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need a quick unbiased opinion

So this summer we are getting a vacation home with P's family. I love them, I really really do. But his sister has 2 kids- ages 1 and 3, and she wanted to get an extra bedroom for them. However, she feels the entire cost of the property should be split down the middle. Yet, 2 of the 5 bedrooms will be used by her and her kids. Am I wrong? Are we supposed to pony up extra money so her kids get an extra room?
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Re: need a quick unbiased opinion

  • BUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOUR DOG MO?
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  • I would expect to split it per bedroom, if you occupy 2 rooms, you pay for 2 rooms (the same as you would in say, a hotel).

    That said, I'm not sure how much I would fight it if it will cause drama because house/4 vs house/5 probably isn't all THAT different. 

  • I agree with Wendy. 
    image Ready to rumble.
  • I also agree with Wendy.  Sometimes you seem to be very concerned with getting screwed over on things like this.  Unless it's a large amount or your money is tight, is it worth bothering with?  
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  • That poor dog is gonna be hooked to a tree with a bucket of water and whatever scraps I pitch from the fridge. He'll be fine, he's a survivor. The places were looking at run between 5 and 6k per week, with taxes and whatnot. So that would be at least $250 extra per couple. Not earth shattering by any means. This is just a question to see if I'm crazy, or I'm not used to how these things work when there are kids in a family.
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  • Oh yeah, I'm def detail oriented. I own that. But this is more of a "Hey is that how things work?" I really have no clue.
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  • I'd try to see it as having a room for the kids to go play and have all their stuff may benefit everyone.
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  • I also agree with Wendy.
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    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • imageFallinAgain:
    I'd try to see it as having a room for the kids to go play and have all their stuff may benefit everyone.
    I'm staying out of it. P is on the phone with her right now. He and his bro had a pow wow today and are pissed that she assumed they'd pick up the slack without a least asking them first. Her argument was that they won't use 40% of the house. I'm not sure what that means. My vote is that we get a 4 bedroom and they get the biggest room. Thankfully this is a "your family, your issue" thing. Sorry for the big paragraphs, posting from my phone.
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  • I think everyone should pay for the space they occupy. I would even go so far as to split things so whoever gets the master suite pays more, and whoever gets the small room with twin beds pays less. In which case, you could say you and P get the master, SIL's family gets 2 crappy rooms, and you're even.
  • IMO, it's not really a vacation unless you have a separate bedroom for the kids.  So I could see why she would want one.

    Her argument is bogus, though.  More bedrooms = more money in pretty much every renting/buying scenario, for a reason.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • The one year old and the three year old will end up in the bedroom with them anyway. I promise. 

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  • You pay by the # of rooms you use!  I take a huge group trip almost every year w a group of friends.  We always just have the kids stay in the rooms w/ the parents - because no one wants to pay for 2 rooms, which we all decided years ago would happen if people wanted a seperate room for their kids.

    In our situation,t hough, we're already in an 8 bedroom house and to need more rooms puts us in a situation of VERY few options and if the price is going to jump, the peopel responsible for the price jump need to take on a chunk of it!

    I was just looking at 4 vs 5 bedroom houses last week, and the price difference can be minimal based on the house. BUT still - doesn't matter. T hey want 2 rooms? They need to pay.

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  • If you guys were staying in a hotel, you'd pay per room, based on occupancy.  You'd still have access to the rest of the hotel (dining room, workout space, lobby, etc, akin to a house's living room, dining room, kitchen, etc), but she'd pay for two rooms in that situation and make no bones about it.  I don't see why it should be any different here.  
  • This just seems like one of those things that is soooo not a big deal. I'd want the kids to have a room to themselves for their stuff and would likely offer to pay for that room but are you paying per room or for the vacation property?

     

    image Josephine is 4.
  • My thinking is the same as Wendy's I suppose. 

    I don't think it's so not a big deal. It's rude to expect everyone else to pick up the tab for your kids. If you have four people in your family, it's going to cost more than a family of two to go on vacation. The sister should anticipate and understand that instead of expecting everyone else to cover the difference.

    But, I would just let it go for the sake of family and enjoying a vacation together.  

  • Wait, did you have to upgrade the vacation home to have the children get their own room or will one room be unoccupied without the children in it?
    image Josephine is 4.
  • imagelanie30:

    This just seems like one of those things that is soooo not a big deal. I'd want the kids to have a room to themselves for their stuff and would likely offer to pay for that room but are you paying per room or for the vacation property?

     

    Like I said, I've removed myself from the decision making. It's his family, they have been doing this trip for years. I was more just curious how other families handle this type of thing.

    As far as kid "stuff" goes, I agree, in an ideal world, all their stuff would be contained to their room. But we're also talking about a one and two year old here. More often than not, all the toys, blankets, baby supplies just take over the main living areas. I doubt the kids are going to use taht spack to play in. Again, not a big deal to me, but I think it's unrealistic to believe that an extra room will be anything more than a place for the girls to sleep.

    Lanie, I'm not sure I understand your question. We had planned that each couple paid per room. But now she's flipping out because she doesn't want to pay per room, she wants an even split (get the 5 bedroom house, she takes 2 of them, but we all pay the same amount). Which is why I suggested we get the 4 bedroom, give her and her kids the master suite and call it a day. 

    Oh, and she wants a pool (which makes it about 1k more than homes without pools) so that it's easier to play with the girls. I get it, I really do. Even though the houses are all beachfront, it's much easier to put your kids in a pool by the house than to drag them down to the beach, 50 yards away.

    The whole thing is a headache. I just want somewhere with a nice bed and good pillows.

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  • imagelanie30:
    Wait, did you have to upgrade the vacation home to have the children get their own room or will one room be unoccupied without the children in it?

     

    Yes, this is my question too. If everyone has to pay more for them to get their own room she should definitely pay. But otherwise I don't think it's a big deal.

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    For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
  • Yeah, I'm fairly certain I would privately stew about it but not actually say anything to the sister. But, if someone else said anything I would back them up. I'm a chicken like that.

    The only thing I would be concerned about is if this is going to become a regular thing. I don't know how often they vacation together as a family, but I'd be willing to overlook it once but probably not more than that. 

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  • Oh ok then, I get it. I would be pissed too. But, like Buddha, would probably silently stew.


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    For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
  • We'd all be adding about $250 to $300 to our bills for her extra room.

    4 bedroom house is about 5k, 5 bedroom house is 6k. So split that extra $1000 among 4 couples, and that's $250 per couple- before any taxes and fees. And like I said, her other requiremnt is a pool (which benefits everyone, so no biggie), but the houses all drop by about 1k without a pool. If you wanted to be pushy, you could say her pool and extra bedroom would cost each couple about $500, because no one else cares about having a pool. But like I said, we'll all use it, so I'm not bringing that point up to P. No need to fuel the fire.

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  • You are going to have a long life of dealing with his sister and her kids as part of your family. I don't know what the best thing for you to do is, but you and P need to figure out together how you are going to handle any family conflict now.
  • the fact that they take this vacation every year would probably give me pause just because those kids are young, and I would not want to shell out a couple hundred dollars every year for 18 more years.
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  • I wouldn't want to vacation with other people's kids before I had kids int eh first place.   My pre-kid vacation behaviour would be frowned upon by many a parent.

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  • imagebuddhagouda:
    the fact that they take this vacation every year would probably give me pause just because those kids are young, and I would not want to shell out a couple hundred dollars every year for 18 more years.

    Yeah, the fact that you are going to be dealing with this yearly and it is a fairly largish amount means I'd probably support P vocally in his laying down the law with his sister. 

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  • TSDTSD member

    Do all the "no big deal" people have an extra $250-$500 to just blow on someone else's vacation comfort? Because I don't. And I didn't before I was married. It would have made a huge difference for me. I don't think you can count anyone else's money and family or not just expect someone to pick up the tab for you having more people in your family.

    It reminds me of when Carrie Bradshaw went to the party, was asked to take off her shoes and her Manolos were stolen. Then the friend told her it was no big deal because there are things more important than shoes.

  • imageMadameS:

    We'd all be adding about $250 to $300 to our bills for her extra room.

    4 bedroom house is about 5k, 5 bedroom house is 6k. So split that extra $1000 among 4 couples, and that's $250 per couple- before any taxes and fees. And like I said, her other requiremnt is a pool (which benefits everyone, so no biggie), but the houses all drop by about 1k without a pool. If you wanted to be pushy, you could say her pool and extra bedroom would cost each couple about $500, because no one else cares about having a pool. But like I said, we'll all use it, so I'm not bringing that point up to P. No need to fuel the fire.

    For some reason I thought you were going for one week in florida which didn't seem all that big a deal. But yeah I guess that changes the game a bit.

    image Josephine is 4.
  • Yeah, the extra details definitely change things a bit. 
  • Lanie, it is one week. I am glad I'm not crazy. I think what stunned me in all of this is that it was just assumed by her that we would all pitch in. Like, she was shocked that we dare ask her to pay for her own kids' room. I think if I were in her shoes, I would have known all along I would be paying for my own kids. I would be uncomfortable asking every one else to chip in on my behalf.
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