Relationships
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
need a quick unbiased opinion
So this summer we are getting a vacation home with P's family. I love them, I really really do. But his sister has 2 kids- ages 1 and 3, and she wanted to get an extra bedroom for them. However, she feels the entire cost of the property should be split down the middle. Yet, 2 of the 5 bedrooms will be used by her and her kids. Am I wrong? Are we supposed to pony up extra money so her kids get an extra room?
Re: need a quick unbiased opinion
I would expect to split it per bedroom, if you occupy 2 rooms, you pay for 2 rooms (the same as you would in say, a hotel).
That said, I'm not sure how much I would fight it if it will cause drama because house/4 vs house/5 probably isn't all THAT different.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
Crap...I Mean Crafts
IMO, it's not really a vacation unless you have a separate bedroom for the kids. So I could see why she would want one.
Her argument is bogus, though. More bedrooms = more money in pretty much every renting/buying scenario, for a reason.
You pay by the # of rooms you use! I take a huge group trip almost every year w a group of friends. We always just have the kids stay in the rooms w/ the parents - because no one wants to pay for 2 rooms, which we all decided years ago would happen if people wanted a seperate room for their kids.
In our situation,t hough, we're already in an 8 bedroom house and to need more rooms puts us in a situation of VERY few options and if the price is going to jump, the peopel responsible for the price jump need to take on a chunk of it!
I was just looking at 4 vs 5 bedroom houses last week, and the price difference can be minimal based on the house. BUT still - doesn't matter. T hey want 2 rooms? They need to pay.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This just seems like one of those things that is soooo not a big deal. I'd want the kids to have a room to themselves for their stuff and would likely offer to pay for that room but are you paying per room or for the vacation property?
My thinking is the same as Wendy's I suppose.
I don't think it's so not a big deal. It's rude to expect everyone else to pick up the tab for your kids. If you have four people in your family, it's going to cost more than a family of two to go on vacation. The sister should anticipate and understand that instead of expecting everyone else to cover the difference.
But, I would just let it go for the sake of family and enjoying a vacation together.
Like I said, I've removed myself from the decision making. It's his family, they have been doing this trip for years. I was more just curious how other families handle this type of thing.
As far as kid "stuff" goes, I agree, in an ideal world, all their stuff would be contained to their room. But we're also talking about a one and two year old here. More often than not, all the toys, blankets, baby supplies just take over the main living areas. I doubt the kids are going to use taht spack to play in. Again, not a big deal to me, but I think it's unrealistic to believe that an extra room will be anything more than a place for the girls to sleep.
Lanie, I'm not sure I understand your question. We had planned that each couple paid per room. But now she's flipping out because she doesn't want to pay per room, she wants an even split (get the 5 bedroom house, she takes 2 of them, but we all pay the same amount). Which is why I suggested we get the 4 bedroom, give her and her kids the master suite and call it a day.
Oh, and she wants a pool (which makes it about 1k more than homes without pools) so that it's easier to play with the girls. I get it, I really do. Even though the houses are all beachfront, it's much easier to put your kids in a pool by the house than to drag them down to the beach, 50 yards away.
The whole thing is a headache. I just want somewhere with a nice bed and good pillows.
Yes, this is my question too. If everyone has to pay more for them to get their own room she should definitely pay. But otherwise I don't think it's a big deal.
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
Yeah, I'm fairly certain I would privately stew about it but not actually say anything to the sister. But, if someone else said anything I would back them up. I'm a chicken like that.
The only thing I would be concerned about is if this is going to become a regular thing. I don't know how often they vacation together as a family, but I'd be willing to overlook it once but probably not more than that.
Oh ok then, I get it. I would be pissed too. But, like Buddha, would probably silently stew.
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
We'd all be adding about $250 to $300 to our bills for her extra room.
4 bedroom house is about 5k, 5 bedroom house is 6k. So split that extra $1000 among 4 couples, and that's $250 per couple- before any taxes and fees. And like I said, her other requiremnt is a pool (which benefits everyone, so no biggie), but the houses all drop by about 1k without a pool. If you wanted to be pushy, you could say her pool and extra bedroom would cost each couple about $500, because no one else cares about having a pool. But like I said, we'll all use it, so I'm not bringing that point up to P. No need to fuel the fire.
I wouldn't want to vacation with other people's kids before I had kids int eh first place. My pre-kid vacation behaviour would be frowned upon by many a parent.
Yeah, the fact that you are going to be dealing with this yearly and it is a fairly largish amount means I'd probably support P vocally in his laying down the law with his sister.
Do all the "no big deal" people have an extra $250-$500 to just blow on someone else's vacation comfort? Because I don't. And I didn't before I was married. It would have made a huge difference for me. I don't think you can count anyone else's money and family or not just expect someone to pick up the tab for you having more people in your family.
It reminds me of when Carrie Bradshaw went to the party, was asked to take off her shoes and her Manolos were stolen. Then the friend told her it was no big deal because there are things more important than shoes.
For some reason I thought you were going for one week in florida which didn't seem all that big a deal. But yeah I guess that changes the game a bit.