Army wives, please repost this status for one hour.? I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw the TV remote into my monitor.
But then I realized, I experienced a moment of clarity unlike anything else I?ve thought of since at least last Tuesday. It was so clear, the mission that I had been called to do. How could I continue to sit here idle while military wives everywhere take to the internet with their hardships and their stories of the terrible injustices that have befallen them?
It was now up to me. I must be the one to show these poor women the error of their ways. I must be the ones to tell them to shut the f*ck up and that their pink camo thongs are once again being worn inside out and backwards. They have no reason to whine, no reason to feel bad for themselves. They have spouses and houses and free medical care! What more could a person possibly ask for?
But now, dear Diary, I must take to the internet and I must tell all the military wives on every website that someone else has it worse than them, that their jobs are FAKE and made up. I must lead them down the path of clear thinking.
When I am finished I shall celebrate with a victory lap. One slice of chocolate cake, two rum and cokes and three episodes of Jersey Shore. But my indulgences will be well-earned because I will have set an entire internet of military wives straight.
Until next time, dear Diary.
Yup. Not that random since I'm Mrs Aggie
I'm guessing by your picture that your DH was too?
Photo bomb, yeah!
Yep, I've seen her around before, and she always knows just what to say... (kinda like you, Smudges) I mostly lurk here, but am somewhat familiar with the flow of the board.
I will say that there are certain aspects of being a military wife that are felt by trailing spouses everywhere, and those impacts really kinda suck. But, they are what they are, and nothing I do is going to change them. I might as well figure out how best to deal with it.
Smudge!! How are you? I see by your ticker you have a little one. Congrats!
Yup, consider me offended. Still haven't found the point here.
When DH and I first enlisted we had the same home of record, so we obvi received the same magazine, like military spouse or some shiiit.
I would get soo pist when they were all addressed to me. Like, why did I just crawl through mud while getting shot at for fun just to be called a military spouse in the mail?!
That's all.
I have in some way been involved in the military my whole life, I was born 2 years into my father's military career ( I am 25 and he is still in), he is a chaplain and an officer. And seemed as though my mother was "only" his wife, there seemed to be a lot of expectations of her, and if she didn't do exactly what others wanted her to do, even though they did not pay her, for some reason people (and other military officers) would get upset with my father and try to get him to make her do it or take it out on him. So explain to me how that works if she was "only" his wife and that is exactly all she wanted to be, why there where so many expectations of her if the only dotted line she signed was the marriage cert? And my father informed me as a young girl that if I too married someone military they not only, in a sense, owned him but they own me as well. And the military veiws my JOB (their terms, not mine) is to keep him happy and his moral up, that would be the reason the spouses are allowed to PCS with them (SHOCKER!) and they give them the means for housing, health, ect....because when the solider is happy, it is easier for them in a lot of ways. Oh and something some may not know if you upset his moral in a sevre way (for an extreme example, you are caught cheating on your military spouse by an officer) and you are somewhere over sea's they will send you back to the states alone, period. And that has happened.
I have just married my huband who is not an officer, but that is his end goal. When he advances, I will be proud of him. If I use the term "we" I am well aware that he will have more than earned it on his own merit I will use the term "we" because, in accordance with my faith, when we got married we became "one flesh" (or team, unit, whatever term you want to use) and even though we are seperate people we are one, and I do my best to support him in what he wants in life as he does for me. I will be the one praying for him, encouraging him, and if things fall apart I will be there to help him put it back together. Isn't that what a wife is supposed to do? I will not wear his rank as though I earned it, but excuse me is I am so proud of him and I feel that me encouraging him and helping when and if he needs my help, has some how help forward him on his path toward his goal to better our life together, and made him feel good about himself at the same time.
So, no, the military did not hire the spouse. No, the military does not pay the spouse for what they do for thier beloved. And yes, I know he can do it on his own, but I want to help him and make his life a little easier while he does his job. So in some ways it is a job, even though it is not one the the traditional sense and I do NOT veiw it that way, but it is one I will gladly choose again and I do with all the love and joy in my heart, it is my pleasure. I am not a martyr, because it is his job, i knew what I was getting into. That is not to say that I will not be sad or miss him when he is away, and that the military won't do things to upset me or mess with me. I also know there are expectations of the spouse that are not talked about until you are already in the deep end, so you need to learn to tred water FAST!
So, here I have seen no martyrs here, and I am not among them. But you, dear lady, have some how in your attempt to blast others, have only counted your self among those with the martyr syndrome.
Have a nice day.
I have walked both sides of this line.
The spouse is an integral part of a (married) soldier's experience in the military. Sucks, but it's true. I can remember being so upset with COC that I tossed my wedding rings. For serious. Because I was reminded of the fact that I was not issued a husband at BCT.
I don't want to knock military spouses. My baby sister is one, pregnant and alone with an Afghanistan deployed DH.
We all make sacrifices and nobody is special enough that their sacrifice supersedes all others.
Martyrs come in all shapes and forms. !
That was actually kind of my point. I used my mom, because she never complained about my dads job, because it was his job, she did not think her sacrifice superseded anothers. And I do understand the artical was going after those with marytr syndrome, or the self entitled ones (they are very annoying).
Just reading that artical, it seemed more attacking and just mean rather than "hey don't do this". And they where lumping all the spouses together, and made it seem as though it is a bad thing to be proud of your military spouse and that they as the spouse are not important on any level and what they do for the one they love isn't important. And for all this writer knows the spouse may have wanted to serve in the military themselves, but for physical reason could not. So they take a LOT of pride in helping thier spouse who does serve, because in that way they can still serve, even if it is a small way.
I think this is a thier way of manifesting martyr syndrome
"Martyr syndrome" describes a person who uses their self-sacrifice or suffering to manipulate people around them.This person generally expects a reward for their suffering as they are stuck in the ""I am a victim"" mentality.This person also uses passive-aggressivness as another manipulation tool.An example would be you asked your spouse to take out the trash but they did not so you had to do it
They do come in all shapes and forms, you are very much correct that they do. But when I wrote my response I should have been clear, I will personally never complain about being so put upon because of my husbands job, I choose to be with him, and I knew what the life would ask for. So I am sorry I was not more clear about what annoied me so about that piece.
Yeah, I pointed out a bake sale article in Military Spouse to DH - he wasn't exactly impressed.