Ribth

CaliopeSpidrman · February 2012

You've been super quiet about your pregnancy. How's it going?

ribth · February 2012

Really well! I just started feeling the baby move last weekend, which was pretty exciting. I have to go to dinner with my H, but I will come back and talk later tonight.

ribth · February 2012

So, I won't start a new thread to ask this since this thread exists. I guess this question pertains to moms. So... H and I have to move to Texas at the end of July. My due date is July 13th (they moved it up at our last scan). We are going to stay here to have the baby, and than I have two options for getting down there, both of which involve driving like 3 days. Option 1 is for H and I to drive down together with the baby about 5-7 days after it is borned. This absolutely hinges on me not having a c-section, but H has to be in Texas by July 23rd. Option 2 is for H to move by himself right after the baby is born, and I stay here for 2-3 weeks until I'm healed and then drive with my sister. Mitigating factors for this choice are that I would likely have to stay with my parents for the time, and my mom and I don't really see eye-to-eye on things involving personal space and common sense (i.e. she constantly asks me if I have enough "maternity panties" and bras and if I'm having discharge and stuff that is weird to ask another person). I also don't really want to be away from my husband for 2-3 weeks while our kid is just born. So, what would you do?

modb1rd · February 2012

No kids but I would go with my H and sob quietly for the entire 3 days

Glad the pregnancy is going well

WendyToo · February 2012

Honestly, I would move before the baby (yeah, I know, that's not one of hte options you gave).

Barring that, I would expect the baby to come later than planned (and Connor was 10 days late), so you may not get the option to drive there with your H after the baby is born.

All that said, I think I would pay to ship my car and fly with the baby whenever you make the trip. Is there any way you can stay with your sister or someone other than your parents? I know she may be nearly unbearable, but I also know you'll want and need SOMEONE to be there with you the first couple weeks.

mashedpotato · February 2012

oof, that's rough, but I think I agree with Mod.

KayRI · February 2012

Neither sounds good to me. I can't imagine driving for three days with a newborn a week after giving birth.

Irishgrl417 · February 2012

KayRI:
Neither sounds good to me. I can't imagine driving for three days with a newborn a week after giving birth.

I'm sorry those are you options. Also, I'm sorry you have to move to Texas in July, that would be enough to make me cry the whole ride there.

lindsayll · February 2012

Talk about Sophie's Choice. Oy. The thought of driving 3 days with a newborn is terrifying.

Ship the car and take a plane.

KristenBtobe · February 2012

Oh god. Three days in a car with a newborn sounds horrifying. Sell the car and fly. Buy a truck with a gun rack when you get to Texas.

WendyToo · February 2012

I really think you're kidding yourself about driving. You have to feed the baby every 2 ish hours (start to start, not finish to start) at that point and feeding takes 30-45 mins. So literally almost half your time is nursing when they're that new. Is that built in to your 3 day estimate? You would get zero sleep in this situation and it just sounds unsafe.

ribth · February 2012

Flying is not an option with a newborn, in my opinion, because its immune system is too underdeveloped. That part is non-negotiable, at least for the first 30 days. Either way is going to suck, but I've never given birth before, so I can't say how it would be to ride in a car with a baby. My sister lives in Florida, so that's not really an option, either; she's just nice enough to fly up here and then drive down with me. My best friend offered to let me stay with her, which is super nice of her, but I don't want to burden them with a newborn because they will have a 9-month-old at that time. Argh, this is not fun. Thanks, everyone. PS. I'm anxious enough about giving birth that I don't want to go down there to do it. I'd basically be changing providers at 38 weeks. Also, my OB said he'd induce me on my due date if I didn't go before.

lindsayll · February 2012

Know anyone with a motorhome? Look into the cost of renting one? You may be able to tow your car behind it.

Not only does feeding take long, but there's frequently a lot of spit up/puking going on too.

I'm sorry we're being so debbie downer on this, doesn't sound like you have many options.

buddhagouda · February 2012

I don't know how standard it is, but my doctor told me I wasn't allowed to drive for two week post-partum (and to be honest I don't know that I could have) and I had a completely complication free birth.

ribth · February 2012

Ugh, this sucks. Maybe I'll stay in a hotel.

pdxmouse · February 2012

buddhagouda:
I don't know how standard it is, but my doctor told me I wasn't allowed to drive for two week post-partum (and to be honest I don't know that I could have) and I had a completely complication free birth.

I'm really curious if this is standard because no one ever told me this. I drove us home with Dimi because Mr M was too nervous.

Ribth, I would really consider moving early and switching providers. Maybe look at hospitals in the area to see if they're scary? Maybe look to see if any of the providers have websites? I'm sorry you're facing such a huge deal right around birth.

nicoleg1982 · February 2012

Honestly, I would stay with your friend w/the 9 mo. old. They're already baby-equipped and have been there, done that so much more recently. You wouldn't need tons of equipment or toys there for the baby. Also, your friend is going to better know your boundaries about panty questions. You will also feel more comfortable asking her about weird "is my body supposed to do that?" questions or breast feeding help, etc. Just be prepared to give them a HUGE thank you when you leave.

ribth · February 2012

WendyToo:
I really think you're kidding yourself about driving. You have to feed the baby every 2 ish hours (start to start, not finish to start) at that point and feeding takes 30-45 mins. So literally almost half your time is nursing when they're that new. Is that built in to your 3 day estimate? You would get zero sleep in this situation and it just sounds unsafe.

This is the kind of stuff I need to know. I wouldn't be driving, but H would be. Given all this, moving before the birth sounds a little better. I really do not want to be in an unfamiliar situation and place with a doctor and hospital that I barely know, but it might be better for all of us. This is making me really upset.

mashedpotato · February 2012

oh ribth, I'm so sorry you have to make this kind of a choice, but if moving early and delivering in TX is an option I would do that.

FallinAgain · February 2012

ribth:
WendyToo:
I really think you're kidding yourself about driving. You have to feed the baby every 2 ish hours (start to start, not finish to start) at that point and feeding takes 30-45 mins. So literally almost half your time is nursing when they're that new. Is that built in to your 3 day estimate? You would get zero sleep in this situation and it just sounds unsafe.
This is the kind of stuff I need to know. I wouldn't be driving, but H would be.

Given all this, moving before the birth sounds a little better. I really do not want to be in an unfamiliar situation and place with a doctor and hospital that I barely know, but it might be better for all of us. This is making me really upset.

But you have to stop to feed the baby regardless of who drives--carseat safety and all that.

Is it possible to get a referral from your doctor and maybe go down once or twice to meet the new doctor? I know that would be expensive but it might make you feel more comfortable.

KristenBtobe · February 2012

Honestly I would chance it with a strange doctor. Your taint will thank you.

lindsayll · February 2012

Where in Texas? We've got TX ladies on here that might be able to help with recos. Plus, can you make connections via your own professional network?

Also wondering if you could make a doctor connection, maybe make a visit in the next couple of weeks to meet in person, continue seeing your local doctor until the move, meanwhile Skyping with the TX doctor every few weeks so there's some level of familiarity?

It sucks, for sure, but I'm sure there are ways to work with it and make it not so bad/scary to change so late in the game. I realize it's not quite the same, but I switched providers at 30 weeks, it can and does happen, sometimes for the better.

TheDuckis · February 2012

This sounds like exactly the kind of plan I'd have made 4 months ago, and I would be regretting the sht out of it today. Honestly, I'd be raising hell with H's company to either change the move date by at least a month one way or the other.

If those are really your only two options, I'd pick 3 day drive with a newborn and my H. As hard as that would be, I would not be able to handle a 3 week separation from H right now. I'm doing a whole lot of crying over nothing, and he's the only one I want around.

ribth · February 2012

FallinAgain:
But you have to stop to feed the baby regardless of who drives--carseat safety and all that.
Is it possible to get a referral from your doctor and maybe go down once or twice to meet the new doctor? I know that would be expensive but it might make you feel more comfortable.

I was thinking of the tiredness/driving safety issue, but yeah, it would also take forever. I'm going to call my OB friend tomorrow and discuss this. We have to go down in May to find housing, so I could see whatever provider was willing to accept me then. Unless one of the OB grads from our hospital went down there, I doubt my doc could refer me to someone, but I will ask him. This changes the plan we discussed before, but it's so early that it probably doesn't matter. Thanks everyone. I feel so naive about all this stuff. We're going through a lot of changes all at once, so it's a bit overwhelming. And work has been killing me lately, so I think that's not helping right now.

WendyToo · February 2012

nicoleg1982:
Honestly, I would stay with your friend w/the 9 mo. old. They're already baby-equipped and have been there, done that so much more recently. You wouldn't need tons of equipment or toys there for the baby. Also, your friend is going to better know your boundaries about panty questions. You will also feel more comfortable asking her about weird "is my body supposed to do that?" questions or breast feeding help, etc. Just be prepared to give them a HUGE thank you when you leave.

I also agree with this.

WendyToo · February 2012

ribth:
FallinAgain:
But you have to stop to feed the baby regardless of who drives--carseat safety and all that.

Is it possible to get a referral from your doctor and maybe go down once or twice to meet the new doctor? I know that would be expensive but it might make you feel more comfortable.
I was thinking of the tiredness/driving safety issue, but yeah, it would also take forever.

I'm going to call my OB friend tomorrow and discuss this. We have to go down in May to find housing, so I could see whatever provider was willing to accept me then. Unless one of the OB grads from our hospital went down there, I doubt my doc could refer me to someone, but I will ask him. This changes the plan we discussed before, but it's so early that it probably doesn't matter.

Thanks everyone. I feel so naive about all this stuff. We're going through a lot of changes all at once, so it's a bit overwhelming. And work has been killing me lately, so I think that's not helping right now.

Insist on a referral of some sort from your current OB, complete with him/her making contact with new dr on your behalf. I moved cross country at 28 weeks and it was hard to find a provider willing to take a new patient so late. Having your current OB review your history with the new doc will help open doors.

ribth · February 2012

He would give me a referral to anyone if I asked, but I want a personal reputation referral, especially if I'm switching that late in pregnancy. I really want someone that either our hospital trained or that is known by someone that I trust to have a good reputation. That's the other reason I want to talk to my OB friend; I need her opinion on how feasible it is to switch so late; this is now my H's favorite option.

nicoleg1982 · February 2012

Agreed. Start this process way before 30 weeks, as that is the usual cut off for doc's accepting new/transferred patients. And I'm sure that some TX REers would be willing to help in any way at all.

ribth · February 2012

Anyone know a good OB in San Antonio?

scienarasucka · February 2012

TOTALLY agree about trying to move early if it's an option. And, the earlier the better. Being very pregnant in a car or a plane is miserable.

WendyToo · February 2012

I know it's all very stressful right now, and your options do suck, but at the end of the day you COULD do any of them (with the possible exception of driving within 2 weeks of the birth. I wasn't allowed to, but I had a c/s).

I drove a giant pickup with a motorcycle in the back and 2 dogs in the cab by myself from seattle to OKC at 28 weeks (exH was driving a moving truck, towing my car). It sucked, but we made it.

When Connor was born, J was working a few hours away. We came home from the hospital Saturday afternoon and on Sunday he had to leave to go back. Again, it sucked, but we made it (my sisters are super awesome and came to help me out - and it's a good thing they did since I had some complications that rendered me pretty useless for a couple of days and was readmitted to the hospital a week later).

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