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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Book Club
I wish you would have told me that back then. I really wasn't trying to be a *** about it. Plus, what I say is definitely not what everyone else thinks. I was just trying to reply and tell you what we currently did.
ETA: TN won't let me say b****.
And Chelsea commented on my FB post... so that's three.
Bio
I came over to see what had been decided and saw all this.
Julie, if you've got something to say, just outright say it. I'm tired of the clandestine talking behind backs and mean girl behavior. For all the talk about being mature, this crap is really childish.
I have a real problem with the pot stirring you have always done and if I am completely honest, it's why I left. I can not stand to watch you systematically choose things that ARE NOT drama and fan the flames up until it starts something and then get a pass on being the fire-starter because no one wants to rock the boat.
Regarding there not being a need for drama, no there isn't but this is going to keep going on and stuff is going to keep being flamed up until the root issues are solved. My root issue is that the common denominator in almost all drama is Julie regardless of whether it involves her or not. I'd like to hear what she has to say.
Haha I know! But I figured if anyone else wanted it to change they would've spoken up too. And since no one did I just let it go. Not a big deal.
I have a legitimate question - would this have been better said in a PM or FB message?
Bio
This is a tough one for me because I can totally see where you are coming from, but what we have been doing for almost a year now has also worked well, so it's hard to know whether to change it. I think we all want to do what what will enable the most people to be able to attend.
I do like the idea of being able to plan at least a month or two ahead and maybe that would help.
With All the Trimmings
Just do it!
No because I have no faith that my words would not be twisted as the PM was re-told to others.
I think that's pretty harsh.
I'm friends with all of you, and I don't want to see this go south anymore than it has. I think that if you have a personal issue with Julie, you should take it up with her... personally. You're giving her grief over pot stirring and posting drama cross-board, but only doing the same here. I am not trying to be mean, or take any one person's side, but come on.
Bio
Julie was only sticking up for me here in this thread. If you have a problem with that then that's my problem too. If you have a separate issue with her then take that up with her personally. Coming back after being MIA for weeks just to admonish Julie is exactly the kind of pot stirring that you're getting on to her about.
And I appreciate that - you're right, it's not between you and me. But by putting it on the board, you're making it between everyone.
I still think that this should be a private discussion, no matter what reasoning.
Bio
WHOA. A girl leaves for 6-7 hours and the whole world blows up.
1. Reading this thread in it's entirety, it did seem a little "BAM, Tiffany & Leslie are back!" which was weird, and simultaneously awesome. Missed you ladies.
2. Leslie, I was one of the people that was kind of put off the day you talked about hating pregnant people. I've been where you're at regarding infertility, and I've also been the pregnant friend when my best friend was trying (she's in her 5th year of trying)... all angles of that situation suck. But it still seemed harsh. That said, I would never have commented on it in that FB thread had I known you were included in the message. That makes me a) a retard for not reading, and b) a coward, because if it mattered, I should have just said it. I apologized in that thread and I'll do it again now... it was tacky to mention at all you. You're allowed to feel however you want to feel.
3. I'm bummed that Book Club always happens on a Saturday because DUH, that's when I work. Obviously it can't be helped... just thought I'd throw it out there, because I'd love to get to participate.
Angela - The deal with the FB message was the worst of the issues but it was by no means the only issue. The mature thing to do in that situation was to leave, so I did, that message was absolutely not the appropriate time to either bring something like that up or discuss it. As for everyone being ready to deal with it then, those I spoke with afterward let me know they were not even aware I was copied on the message, so really it looked like everyone was ready to talk about me behind my back right then. I honestly found Julie's apology hollow and so didn't respond. We are not good enough friends for me to feel like that was something we could overcome honestly.
Regarding you, I thought Tiffany's initial question to you was valid. If we are all willing to make a change for you then you have to make it a priority to come to book club. Whether or not you could have come in the past is irrelevant really and probably shouldn't have been mentioned.
Regarding leaving the board, I had actually decided to do that prior to the whole FB drama happening, Lacey can back me up on that. I thought it was best for me and everyone else for me to take a break. Then the FB message heard round the world blew up and I sent a PM on FB letting a group of girls know I was leaving the board for personal reasons. For many this will be the first they've heard of the FB message because I felt it was something that didn't need to be gossiped about and we should let die. Ironically, it was Julie who brought it back up weeks later.
Leslie - Perhaps this is me being too sensitive but the fact that you sent a message to several girls about leaving and didn't include me is hurtful. I came to you first about news in my life to be sensitive to you, and I didn't get the same courtesy, about leaving or anything else really. But I guess now I understand where we stand and I will let it go there.
ETA: And I sincerely hope that you don't think that I would "gossip" at all about your departure and I'm a little bothered that you think that's what the majority of this board does.
Bio
The thing is, I'm not asking anyone to change anything. I'm just asking for it to be scheduled earlier. I am not asking for it to be on a certain day every month just so that I can come. I actually don't care what day it's on, I just want to know in advance. So no that initial question wasn't needed.
And I completely disagree. The mature thing would've been to speak up right then, not leave like a child that got their feelings hurt.
I'm not going to argue with you about the best course of action in that situation. I just didn't feel a fundraising PM for someone's loss was a place to talk that out. We can agree to disagree there.
Bri - I apologize, I sent a FB message during the time you were FB-less.
Fundraising sounds weird there for some reason. If it does to anyone else know it wasn't intended.
I'd like to point out that the original issue of advance notice, at least for March, has been resolved. I think it will be pretty easy to continue to schedule things two book clubs ahead of time, instead of just one.
And also, this thread makes me
- I don't like drama. Have a good evening, ladies.
With All the Trimmings
Just do it!
Agreed.
~TTC Buddies with akcrrr and amandaf6383~
Natural Cycle (8/7/13)- BFP! Beta #1 (9/10/13): 509 Progesterone: 18.64 Beta #2 (9/12/13): 1118
Bio
I apologized to the two people that I said something about and I heard nothing back. That's okay. No one has to accept an apology if they don't want to. The only time that I ever referred to whatever was when several said that they missed you guys who decided to go and that they wished you would come back. And you know what? I agreed.
Angela and I have gotten together several times over the past month since she is now working near me and while Bill was out of town. She talks to me about her health. I know about over night shift work. In spite of what some may think, I was not attacking Tiffany in any way (here) but trying to inform others that Angela tries really hard but it's not always controllable. Yes, I did talk about the situation over on TK and I am not in the right. However, telling people that you're over the drama and don't want it in your life but coming over and saying something that was pretty harsh when you don't know all the facts was not really being above the drama.
I apologized to you, in private, but since you brought it up here in front of everyone else, I'll say it here again, so that everyone can see it: I'm sorry about what I said, Leslie. I didn't know that the message was going to multiple people, but I shouldn't have said it no matter what.
Now, if you want to take up anything else with me, you can feel free to message me or we can meet up for coffee.
Tiffany,
I didn't address this before, but it would be ridiculous for you to stop going to book club. Of course you should go and continue participating. So far as I'm concerned, you're still part of our community. This goes for Leslie as well.