Starting Over
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Ugh I feel so guilty

2»

Re: Ugh I feel so guilty

  • imageMaltedMilk:
     And it seems your reading comprehension is a bit off, and dramatic much? When did she say anything about not being able to put food on her table because of the cats?

     

    No, dramatic would have been me getting up in arms over what a stranger on the internet does with some cats I've never seen before. She didn't hang them from a tree in the front yard, she sent them to a shelter. Was it a good decision? No. Would I ever take an animal to a shelter? No, in fact, the dogs I've had in my adult life have come from shelters and it makes me sick to think of what happens to animals there. I guess I feel less strongly about this issue because I have human children, and can see a definite difference between them and my dog. Maybe my perception is skewed because of that, but I just don't get attacking a stranger for making a crappy decision. To me, THAT'S being overly dramatic. 

    She's crafty - and she's just my type.
  • imageWineCat:
    imagePrettyInPearls23:
    imagekellbell1919:
    imageWineCat:
    imagePrettyInPearls23:

    There are a lot of haters on this thread. I'll say that much.

    OP -- You feel guilty because you know deep down that sending your kitties to the shelter wasn't the right thing to do. That's why you have guilt. ((hugs)) I don't have anything to say that will help, but I'm sorry you're feeling bad about your decision. Ignore all the haters on here.

    We're "haters" because we're not okay with her shirking her responsibilities and putting her cats in a living hell just because it is inconvenient for her?  

    I'm actually a lover, I love cats.  I love every kind of cat.

    I will rephrase. There's a bunch of Judgy McJudgerson's on this thread.

    I'm an animal lover too -- I grew up with dogs, and I currently have a dog and a cat and I consider them to be part of my family.  However, I had to re-home one of my cats in the last few months due to my extremely active 2 y/o stressing her out to the max. It was exhausting trying to keep the two of them separate, and it wasn't healthy for my cat to spend her time hiding in my basement. I found her a loving home to go to, but that doesn't mean I don't still feel guilty about it. However, my child is more important to a cat. Go ahead and judge me for that, but unless you've been in the particular situation (Ninja's included), you really don't have room to cast judgment.

    Do I agree that Ninja made a smart decision in sending her cats to the shelter? No. But I'm also not going to jump on the bandwagon of flaming her for it either.

    Not only did she not make a smart move, she made a very cruel move and that is why I'm judging.  Those cats are in a living hell.  They don't understand why they have been abandoned and why they have to live in cages.  Even the sweetest, most outgoing pet can change when faced with these circumstances.  They did nothing wrong yet they suffer.  She could have used soft paws and gotten them toys.  

    Yes, I do judge when people sacrifice those around them who depend on them.

    Well said.  I am really sad about this.  Cats are my favorite! 

    So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

  • imageJellymanKelly:

    imageMaltedMilk:
     And it seems your reading comprehension is a bit off, and dramatic much? When did she say anything about not being able to put food on her table because of the cats?

     

    No, dramatic would have been me getting up in arms over what a stranger on the internet does with some cats I've never seen before. She didn't hang them from a tree in the front yard, she sent them to a shelter. Was it a good decision? No. Would I ever take an animal to a shelter? No, in fact, the dogs I've had in my adult life have come from shelters and it makes me sick to think of what happens to animals there. I guess I feel less strongly about this issue because I have human children, and can see a definite difference between them and my dog. Maybe my perception is skewed because of that, but I just don't get attacking a stranger for making a crappy decision. To me, THAT'S being overly dramatic. 

    Well said. Yes

    image
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • imagePrettyInPearls23:
    imageJellymanKelly:

    imageMaltedMilk:
     And it seems your reading comprehension is a bit off, and dramatic much? When did she say anything about not being able to put food on her table because of the cats?

     

    No, dramatic would have been me getting up in arms over what a stranger on the internet does with some cats I've never seen before. She didn't hang them from a tree in the front yard, she sent them to a shelter. Was it a good decision? No. Would I ever take an animal to a shelter? No, in fact, the dogs I've had in my adult life have come from shelters and it makes me sick to think of what happens to animals there. I guess I feel less strongly about this issue because I have human children, and can see a definite difference between them and my dog. Maybe my perception is skewed because of that, but I just don't get attacking a stranger for making a crappy decision. To me, THAT'S being overly dramatic. 

    Well said. Yes

    I didn't think the OP's choice had anything to do with children, and I don't think most of the responses have been "attacks."  But she did a sh!tty thing, and came here asking to be placated -- about something that's a hot button issue for a lot of people.  Frankly, I think things have remained relatively civilized.  There would be far more vitriol had this been posted over on Pets.

    So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

  • imageJellymanKelly:

    imageMaltedMilk:
     And it seems your reading comprehension is a bit off, and dramatic much? When did she say anything about not being able to put food on her table because of the cats?

     

    No, dramatic would have been me getting up in arms over what a stranger on the internet does with some cats I've never seen before. She didn't hang them from a tree in the front yard, she sent them to a shelter. Was it a good decision? No. Would I ever take an animal to a shelter? No, in fact, the dogs I've had in my adult life have come from shelters and it makes me sick to think of what happens to animals there. I guess I feel less strongly about this issue because I have human children, and can see a definite difference between them and my dog. Maybe my perception is skewed because of that, but I just don't get attacking a stranger for making a crappy decision. To me, THAT'S being overly dramatic. 

     Next time you tell someone that their reading comprehension skills are lacking, you should probably be more careful when you respond. My response wasn't an attack at all. I just gave her some details of shelter life and said she was being selfish. The truth is not an attack. And I would hardly consider my response getting "up in arms". I was just hoping she could see maybe it wasn't the best idea, and perhaps pick those kitties back up.

  • imagePrettyInPearls23:
    imageJellymanKelly:

    imageMaltedMilk:
     And it seems your reading comprehension is a bit off, and dramatic much? When did she say anything about not being able to put food on her table because of the cats?

     

    No, dramatic would have been me getting up in arms over what a stranger on the internet does with some cats I've never seen before. She didn't hang them from a tree in the front yard, she sent them to a shelter. Was it a good decision? No. Would I ever take an animal to a shelter? No, in fact, the dogs I've had in my adult life have come from shelters and it makes me sick to think of what happens to animals there. I guess I feel less strongly about this issue because I have human children, and can see a definite difference between them and my dog. Maybe my perception is skewed because of that, but I just don't get attacking a stranger for making a crappy decision. To me, THAT'S being overly dramatic. 

    Well said. Yes

    No, it wasn't.

  • imageJellymanKelly:

    I guess I feel less strongly about this issue because I have human children, and can see a definite difference between them and my dog. Maybe my perception is skewed because of that, but I just don't get attacking a stranger for making a crappy decision. 

    WHAT? There's a difference between humans and dogs? Well I guess I'm not a parent so obviously I wouldn't be able to understand this.

  • imagePrettyInPearls23:
    imageJellymanKelly:

    imageMaltedMilk:
     And it seems your reading comprehension is a bit off, and dramatic much? When did she say anything about not being able to put food on her table because of the cats?

     

    No, dramatic would have been me getting up in arms over what a stranger on the internet does with some cats I've never seen before. She didn't hang them from a tree in the front yard, she sent them to a shelter. Was it a good decision? No. Would I ever take an animal to a shelter? No, in fact, the dogs I've had in my adult life have come from shelters and it makes me sick to think of what happens to animals there. I guess I feel less strongly about this issue because I have human children, and can see a definite difference between them and my dog. Maybe my perception is skewed because of that, but I just don't get attacking a stranger for making a crappy decision. To me, THAT'S being overly dramatic. 

    Well said. Yes

    I didn't see one person who compared pets to children in this thread.  A life doesn't have to have the same value as a human life for us to have a responsibility not to inflict unnecessary pain or suffering.  Everyone has the ability to feel compassion and know right from wrong, whether they have children or not.  I also don't believe that caring about animals makes you a bad person, particularly homeless animals.

    As others pointed out, you keep conflating issues and injecting drama.  You went from saying the OP couldn't put food on the table to now saying the cat isn't a kid so people shouldn't care so much.  Neither of those applies to what the OP said or directly responds to the comments or arguments made by people against what she did.  The OP said she felt bad and wanted someone to make her feel better and people have pointed out that, yes, she should feel bad and did make a mistake.  Nobody has gotten nasty, gone below the belt, or attacked any of her other qualities, they've simply supported their opinion that what she did was wrong.  That's within the topic of the thread and we are, in fact, allowed to have opinions you disagree with.

    image "...Saving just one pet won't change the world...but, surely, the world will change for that one pet..."
  •  The craziest thing in this thread is working 7 days a week to afford a dog.  You know having a dog, so you can enjoy your life.   Bizarre.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imagekellbell1919:
    As others pointed out, you keep conflating issues and injecting drama. 

     

    I'm injecting drama? How about all the people who don't even post here regularly who are jumping on the "SAVE THE KITTIES!" bandwagon, or maybe crazyincidents who went over to the crazy-cat-lady board to summon all the other crazy cat ladies over here for a group freak-out. Holy shiz, people, get a grip. 

    Also, if you are allowed to have opinions I disagree with, then I'm allowed to say that there is a HUGE amount of overreaction in this thread. Agree to disagree. 

    She's crafty - and she's just my type.
  • imageMrDobalina:
     The craziest thing in this thread is working 7 days a week to afford a dog.  You know having a dog, so you can enjoy your life.   Bizarre.

    I believe she stated that she picked up a second job because she didn't enjoy living paycheck to paycheck.  

    image
  • it sucks to be in a position where you feel stuck between a rock and a hard place....  However, I'd have to be dying or going to jail to even consider sending my fur-babies to a shelter.  nah, still wouldn't do it.   just can't imagine having an attachment to a living creature and then putting it into a situation like that.  i guess maybe OP is focusing on hope that they find a forever home soon and blocking out what it will be like until that happens. i'm sure her intentions weren't bad.  but It's really unfortunate.  :( 
  • I can't handle thinking about your kitties.  My furbabies are the unconditional love I need at a time like this.  Please, please rethink your decision.  Stop at Petsmart for some 'nip and toys, then go pick up your kitties.  Shelters do the best they can, but you can do better, even with all the changes and limitations in your life right now.
    "The only true currency in this bankrupt world... is what you share with someone else when you're uncool." -Lester Banks, Almost Famous
  • Yep, add me to the list of lurkers who is coming out of the woodwork for this post.  I volunteered at a shelter and I can't tell you how heartbreaking it is.  Those cats in tiny cages, so starved for attention that many of them put their paw up against the cage if you simply make eye contact with them.  So many sit in their litterbox because it is a source of comfort for them - sitting in their own stench.  You should feel guilty.  I guarantee no matter how little attention you thought they were getting with you they are getting a small fraction of that now.
    Never, never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way."
    - Martin Luther King Jr.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Another lurker chiming in...

    In 2007--when I was carefree! Had no kids!--my husband and I bought a dog from a neighbor who had puppies. Yes, yes, I know...

    Our little guy ended up having idiopathic epilepsy and behavioral problems...although he is wonderful with us, we can't trust him around other people that he doesn't know well.

    Five years later we have two kids and busy lives. Is it convenient that our kids can't have friends over (someday, they are still really young)? No. Is it convenient that I routinely get up in the middle of the night to comfort a dog having a 30 minute seizure because they can't be completely controlled? Definitely not! Have I ever momentarily considered finding him a new home? Sure. 

    But our dog is part of our family and we committed to taking care of him. And as much work as he is, we love him and it would be a huge loss ifhe wasn't here. 

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards