Seattle Nesties
jennlin
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
very controversial clicky
[poll]
♥ bfp2 02/15/2012 ♥ edd 10/23/2013 ♥
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?
honeymoon bio ♥ married bio ♥ planning bio
jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?
honeymoon bio ♥ married bio ♥ planning bio
jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
Re: very controversial clicky
No question that I'm pro choice. I was raped in high school, and have a family member who also suffered sexual assault in college. also, as a Christian, Santorum's comments that rape victims should think of a child of rape as a gift from god absolutely appalled and disgusted me.
ETA: I would also never judge anyone for getting an abortion for any reason.
Oh, emy.
I'm sorry you went through this and yeah...
I am absolutely pro-choice in my views, but I think I'm pro-life in my life, but really? I don't think I'll really know unless I have to face the choice myself, but having the option for a choice? That's what counts.
I used to be pro-choice but only in instances of rape, incest, and mother's health. But as I've aged, I've actually loosened up as I've known several people who have resorted to it outside those reasons. Some women are irresponsible (and really, fact of the matter, bc comes down to the woman's responsibility), accidents happen, and some people are not strong enough to be able to go through a full pregnancy and give up the baby to adoption but also can't afford to keep the child or would be a terrible parent.
I can't get behind the extreme people who believe that it's a baby, life, murder when it's still just a blastocyst. So if you miscarriage in those super-early weeks before you might not even know you're pregnant, your body is committing murder? Replicating cells are the most basic form of life in a scientific sense, but not in a moral sense for me.
I'm sorry you went through that.
No one should have to. Ever.
I totally agree with you, wrt Santorum... but, as someone who used to live in Pennsylvania, I have to say it's a pretty typical thing for him to have said. He's an appalling man.
I'm also definitely pro-choice in all circumstances, though I do admit that I would judge someone who aborts based on the baby's sex without a valid/medical reason, though I wouldn't stop them from having the option to do it. (e.g.: Abort a girl because you don't "feel like" dealing with a girl/just want a boy/hate pink = judgey-eyebrows. Abort a girl because your/your partner's family has an genetically-linked life-quality-affecting disorder that will hit any (or even a significant percentage) girl you have = no judgey-eyebrows.)
okay you got me
. I would judge for this reason, and this reason alone 
.
And thanks for everyone's support. I'm lucky that I found the strength as a kid (I was only 14 when it happened), and my DH knows, and was very supportive throughout our relationship before I was able to fully process everything (we started dating when I was 14).
For me, I am pro-life. When I was younger I said if I got KU and wasn't ready, I would still have the baby and then put he or she up for adoption.
I believe in pro-choice only in situations like rape. IMO, if you choose to have sex, then you need to face the consequences. Harsh yes, but that's how I feel.
my currently-reading shelf:
Just curious on this one. Do you support legislation requiring this? What level of rape? Stranger rape? Date rape? Would you require a police report, or just for the girl to say she was raped?
Depends on what state you're in and when you find out, I think. I know there're states that have cut-off dates for abortions, but I think it's usually around 24wks (i.e. viability), and you can definitely know the sex for certain by then.
Nope, I do not support legislation requiring this. Rape is rape, I don't believe that stranger rape is a "worse" rape than date rape. Though I would hope a girl wouldn't lie about rape just to be able to get an abortion.
I'm not going to interrogate a girl about why she is getting one. I wouldn't require her to have a police report. Nor would I force someone to change their mind.
If you voluntarily have sex, there is always the chance you could get pregnant. You could have condoms and be on some sort of birth control, but *** happens.
my currently-reading shelf:
I think my problem with the narrow scope of exceptions is that..... well, this world sucks and rich people will always be able to get anything without any detriment to their health. Poor people who might not qualify under the rape rule would be relegated to back alleys. It's hard to define those limits knowing that the wealthy will always be able to find more exceptions.
I don't know if I would necessarily label that as rape, but I would say you did not voluntarily chose to let that happen.
IMO if the woman chooses and was not forced or tricked (sorry, can't think of a better word) then she should face the consequences.
Sorry, I'm trying to make my thoughts coherent but it's not working out so well....
my currently-reading shelf:
i'm very very pro-choice. i think it is absolutely a woman's right to choose whether or not they have to go through the difficulties of pregnancy- it's not easy. and if you can't do it, you can potentially harm the child that's growing inside of you. however, for me personally, if i were to accidentally get KTFU, i wouldn't ever-ever abort the fetus- i think that i am intelligent enough to make a decision whether or not to do the deed, and that is a consequence that i should live with.
however, there are definitely women out there, who can consenusally make the decision, but not be "all-there" enough to know the consequences. even average individuals can have an ill moment, and not realize the consequence. also condoms, bcp's, etc, are not at 100% success rates. (i think we have 2 bcp mommas on this board alone- and that's a small demographic we are dealing with).
while i am pro-choice, i would and do side-eye smart, knowing women who choose to get an abortion. i will not side-eye someone who is not physically, mentally, or financially capeable to endure a pregnancy or raise a child, and will definitely not side-eye anyone who is a victim of R.
(and i know i'm way late, but sorry emy, that you had to deal with something at a young age- i also was a victim of s-assault as a child, although not R, and i know how hard it can be to try and be "normal". my h also knows, and is very supportive--isn't it great to have wonderful men in our lives?).
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?
honeymoon bio ♥ married bio ♥ planning bio
jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
I am firmly pro-choie and I think that it's a woman's individual right to decide what to do with her body and the government has no business interferring.
And while I can appreciate that we all have different views, I frankly think it's bullsh!t to have a rape only clause. There are MANY other valid reasons why a woman might choose to have an abortion. What if she finds out the pregnancy would cost her her life? Should she be forced to deliver? And should we as a society be forcing unwanted children to be born into homes that may potentially later abuse or neglect them because they weren't wanted in the first place?
I think it's fine to say that YOU would never have an abortion unless raped, but I absolutely don't think that you have the right to tell me or any other woman what is okay to do with my body and under what circumstances.
I understand the "face the consequences" bit, but what is your take on the fact that the consequences fall nearly 100% on the woman (in reality, regardless of legal/monetary obligations due by the man) and that the life of a child born to parents who would have preferred abortion (and chose adoption or to parent) is totally and irreversibly changed (often in negative ways)?
What if a low-income married couple in a monogamous relationship use condoms and birth control (i.e., utterly responsible, but financially unstable), but get pregnant (the condom fails and they were taking BC pills recalled for being mis-packaged).
Or what if a couple uses recreational drugs, but practices safe sex and gets pregnant? The fetus is endangered, as is would be the child after it is born (assuming the parents/their friends/etc. continue with the drug use).
Or what if a fetus has a chromosomal abnormality and with abortion a legal option, the parents would choose it... i can't imagine the child would get the life it deserves being born to parents who would have preferred abortion.
Maybe i'd feel differently if accurate information were easily accessible to girls/women and boys/men of all demographics, without social/religious persecution.
ETA: edited for better progression
Best sound ever: baby's heartbeat! (Heard @ 10w1d)
Whether or not you would label that as rape, the courts would (and should).
No means no, no matter what. If you've said no, and someone disrespects your wishes, that is rape. And honestly, you do society a huge disservice by classifying it as anything *but* rape, because that implies there's a gray zone and maybe, just maybe, there are times when "no" means "I'm not sure" or "okay" or "sure, go ahead."
No ALWAYS means no. There is no gray area.
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?
honeymoon bio ♥ married bio ♥ planning bio
jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
I agree with completely. I would never force someone not to get an abortion, but I wouldn't agree with the decision. Nor would I support a bill that would make it illegal. It is a woman's choice, I just wouldn't agree with it.
If a woman who voluntarily chose to have sex, could have a healthy baby but would not be able to raise her child, I don't see why she couldn't put the baby up for adoption. A lot of people who adopt pay for the woman's medical bills and what not.
I know a lot of people will disagree with me, and that is fine. And yes there a lot of circumstances where I can see why a woman would abort.
Rape (anytime a woman says no) and heath reasons I can definitely see aborting.
I have a hard time with low income...I really don't know how I feel about that...I'm torn.
my currently-reading shelf:
That's a nice theory. It's not how it worked in Pennsylvania, though. The court found the guy innocent, essentially because I didn't scream loudly -- just said no repeatedly, asked him to leave, and tried to run away before managing to lock myself into a bathroom with my cell phone.
I am sorry to hear that happened to you. I will retract what I said and agree that no means no and it would be considered rape.
my currently-reading shelf:
♥ bfp1 06/14/2011 ♥ edd 02/22/2012 ♥
♥ baby jennlin born on 02/15/2012 ♥
who says you can only wear your wedding dress once?
honeymoon bio ♥ married bio ♥ planning bio
jumped ship to the new and improved nest. back to TB for baby boards.
This. It's not easy to be the minority anytime, and we're a strong group of women so that makes it even more difficult.
I have no problem with this. Someone has to be the minority, might as well be me!
my currently-reading shelf:
That is true, and I would be mad at myself if I backed down. It was the same way in my government class in 12th grade. I was definitely the minority in there.
my currently-reading shelf:
I would like to personally punch every one of the jury members (or the judge) in the face for failing you - and our legal system - like that.
It's all good. It can be a very, very difficult line to draw -- especially since our society, in many ways, teaches girls to ALWAYS say "no" (because only "bad girls"/"sluts" say "yes") and to make boys "convince" them to go along with any kind of sexual activity... and simultaneously teaches girls to be accommodating and "nice" and not to stand up for themselves and what they want, which effectively makes whispering "no" and then going along with it a much "easier" option for a lot of girls, regardless of what they actually want.
Which, of course, also makes things difficult for the boys -- most of whom don't WANT to rape or sexually assault anyone, but who don't generally have a ready way to TELL whether she's saying "no" because she feels like she has to say "no" even if she wants to say "yes" or if she's saying "no" because she really means "no".
It's a big societal problem. :-/