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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Party Question
I know I've kinda been blowing up your boards lately, sorry.. :-)
So DH and I agreed to throw LO's 2nd birthday in June since DH leaves for basic in early July. LO's Bday is 7/18. I'm also throwing DH a going away party. So what do you think of the dates 6/17 for LO's bday party and 6/24 for DH's party? They'll be back to back Sundays so I'm questioning if that'll be too much for people that'll be coming to both, or if it'll be too much on DH since he'll be leaving the following week. My other option would be to move one of both up a week. Like 6/10 and 6/17 instead? What are your thoughts?
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Re: Party Question
Agreed. It will be easier on you and everyone invited.
Nope.
The majority of people will be invited for both parties and I think it's asking too much for them to attend two different parties back to back...they have other obligations and things going on in their own lives. You'll probably end up with people coming to one party and not the other.
Honestly a going away party isn't any different than a birthday party or a BBQ so it's not going to bring down the mood of your LO's birthday party.
Nope. Honestly, if you think the mood of his going away party is going to be somber and would bring down a party, why would you want to have one? It's really more just so he can see people for one last time before he goes.
I would have the birthday party at like 2 and then for anyone who wouldn't be invited to that part tell them to come at like 5 or so for a cookout and drinks. Or just do everything all at once. The going away party doesn't need to be a completely separate event celebrating him leaving.
This is what I was thinking as well. Do cake, ice cream, punch, and presents for DD earlier in the day then fire up the grill later for your DH and his friends. Get some yard games and a few coolers full of drinks and I think you would make a lot of people happy.
Invite everyone to LO's party. Then invite anyone who wants to stay to hang out with YH more to stay and have drinks/hang out afterwards into the evening.
I would not go to two parties for the same family in one month. Sorry.
And like PP said, if the going away is going to be such a somber event, why have a "party" at all? It won't be very party like.
I hate to say it, but it really doesn't matter. Two weekends in the same month are too much. Even if they are separated by a full weekend. People will feel obligated to go to both, but annoyed at having to lose two weekends during summer.
Combining the parties will avoid those annoyed feelings. Like other's suggest - do an afternoon thing for your child, and have folks stay later to spend time with your H.
It's cake! How could cake be sad?
Reading comprehension fail: This is for basic??
Sorry but I'd be super pissed that you were throwing two separate parties and he's only going to basic. There's nothing somber about going to basic. It should be celebrated but nothing that requires a whole separate weekend.
I'd also like to point out the cost factor for having two parties.
If you don't want to have friends stay for the "after party" you two could organize a happy hour on a Friday night for the friends who wouldn't have attended the birthday party in the first place.
I don't think we'll have time to have a party between AIT and PCS-ing though, my understanding is he only gets 10 days home to help us move. That's what we were told anyways..
And I don't think it will be somber in any way, I know his Mom will be teary, but that's the only crying I expect (she'll cry at any mention of the army).
My understanding could be wrong but with your comment of he's not going away forever, he's is going away for a long time. After training we're all moving away for years, that seems like a long time for me and like I said I don't think he gets more then 10 days home after AIT to help us move, and he wouldn't want a party then..
You're PCSing for a few years. He'll get leave and you can go home sometimes.
Honestly, what do you have planned for the going away party that would be so different than a kids birthday party? A going away party is just people getting together one last time before someone leaves. That can be done later in the night after your kids birthday party.
Basically, unless you were one of my closest friends or very close family member, I'm not giving up 2 weekends in a row, or even 2 out of 3 weekends, to go to different family functions for you. I would honestly think you guys were AW's, especially having your kids birthday party a month early, and making me go to 2 separate events. I would pick one or the other to go to, or neither. I wouldn't go to both though, especially since I could just say goodbye to your H at the birthday party.
Judging by her post below that no one is excited for him joining, I'm starting to get that feeling as well.
So, during those 10 days, there is no time for hot dogs and a couple of beers? I think you are way over thinking this.
If you are letting the Army move you, you have nothing to do other than pack the things you will for sure need to survive while you wait on your HHG to arive. If you are doing a DITY move, i don't recomend it for your first, you can pack over the months that hes' gone. Are you expecting that no one will want to tell you and your son goodbye when y'all move to who knows where?
Agreed. I think your making way too big of a deal of all of this. Do your child's party at 2 invite those who want to to stay and have a cook out for your H afterwords.
Ok well thanks for your opinions!
As far as the AW-ing, if you knew me you'd know that's not at all what we're doing. We're doing LO's party early so DH can be there, only reason for that. And LO's party is being thrown at a kids playplace, so having people stay later for DH wouldn't work.
But again, this is why I threw it out here so I could get unbiased opinions! So thanks!
We had a 'open house' for when H left, people stopped by if they wanted to and H grilled. It was perfect. Nothing over the top and not shoving the fact he's leaving for BMT in everyones face.
10 days is actually a lot of time. Why not do a open house/party Saturday night between basic and AIT? If you have TMO (the military) move you then you will sit there, watch them pack and feed them. H had 10 days and by the last couple days we were SO ready to leave and be at his first duty station. The 'big moving day' took about 4 hours one Tuesday morning.
Well said KCD. Well said.
Um yes this could still work. You invite the people your H wants over over after the birthday party for beer and hot dogs. Not that hard at all.
So kids play place and then a couple hours later BBQ at your house.. or helll even appetizers at your place and beer.
I guess I'm the odd one, but I would not want to sit through a couple hours at a kids party and then sit through a couple more for a 'going away party'. But his could also be because I don't have kids, so it doesn't appeal to me.
That being said, it sounds like you've made up your mind. Good luck with whatever you decide!
I'm pretty sure you get 10 days leave and then another allotted time for traveling. At least this is how it was for us. He had 10 leave days and then 5 or 6 travel days
Oh that's not including the 10 days of house hunting when we got here.
The morning H got released out of Tech School we picked him up and drove home. He then had 10 days of leave (I'm pretty sure he used his leave for that though, I don't remember). Then he had 5 or 6 travel days (not using his leave). The day after we got here he had to check in, in process and then he had ANOTHER 10 days (not using his leave) for house hunting.
Hehe.. the controlling boyfriend part made me laugh.
Ok well by the sounds of it we'll have time for one after AIT so maybe I'll rethink all this...
And he will get a set amount of travel days based on how far away his new duty station is. I was given 11 travel days to get from WA to VA, which is basically opposite ends of the country. I made it in 6 and that was taking my time. The movers took 2 days to pack my house and load the truck. Other than that there is nothing for you to do, and you will be bored since you have an empty house. You will have plenty of time to get together with family and friends in there.
I would wait to have the going away party until after AIT. If you do the party now and then he goes away for a while and comes back for a while, everyone's going to want to see him again for yet another last time.
Like PPs said, you get 10 days for travel, plus the 10 days for house hunting once he in processes. You can also have your husband ask his recruiter if he'd be eligible for HRAP (hometown recruiting). My husband and I stayed in our hometown for two weeks while he worked half days at the recruiting office. He will have to work, but it could buy you some more time with friends and family.