International Nesties
dulcemariamar1
member
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
@ Birth plans and the Birth plan from that famous blog
I cant get enough of this blog. Have you seen it?
Anyway, I have a question about birth plans and how they work. I have seen some that are pages long. How do nurses and doctors keep track of them all? Do they just post them somewhere in the room or do they ask the mother permission before they do anything? It just seems so confusing for the medical staff if they have to take care of so many people.
Did you have a birth plan? Do they do them outside of the States?
Re: @ Birth plans and the Birth plan from that famous blog
I am on a strict deadline today, but when I meet it, I will look at that blog. I am sure it will take hours of my life from me...
I had a birth plan. I made sure it stuck to one page or less, but the important benefit of it was discussing it with my OB/Gyn beforehand, just to make sure all of my expectations were realistic/in sync with her philosophies. On actual "game day," the birth plan wasn't given to anyone in the room, DH and my doula each had a copy just to make sure they didn't forget my wishes about anything in case I couldn't talk or something like that. I should note that I only arrived at the hospital with enough time to push DD out, so perhaps if I had gotten there earlier, I would have given the nurses a copy of the birth plan.
Some of the things I had on it were: no pain relief unless I specifcally ask for it (so please don't keep sending the anesthetist into the room), no episiotomy, delayed cord clamping, would like DH to cut the cord, no circumcision on day 1 if it's a boy (I was team green) and I'd like to BF as soon as possible.
Those are the big things I remember. I've seen some controversy on the nest/bump about birth plans, with some women accusing people who have birth plans of being "control freaks." I will admit that I had very specific opinions about how I wanted my birth to go in an ideal world, but I think it was great for me to discuss my expectations with my OB beforehand with a written document to refer to. I also think my birth plan was limited to things that actually mattered medically, like preferring to tear naturally over getting cut v. birth plans I've seen where people specify the kind of music they want played in the room. If you're going to get specific about something like that, then the birth plan should definitely be something that's a discussion point for your SO/DH or birth coach. The nurses aren't going to care what kind of music you want played in the room...
My birth plans were simple so no need for a printout. I have friends who had long birth plans to varying results.
Admit me as soon as they will take me.
Epidural as soon as they will give it.
Sleep in between being checked. (both my labors were in the middle of the night)
Wake me to push. Cut only when necessary.
DH standing there to make emergency decisions.
I have no idea how it works anywhere besides the specific hospital where I gave birth.
First of all, I didn't really have a written birth plan. But, in the hospital where I gave birth there was a 1-1 nurse to patient ratio. I had 2 nurses during my labor because of a shift change. When I arrived my first nurse asked for my 'birth plan' and I was like 'try to not die and have a baby at the end of this.' She kind of laughed but said if I wanted to fill out a set form they had, I could. When my new nurse came on, she asked to see my birth plan as well. So I suppose they would have been the main people who would have been advocating for my plan, besides DH.
My Blog
Haha, I have seen that blog, but haven't had enough time to read through the whole thing. I've seen some interesting stuff though.
As for birth plans it really depends on the nurses and if they are receptive to it. Here in Spain it doesn't matter if you discuss a birth plan with an OB (in the public system) as who you see during your pregnancy will never be the one delivering your baby. This is different in the private system.
I had a birth plan, but I also had a very unique situation where the midwives and OB attending me were only there for me, no one else. They were also the ones who brought up a birth plan before. I have more I could say, but this reminded me of something...YGPM
Birth plans can be helpful for your support people even if you don't show it to the nurses though. Then you have everything written down as your thought process might be different when in labor.
Is this everywhere in Germany, or your specific hospital or your specific practice of midwives/doctors? I feel like perhaps birth plans are so common in the U.S. because practices vary so much from hospital to hospital or practice to practice.
Yeah, that blog is pretty crazy. It was posted on my bmb a few times, so I got to see her at the very beginning of the pregnancy. Surprisingly, she seems much more down to earth now than she did at the beginning. I am very interested to know how her labor and delivery go. It seems to me like she's had a picture perfect pregnancy, which always makes me a tad jealous and bitter, to be honest, because I didn't get that, but that's my problem, not hers.
I had no set birth plan other than - I prefer to hold out on a c/s for as long as possible (ha!), I'd like to go as natural as possible but am not going to feel guilty if I need an epi (a non-issue, obviously), and I'd like to bf and have skin contact asap (ha. DD went pretty much straight to the NICU, although we did get to see her first). I wasn't planning on writing anything down either, which is good since it would have all gone out the window when I got HELLP.
In my birth prep class, the teacher (a midwife who works at the hospital) said that a birth plan is ok if it's short, but some of the midwives will side-eye you for it, and she finds it much better for the woman to just tell the midwife what she wants (although I think that could get kind of difficult with shift changes). This came up because a girl in the class has a thing with being touched on the knee and wanted to have it written in a birth plan that the midwives/drs were not to touch her knees under any circumstances. Weird, I know.
Question: Why is it a bad idea to give the baby a bath in the hospital and eyedrops?
They are bringing a tarp and like five bags to the hospital. Fun times for the nurses!
As far as I know the bath is just the first few days. The stuff that they come out with is good for their skin and some people don't want it to be removed immediately. DD didn't get a bath until day 2.
The eyedrops because they are for an STD if I remember correctly and it's just a preventitive measure given to all babies. Even though I''m all pro-natural stuff I did get the drops because even though I trust DH and felt completely sure I didn't have any STD I didn't want to risk DD's eyesight. I didn't see any complications or downsides to getting the drops so get them we did. HTH
Putting on flame-resistant suit...
We didn't not want DD to get the routine hospital bath. We saw them happening on our hospital tour and the babies were all screaming and crying red in the face as they were hosed down. DH and I decided right then and there we wanted to do the first bath ourselves. It was a really nice bonding experience for us as a family and it also meant that DD wasn't spending a bunch of time away from us in the nursery. I roomed in with her the whole time I was at the hospital and I don't regret it.
We did do the drops, though. I remember wanting to opt out of them (but can't remember why) and my OB/Gyn talked me into getting them.
I looked at two hospitals and my midwife was from a third, and the birthing procedure seemed pretty standard for the hospitals in our area. I went for a consulation before DD was born, and they didn?t ask me any of my wishes, just checked for the position of the baby.
Germans definitely don?t push epis and the like, and if you want one you will have to ask for it, and even then the midwife might not give in. I know my birthing instructor/midwife was very anti epidural.
They did not give DD eye drops, but she got vitamin K which they asked me about right before they gave them to her, but that?s about it. We didn?t give her a bath at the hospital, but we could have if we had wanted to.
They gave me DD right after she came out and wanted us to try and nurse about 30 min later, but DD was too tired to try. I think it was more than an hour later before they did the exam and got her dressed, and that was all in the room with DH watching/helping.
DD got a bath in my bathroom sink and never went to the nursery until she got checked in for jaundice. She screamed about as much as she did her first bath at home. I think that's fairly unavoidable. It was over fast anyway. No flames here, but just pointing out that baths don't always mean leaving mom.
I was asked by the midwife in the delivery suite as I walked in what my birth plan was - "to get this baby out" was my reply...She laughed and specified about what pain relief. Told her I didn't think there was time for an epi so I'd take the gas and air.
She examined me and I was 6cm, 20 mins later 10cm and N was born an hour after entering delivery suite... so I was right, no time for epi...
I've seen that blog before, and her birth plan seems a lot more 'natural' than I would have expected!
I think instead of having such an exhaustive birth plan it is much easier (and more likely to go to plan) if you choose a provider that shares your ethos. I didn't have a birth plan but that is because I went to a midwife-only birth center and I basically had the birth that is planned by the blogger. [That said when I really was asking for an epidural (I was actually in transition so too late anyway) and the midwife said 'why don't you try some Bach's Rescue Remedy?- which is some flower extract- I almost punched her]
I realise that choosing a provider you want is not always possible. But I think if your birth plan is way outside the norm it will just be a series of battles and disappointments. I saw an episode of 'One Born Every Minute- USA' and there was a couple aiming to have a natural birth and the hospital staff seemed so unsupportive. There was one point when the staff were snickering at the nurses' station because the women in labor was making a lot of noise.
The place where I had my DS is now closed so I will be giving birth to the next one in the standard public hospital. My plan is to go in, give birth and get out again. At my last appointment they said they will discharge you within 2 hours of delivery if you have a natural uncomplicated birth- so my aim is to be tucked up back in my own bed eating my favourite take-out before I know what's hit me.
Well I don't have any kids but I did work as a nurse assistant in L&D for about a year in Sweden so I can tell you how we handled birth plans then.
Most if not all couples had a birth plan. I think it was encouraged by the pre-natal midwives and I think it was something they would use as a discussion point at one of the appointments. The midwife you see through prenatal care is not the one delivering you.
At L&D we always worked in pairs - one midwife and one nurse assistant - and each patient would be assigned to a one of the pairs so you would only see that one midwife (up until shift change when you would be assigned to a new pair). We normally had 1-2 patients assigned to us though on really busy days it could be as much as four patients per midwife (though then two of them would probably have delivered already). So really it was never a problem to remember the wishes/birth plans.
The actual birth plans would be about a page long, usually in short sentences and we would keep the paper in our file along with the charts. At admission the L&D the midwife would go over it together with the couple. I do remember one woman who had a really long birth plan, something like a 5 page long letter. However it was for very specific reasons, she had some really traumatic experiences (think abuse/incest) and the letter explained all this.
I do think a lot of the things I see mentioned in birth plans on the bump just wasn't an issue for us though. Like no need to say anything about routine episiotomies as they were never done (I saw altogether three episiotomies in one year and they were all in cases far from routine). The only time we ever forced anyone into a certain position would be for instrumental deliveries and in those cases they had usually been pushing for a long time in several different positions
ETA: sorry that was quite long!
Where I worked we pretty much never bathed the babies. It was usually enough just to wipe them off and that way you keep the vernix which is really good for the baby's skin. The only time we bathed the baby would be if the mother was HepB/HepC/HIV+. I also remember bathing one baby after a very very messy birth.
They also stopped with the eye drops like 30 years ago I think.
Ok, now I'm wasting too much time reading this blog!
Although my medical notes (which I was responsible for bringing to all appointments and the hospital) had a place for a birth plan, I never filled it in. I wanted as natural a birth as possible, but knew that if circumstances required something else then I would do whatever was needed. Since I was in a midwife suite, the protocols were what I wanted anyway. The things that I had choices about were asked to me throughout and I was able to answer them all. DH and I had discussed my wishes before so I knew he could answer for me if I couldn't.
I think if I have my next baby stateside, I will be spending time finding a doctor that has a similar philosophy to the experience I had here. So maybe the next birth will require a birth plan.
That's a fun read.
I did have a birth plan that I mentioned to the staff at the hospital when I signed up a few weeks before W was born. I think for 98% of the requests it was their normal policy anyway. I think I wanted everything to be as natural as possible unless there were complications. I don't think the actual staff at the birth got the birth plan because one of the things on it, they made us do. (My H absolutely did not want to cut the cord, he has a very weak stomach and passes out when he just thinks about certain things. They made him do it even though he told them no a few times then the doctor told him it is his responsibility. My H survived.
)
I picked this hospital because they were into more natural methods and a lot of the things she wants are things that they did without me asking. I remember reading a little bit on hypnobirthing and wanting to go that route. I honestly don't remember the details of it now, but I do remember wanting to stay very positive. When I showed up at the hospital, they told me I was too happy to really be ready so to go home for a few hours. This put me in such a bad mood and I made sure when I got back there later that I put on my most miserable face.
I was looking at her packing list and it made me laugh. One because she's bringing so much stuff. I brought so much stuff and did not use a single thing. That doesn't mean that the next time I have a baby I won't bring the same stuff. I'd rather have it than not.
Oh yeah. I've seen that blog.
I had a birth plan, though it went out the window. Like Chelbel, my hospital notes had a place in the back asking for my birth plan. It asked what my plan was for pain relief, which positions I'd like to try to labour and give birth in, whether I wanted access to a tub, etc.
I had grand plans to go all natural, but caved for the epidural since my labour was so long.
I didn't have a written birth plan with either. With William I was really going with the flow. H wasn't even sure if he wanted to cut the cord with W.
With W, I wanted an epidural but nothing else. But after 2 days of labour, I let hte MWs talk me into other optoins, none of which worked. I finally got my epi after 56 hours of labour and it was a godsend. Nothing mattered much with W, though, as he was stuck transverse at 8cm, and ended up as an emergency c/s. I kind of wonder if I'd emphasised certain things if hte MWs would have helped me more naturally, or if I was just too tired after a long labour and it was always going to happen this way.
With M, I was firmer: nothing but an epidural, maybe gas and air. My epi didn't work, so I used a lot of gas and air. I knew the NHS wouldn't give me an episiotomy that wasn' t nec, so didn't even think to write that down. I think they knew I really wanted a vbac, and they were great in encouraging that. But otherwise, I trusted that they would do what was nec. In the end, I had an episiotomy and forceps to get M out asap. (I'm really not meant ot birth babies, both my long labours ended in destress...) And I didn't care about what they did re: delivering the placenta or eye drops because they were giving her oxygen and I was in shock from my violent delivery.
At our hospital, they don't bath babies. Didn't ask about eye drops. I just went with the flow, knowing what our trust was like, and figuring I was happy enough. Although I used to blame the MWs for my c/s, I now waver between blaming myself and William. :P
Why would you not want Hep B at birth? Why would you need it?
Also why did Sweden stop doing the eye drops 30 years ago? Did the clap disappear there? Or is it gonorrhea?
Bio
I'm not 100% sure about the Hep B at birth...I know I didn't have it until I was in middle school and here they don't offer it at birth. Actually it's not part of the standard vaccines here. I don't know the why/why not arguments. My thinking is if there isn't a risk for it at that time, then you can wait. They also don't do eyedrops here as standard either. I don't know if they offer them if you are at risk...I guess maybe.
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I know!!! That was a great moment. The funny thing is, that I could understand if you had no idea about childbirth but it seems that she had researched every single detail about pregnancy and L&D. You would think she would realize that isnt the best choice.
But I wouldnt mind seeing a pic of it.
So I missed the bath but DH took pics of it for me.
That sounds unpleasant, and scary. I retained a piece of my own placenta and had to be given pitocin to "birth" it eight weeks after I delivered DD. Oh, placentas, why can't you just do what you're supposed to do and not cry out for more attention?