Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Confessions! (yes, FF)
I was casually dating someone for a few weeks who was waving red flags the whole time and got upset when it blew up in my face. I've decided the whole "no sex without monogamy/exclusivity" thing is the right way to go from now on. At least the time it takes for me to realize someone is a douche is decreasing!
The above does not apply to my previous FWB.
I wish Ninja would come back. I noticed she disappeared after the kitty blow up.
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Re: Confessions! (yes, FF)
I noticed that too. I'm on my second cup of coffee even though one was probably enough. I think I'm becoming addicted.
Really? Are these flame-free confessions? lol
Did you indicate you were separated in your Match profile?
I don't think, given Rak's circumstances, that this is flameful at all.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Edited to indicate FF
I signed up soon after I left XH just to see what was out there. It made me feel better knowing that there were better men out there than the one I had left.
I'm supposed to split attorney fees with my ex, but I don't want to and the divorce decree says that we're each responsible for our individual attorney fees. He hired the lawyer we ended up using to file after we did mediation and it says that in the divorce decree too. So really, I can tell him to suck it. The final bill is nearly $4K... what the hell did he use her for?!!
So I need to look it over and tell him how much I will pay, but I'm postponing it for as long as possible...
I'd tell him to suck it. Divorce decrees are binding over any previous negotiations or agreements--there should be a clause in it to this effect. He should have had the "agreement" integrated into the decree. I'd say you're off the hook
I actually did this, too. It made me feel better to see that there were people out there that looked promising. I never met anyone or even really established any kind of consistent communication. But it helped to know that there were people with potential out there.
And then I started dating one of my best friends.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Neither do I.
I don't know her backstory. What happened?
yeah, but I'm the one that initiated divorce.. he's not evil, just a bit of an ass and very emotionally unavailable. So it was fairly amicable. However, he hired her right after I left because he thought I was going to rape him during the divorce process. I didn't... just took what was legally mine, probably even less.
I will probably offer to pay a fraction.. he hired her to protect his interests and she did but I don't need to pay for that.
I'm not comfortable spilling the details, but suffice it to say that after giving him many chances and re-evaluating her situation multiple times over the course of a few years, she's been emotionally done for a very long time.
Technically, yes -- only out of the house for 2 1/2 months, but everything leading up to that involved a lot of soul-searching and introspection. Rak's doing the best thing for herself and making a really smart, healthy choice. She's not damaged, she's been over him, and I don't feel like she's jumping into anything for the wrong reasons. Frankly, I'm excited for her to have more joy in her life. She's a sweetheart, and she's overdue for it.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
That's understandable. Hopefully she'll be officially divorced soon!
I think she's in one of those states where it's a long-ass time, which really sucks.
My state was a 90 day waiting period, and I thought that was absurd. Of course, I was separated for almost a year before we actually filed. Not because we weren't sure. We were sure. We were just lazy. That's pretty flameful in and of itself!
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I don't plan on dating anyone else until after I get moved in to my house and get use to being back out on my own. I've got another counseling appt on monday and going to really work through my issues now and when i'm on my own.
Going forward, I'm not sure if I really want to meet anyone else online but would rather meet someone in person. Yet I have no idea how to do this as a single mom that works full time and goes to school full time.
What about people in your classes? If not them, people around campus? Campuses are great places to meet folks!
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Zelda pretty much hit it spot on.
You can flame me, lol, but I think I'm being pretty responsible. I do NOT want to be in a relationship- I just want to get dressed up and go out and have some fun. I am in counseling, and I ran it by my counselor to see if it was too soon, and she said that it hasn't really been 2 1/2 months, I'd been detaching for much longer. I first packed my bags up last May, but ended up staying for a few more months.
My classes are online not at a campus.
-I'm too busy w/ work/studying to have a relationship but I kind of wish I could have a FWB. I know it never works out like at all so I won't but it doesn't stop the thought from crossing my mind.
-I texted J (who I went on two dates with several weeks ago) to tell him I had finally stopped pouting and decided to study for the July CFP exam. I KNOW I shouldn't have because there was the risk of him getting the wrong idea. Part of me didn't want to be rude and just peace out the way I did. But now he's texting all the time again so OBVIOUSLY that was a mistake. Sometimes I don't think.
It's probably just stress but I'd POAS just to be sure. (says the girl with the abnormally light period who is also assuming it's just stress)
That is probably a tension headache. I had a major one right around the time I was leaving my exH... I used to and still do at times, internalize my stress. I've gotten better about learning how to release it though.... try some deep breathing.
I'm 2 days late on AF. I POAS 2 days ago and it was negative, but then I'm second guessing myself because maybe my cycle is off because of stress or I counted wrong and maybe it's too early to test. It's stressful all in itself lol.
Oyyy LOL. Thank you. I'm hoping so.
Aren't you on prescription anxiety meds? I used to get extreme nausea and vertigo if I missed them by even an hour or two.
Yeah stress can mess with ovulation. You probably just O'd later than normal. Don't worry, I'm sure AF will show up as soon as you check in on Monday! She's so rude that way!