Detroit Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Confessions/Vents
He's totally on board with it, and I think we can live off of his salary alone. I think I feel guilty because I feel like I should be contributing financially. I also feel like people expect me to do certain things/everything, and I don't want to let them down, which is stupid because that doesn't matter at all, and I think honestly if I asked anyone, they wouldn't care what I do. I feel like there is so much pressure on women to do everything. I just need to get over that.
Preach it Sister!!
Thanks! I am SO stinking excited! LoL!
I second this!
There was a picture of a baby and the blocks A, B, and C - each started a sentence... I can't remember the sentences exactly, but it was something like alone, on their back, and.... something else.
It just made me mad because there is more than one correct way to raise a child and I'm tired of hearing about "my way is best" and some of the alternative methods (bedsharing) being slammed.
Maybe I'm getting judgy, now...
Seriously! I am so sick of all the judgement. I'm judged because I don't have kids. If I did have a kid, I'm sure I would be judged for how I'm raising my kid, etc etc. I've decided it doesn't matter what people do, there will always be someone there to judge. People just suck most of the time and it's sad.
I remember feeling that way for a while too. I felt guilty because my parents had paid for a 4 year college education and I felt like I was "wasting" my degree in everyone's eyes. My parents couldn't care less though and don't feel that way. It was something I had to get over. People are always going to have an opinion on what's right or not for your life, but at the end of the day as long as it works for you and your DH that's all that matters.
I agree 100% with your comment about women. In some ways I've experience a form of reverse discrimination I feel. It's like in this day and age women are just expected to want to work, have kids, do everything, and if they choose to be a SAHM and focus on that (or the reverse honestly, and just focus on a career as opposed to kids) they're looked at like "well that's strange". I get asked so often "so do you think you'll go back to work when the kids are in school?" to which I reply "well we're thinking about homeschooling, so that'll probably become like a job" and that shuts people up pretty quickly because I'm definitely registering on their "freak meter" at that point. lol
And I don't mean to sound like I only support bedsharing - I honestly don't care how people put their baby to bed as long as they do it in a safe manner that works for them. I care that "my way is better than your way" - not saying that's what you are saying - just in general.
YAY! Friends!
YAY! Friends!
You're judging close-minded people... And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
Try living off just his salary now and saving yours - it will show you whether it will work and help you build up a nice big savings account.
There is a lot more to life than paying bills - you will still be contributing to the household. You/H will do what works for you guys and everyone else can just piss off.
I do agree that the pressure on women is ridiculous though. It's like a guy puts dishes in the dishwasher and he gets a freaking medal but the girl doesn't dust one week and she's a terrible person who deserves to be publicly shamed.
Yeah, I need to get over it. I was worried about "wasting" my degree, too, but honestly, it's something I'll use because I would LOVE to grow and preserve most of our food. I've never really wanted to have a career. I'm just doing it until I get to live my real life and money helps get there faster.
I totally agree about reverse discrimination. Feminism is changing. We worked so hard to make it into the work-force and that's great! Now, we're at the point where we are allowed to CHOSE what we want to do, but women are getting sucked into believing they have to do everything or they aren't proper women.
Hehe, yeah, I'm definately going to be setting off people's "freak meter" ... I already do! LoL!
This. This is the best way to know how things will look if you're a SAHM. I don't know where I fall yet as far as wanting to be a SAHM mom, but I've got a ways to go before children will even come into the picture. haha
We've been thinking about doing this. We're shoving a TON into savings. I bet we could do even more... I need to work on getting us on a budget...
Nicely put. Believe me, I'm super appreciative of everything that has been done for women's rights in the workplace. I think it's great if a woman wants to be successful and have a fulfilling career. I just think it shouldn't be expected of every woman to want a professional career, just like it shouldn't be expected that every woman wants to have kids.
THIS!
I totally agree. We should be able to choose between working and having kids. And honestly, it makes me even more mad when a woman has a working career and has children and she is frowned upon for doing both. I know a ton of working mothers who are EXCELLENT moms to their children.
LoL... so true though
I have no idea if I am cut out for motherhood and when I tell someone this they make me feel like a freak because I just don't know if that's what I want. Trust me I wish I knew if I was meant to be a mom it would make my life a lot easier to figure out.
Vent - I'm sick of some people thinking that people without children do not have valid opinions. One of my FB friends is having a religious type debate on her page. Her and one other woman are really going back and forth. My friend then asked her if she was a parent. WTH does that have to do with anything? Kids were not brought up before in the debate, so that leaves the impression that if you aren't a parent your views are suspect? Annouys me to no end.
AGREED.
dead.
How bizarre. If the topic has nothing to do with parenting and it wasn't brought up before, why in the world would that even matter.
Exactly! The impression was given that she might not understand if she didn't have kids. I guess your religious beliefs are only valid if you have children.
Clearly everyone knows this rule...
I think I did something wrong, did you guys just feed & then back to bed?
Granted, both my kids were in cribs in their own rooms from day 1, but still, I had to change their diaper, plus I had to pee like crazy before even changing/feeding them!
hmmmmm.....see, I should have #3, I need to test if things would have been quicker if I put a Moses basket in our room while they sleep.
"botanical bliss"...
awww totally do not feel embarassed! I can totally relate! that is what happens when you decide to become a parent. You have to make the best decision that is right for your family. Follow your heart- I thought I could "plan" everything. My plan with my secure position and great benefits, was short lived lol DH & I were married for 7 years because financially we wanted to make sure we were ready and did not want to have children until we knew in our heart of hearts until we knew we could afford them lol. When I was pregnant I ended up losing my stable job because I was taken off of work due to having some pregnancy complications. Being off of work in bed most days sick, I finally had the time to devote to something I help passionate about, "photography". Since then- I have started my own business- everything I have learned has been self taught and I am extremely proud of my accomplishment. I started my own business and with those hours- I have been able to be a full time SAHM by day- and do photo shoots after DH comes home from work and on weekends. 17 months later, I just landed a job as a newborn photographer at Beaumont Hospital. I felt so great that I was the one of the other 4 photographers chosen, and they they were so impressed I had so much knowledge in such little time ( not to toot my own horn or anything lol) Everything happens for a reason- although that time was the hardest struggle we have had financially- It got me to where I am today and I am very thankful for that. Next week I start my new job- and even now, the hours are perfect- the pay is great and I only have to work 3 days from 9-1 (mtw) and then off 4 in a row. Stay positive, focus on being happy! I have learned you can't plan everything- and it will work it self out- I promise. Becoming a parent- you do find out who your true friends are, I can relate to feeling isolated at times- when you become a parent your child comes first and ALWAYS will- and some people just don't get that.Don't stress! ...throwing "baby dust" your way!
Confession: I am soo nervous about going back to work next week- I feel anxious and my stomach is nautious! Im sure I will do fine- its just going to be hard to get back in to a routine of going to bed at a decent hour and waking up super early to get ready lol
Vent: I don't really have anything to vent about this week