Military Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: WDMNT?
I'm still having a difficult time seeing how this guy doesn't have the time. So he works from 6-3. OK. So does my H several days a week. That leaves any time after 3 open for house/apt hunting. Call ahead to a realty company and see what rentals they have available, go drive by them. He can see if he likes the neighborhood (he can drive by anytime of day! free country and whatnot) and if he does he can ask for keys to look around. He can even apply online to an apartment complex. ONLINE. At any hour of any blessed day he chooses.
He's lazy.
/gavel.
Yeah, all I'm hearing are excuses. I was able to find a place to live while attending school full time, working full time bar hours and being a single mom to 2 kids back in the day. I call BS
But thats the thing, I doubt any of us that have done the roommate thing didn't feel okay with it at first. But I guess everyone has to live through it.
ETA: I never thought it would cause something between H and I, but it was HARD. Instead of being able to argue about something and then talk about it, we both kept all our feelings on the inside because we didn't feel comfortable arguing/talking about our problems with a roommate. That's just one thing, there were so many parts of our relationship that took a hit from having a roommate that it wasn't funny. Now that H and I have our own place we rarely argue.
Another thing, is he going to have to help out around the house? If so, how much? Is he going to be paying a % of utilities? If so, figure all this out NOW.
This x100!!
If this guy doesn't have time NOW, what makes you think he'll have time in a week? two weeks? A month? Whatever time frame you give him, his schedule will likely be the same.. so whats the difference?
Does he ever get a lunch break? Even 15 minutes is enough time to chow down a sandwich and call a management company or two.
I don't want to speak for Stan, but I lived with her and her H for a month and although we are BFF4Lyfe, it's still an adjustment having someone else hanging around. I had plane tickets, so I knew exactly when I was leaving, which I think is a good plan to have if you take this dude in.
When we took in H's cousin, we did not set an end date. We originally planned on letting him stay with us for about two months so he could watch our dogs and house while I was in CA doing IVF. As luck would have it, he is an animal abuser who had no qualms about beating his dog in front of us, literally punching the dog while the dog cried. I don't think that's something anybody plans for, especially when my MIL and aunt were totally on board with him being a good guy and encouraging us to help him out. It got so bad that I did not give him notice to move out. He hit his dog and I told him to leave that night. Some things you just don't plan for. It was stressful on my marriage because I wanted DH to step up and tell him to cut the crap, but he didn't because he was afraid of disappointing his family. He wanted to be a nice guy. The guy flicked my dog in the face and balled up his fist and recoiled (as if to punch) at another one of my dogs when he pawed at him to be pet. The dude was psycho, yet he came with family recommendations.
This, too, exactly! That's why it bugs me when mil people especially complain about stuff like this. There are so many freaking resources available, and so many different options out there, that I always call BS when people complain about not having time/$$$/whatever to apartment hunt.
Has he even been to the housing office? They usually have a list of apts for rent. Management companies and such are also open on the weekends, since, you know, most people work during the week.
Such a bad idea...I really wish you'd listen to us.
I don't think most of us are heartless biitches and just don't want to help people, but c'mon this guy needs to grow up. He wants to play grown up married life? Then he can act like an adult and find a place to live.
I get so worked up on this because I was there. I was young (dumb) and thought I knew it all and IIIIIII was going to be the ooooonly acception. Ya right. If I would have listened to the people around me it would have saved me a lot of arguements, time, money and saved me from a lot of stress (and medication - HA!).
Don't expect to be friends with this dude after all this is done. For real.
And with that I'm done. It seems like you've made up your mind and I really do wish you the best of luck.
I wouldn't take on a roommate. The most I would do is let someone stay with me for a week or 2 if they had to wait to get into an apartment for which they have already signed papers and are just waiting for the move in date to arrive.
We've had plenty of friends stay with us for a week or so here or there for different reasons, but that is different than moving in IMO. We did not charge rent, but the people that have stayed with us are people we would consider family. I don't understand why he can't stay at the barracks or receive BAH?
He is receiving BAH. He "can't find time" to go look for an apartment.