What was mine, you ask?
Oh, well. As we were prepping for this move, I was becoming more and more aware that I had no idea where my trusty vibrator was. And I knew Mr. Winged would be doing a big chunk of moving my things, so I put a lot of effort into finding it. To no avail.
Now, he obviously knows I have it, doesn't care, etc etc. But it's still not something we talk about at the dinner table or whatever.
So, yesterday, I hear him go "turn off turn off turn off" while laughing and I am all "whaaaa?". So I go into the bedroom and there he is, holding my big purple vibrator. as it's vibrating. and laughing. and then he starts this dance jumping and going "shut it off shut it off" to me.
Cue Dagger walking in. Who thinks it's dance party time. And thinks that he should say everything we say. Then he says "mine" and reaches for it. Still vibrating.
I die.
Re: Share your embarrassing story
Hahahaha! When your child is in therapy someday he'll be like "My parents were hippies. I can't totally remember, but I think one time they had this weird vibrator dance party..."
My embarrassing story is that I have phone videos from the Bahamas of me with dolphins, but I haven't posted them on FB or showed to them people - because Heith was filming me from behind. My bathing suit bottoms were a tad big, and I didn't notice they were riding rather low when I got in the water. I'm kind of standing on a platform in butt deep water. So my butt crack is front and center the whole time.
Baby Boxer is coming! 5.23.12
www.focushunting.com
I appreciate your effort jens. But to truly alleviate my suffering, I think you must share the video.
Ass Crack Fever to the tune of Cat Scratch Fever is playing in my head.
lol
you need MoaningMyrtle to tell you the dildo tornado story
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
omg lol. I just googled dildo tornado nest and found it:
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/37169372.aspx
You go straight to hell.
I love this story. Your H didn't know you have vibrator?
MoaningMyrtle WINS.
we all fall down sometimes
brass and ballet flats
Once, a long time ago, I lost a vibrator. A long, gleaming, silver one. And I forgot about it, it was so long ago.
So dh and I got a new bed about five years ago. Delivered, too. The delivery men were a father/two sons team. Who all came in, picked up the mattress and box springs, and lo and behold, there it was. On the carpeted floor, right in the center of the metal bedframe.
I turned to stone, and have not been the same since. I made dh tip them 10 dollars each.
And before you ask, YES I vacuumed under there, but I guess it was dark enough and the carpeting was kind of lumpy there, and it was not visible from the side of the bed where I vacuumed from.
Oh. And when I lost that old vibrator? I went and bought a new one. One of my college students was the cashier at the adult store I bought it from. OMG.
sue sue, you dirty dog. It's a whole new side of you!
And exactly tasty! EXACTLY
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Mine is a mix of gross and embarrassing, and by embarrassing I mean sad.
We made some North Carolina BBQ yesterday for the game. We don't have a smoker, so we just made it in the crockpot with some Liquid Smoke. All of this was new to us, we've never attempted pulled pork before. Anyway... It was awesome. I was drinking. And I was eating. A lot. And I guess I really started drinking after the half when the kids were in bed. I don't remember drinking as much as I did, but I guess that's the way it works. Anyway, anyway... I remember Pete shaking me awake on the couch to go upstairs and go to bed. No problems, I was even able to wash my face and brush my teeth. We're good to go. Bedtime. Sleeping. Suddenly awake. Not feeling good. Burping weird flavors. I went to the bathroom and as soon as my eyes saw the toilet, they sent an urgent message to my stomach. I threw up like bulimic after an all you can eat buffet, I swear to sh!t my stomach must have stopped processing its contents before kickoff, I threw up so much. And then, things got painful. I was throwing up what felt like pure acid and then my throw up started getting darker. It went from a nice, happy salmon color to an angry, hate-filled maroon. You guys, I was freaking out that I was throwing up blood. I woke Pete up and made him come and investigate my puke with me. And he tried! God love him, he looked in that bowl to see if there was blood in there. And then he got to see a fresh batch. When I was all like *blink*blink*, "Am I dying?" He was all, "No, it's wine." But dudes, I was drinking white wine all night. I guess I had a glass of red before I passed out on the couch, but I would think the red would have come out first, not last.... I tried debating that solid argument mid-heaves but he wasn't having it. I think he was tired and didn't really want to deal with the hospital and stuff, he was just trying to get me to go to bed. Well, I went... But I laid awake all night/morning picturing a hole in my esophagus or an ulcer in my stomach, filling up with blood. So, I'm kind of tired and a little strung out this morning.
Anyway, anyway, anyway.... North Cackalacky BBQ cannot be recreated correctly north of the Mason-Dixon line because it makes you throw up pretend blood and get into bizarre arguments on the laws of digestion and the order of consumption.
The relationship Grimace and I have is our own.
I don't know. He has his own separate porn, I have my toy. We do enjoy some porn together as well, but he has no interest in toys in the bedroom with us. It's just not his preference.
oh god hezz. How scary.
But, I think blood would look different from wine. If he saw wine, I am sure it was since he was more with it.
I do not think vomit layers in your stomach like a truffle, so I think it is possible that the wine could have nestled in at the bottom.
Jesus, this thread took off down a one way street, sorry to mix barfing with diddling stories. I started typing while making the kids their lunch and didn't finish until after I put them down to nap.
Carry on.
I was waiting for the part when your threw up your vibrator.
oh hezz. jeebus. i am laughing and feeling sorry for you and making disturbing mental illustrations.
these are all good stories. i better come up with one so i'm not just here hardy harr harring at everyone else.