D.C. Area Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Not sure who's on for QOTD, so I'll throw out another...
If you could plan another wedding for you and your DH, what, if anything, would you do differently than the wedding you had?
Re: Not sure who's on for QOTD, so I'll throw out another...
Photography! We had a very limited budget and used a family friend, and I really was not that happy with our wedding photos. If I could go back, we would shell out the money for a professional.
ETA: I also would have had my mom save us more cookies. We had a cookie bar at the reception with lots of cookies made by family and friends (13 kinds or something like that) and I had a total of 1 cookie. By the time we got back from the HM, they were gone.
I never, ever want to plan a wedding ever, ever again.
so, i'd do everything the exact same.
Baby248 - ETA 1/10/13
I loved my wedding, but there are a few things I would have done differently:
I drank the Most Popular Photographer on the MN Knot Board KoolAid, and while the photographs were beautiful, he was overbooked and it took almost 6 months to get my wedding photos back.
I would have a theme/style for the event. We got engaged in late Oct, and planned an early Sept wedding, so I felt like I was under the gun to get things lined up. Hence, I had no idea what I wanted and didn't take the time to think of a style that captured us as a couple.
I would get a videographer, and have a photobooth.
I really wanted a birdcage veil, and I tried/bought a handful of styles, but couldn't get it to work with my dress - it would have been a total style-clash. So I guess I would select a more simple yet elegant dress that wouldn't compete with a fancy birdcage veil.
I would have smiled/goofed off more for our wedding photos. Too many are the "dramatic romance novel serious faces". There isn't one where we are hamming it up for the camera, which is what both of our personalities are.
for the most part, i loved our wedding but there are definitely a few things i'd change given the opportunity.
i would have had my bff as MOH and that's it. the other friends i had in my wedding party really didn't really understand the significance of being a part of our day.
i would have taken DH up on his offer to handle all calls with my mom in the last few weeks before our wedding. she caused stress instead of alleviating it. and given that she wasn't paying for anything, i just really needed her to be even a little helpful.
i would have made sure our officiant kept the cermony short & sweet. she was wonderful but she went on forever. when we watch our wedding video, we fast forward through the ceremony!
i'd have loved a photo booth at our wedding too
We'd get a photographer.
DH and I eloped and we forgot to get a photographer. We got married at an inn and one of the guests took some pictures for us. We had the reception in Manhattan two months later. Our venue no longer exists (Tavern on the Green). I loved the fact that they had everyone on staff (florist, dj, etc) and I didn't really have to do anything.
I was married before and did the whole hoopla-- spent a year planning, had a designer gown, 5 bridesmaids, welcome bags, etc, etc, There's no way I'd do that again.
I'd have a DOC. My mom took the brunt of the day-of madness and nearly missed me getting dressed, etc., because there was no one else to handle all the questions that popped up.
I'd be on time! The ceremony started 15 minutes late because mom and I were still running around like crazy ladies, and that pushed back every other event on our timeline.
Finally, I really, really regret that we were unable to find a way to get my grandfather to attend. He would have needed an "assistant" and probably would have asked my mom a billion times who was getting married (dementia), but, now that he's gone, I'm always sad that I don't have any wedding photos of him and me or him and my mom?I was his only grandchild, and mom was his only child. There was just no way around it though. I know it made my mom very sad too.
Scout
Chocolate Blog!
I'd have made my mom's hair appointment first. She was a true Mom-zilla and took her hair down TWICE in the salon and made the stylist re-do it (so, 3 total updos). She was 90 min late to the wedding- we would have had to do it without her if we hadn't scheduled pictures first. Instead, we just wasted several hundred dollars worth of photography because of the hold up.
Stand up for something you believe in.
I was really happy with our wedding overall, just would have made a few minor adjustments:
-It was really, really hot the day of our wedding, and apparently the venue's AC wasn't that strong. I would have had them put in fans, or do something to accomodate.
-We let our photographer basically dominate our time during the cocktail hour, so we missed the entire thing. We should have put our feet down on that.
-I would have used a different videographer. We went with a recommendation from a friend, and I wasn't very happy with the results.
If I had to plan another first wedding, I would basically do the same as what I did (with the exceptions from above). If I had to plan a second wedding, I would definitely elope this time. Wedding planning is stressful!
are our moms long lost sisters? my mom was all "i want to put my dress on last." seriously, mom?! the first few photos that our photographer took of my mom & i show all of my frustration with her just in my eyes. obviously, those were left out of the album but i kind of like having them for my own record.
I would have gotten a videographer. Our ceremony was really personal--we wrote it ourselves--and we also had a choreographed first dance, but we only have pictures of that which isn't that same.
I wish I had gone over the music better with our trio, because they never played the bridal march and just kept playing another song until we gave up and walked out (no one else noticed though).
Um . . . let's just say I wish I had introduced my mom to the concept of Certain-Dri beforehand.
Otherwise, ours was totally awesome.
TTC #2: BFP 12/17/11, m/c 1/7/12 and D&C 1/12/12
baby blog/cooking blog
I would have let my bridesmaids pick any style dress they wanted. I had a strapless gown and insisted on strapless gowns for them, and it did them no favors.
I would have also eaten more cake. I paid a lot of money for a cake and I only had two bites.
I feel pretty lucky those are my gripes!
I have the same gripe!! I actually think I'm going to call up and get the same baker to make one for V-Day, which also happens to be DH's birthday.
OMG it's me! And I completely forgot!!!!!!!! I'm so so so sorry - I thought I'd put it on my calendar. I will pick up tomorrow and can do all of next week, too.
QOTD fail!
I would have shelled out $ for a videographer. We didn't really think we needed one - we're not really "me me" types of people and I couldn't envision watching the video again. But - DH's father and grandfather and my BIL and grandmother have all passed since then, and I would love to see them on video that day, especially my FIL's very touching toast that he made to us. I would have communicated better with DH about when to send the photographer home...we decided we didn't want the photographer snapping shots of everyone late in the night (read: drunk), but DH didn't talk to me before he sent the photographer home so we didn't get any good shots of me dancing with my dad (we dispensed of all the "father/daughter, mother/son dances and formalities). Finally, I wish we either started formal dance lessons earlier or just skipped them altogether. We tried to double up on lessons and squish them all in a 3 week period - total waste of money since our dance sucked - my fault since I'm the uncoordinated one!
But all in all, I loved our wedding. I would do it all again in a heartbeat, even if I couldn't have the changes I stated here.
My Food Blog
I would have:
- chosen a different photographer. I'm happy with our pics, but would have loved some more creative poses- our photog was more traditional.
- chosen the other reception hall we looked at- I was pleased with the one we chose (minus the coordinator), but I loved the other one (problem was their minimum).
- invited more people- I thought more would show up than did- didn't take into account college graduations in May.
- hired a DOC- I feel bad that my parents had to go back to the church to get stuff out of there at the end of the night.
That sounds like a lot, but I really did love our wedding as was. One thing that was out of my control but wish I could change would be to have my grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousins there. Now that my grandparents are gone, it makes me really sad to not have them in any pics or the video.
Planning Bio
I would have gotten a different photographer. The company we used had great proofs and good recommendations so I went with them but they were clueless.
I had a specific "set" of pictures I wanted that they didn't get. Also one of the group pictures that was very important to my family (all the cousins only) they only took one of and I was in mid blink... NOT happy.
I'd also have gotten a new limo driver. We paid for the escalade stretch limo but got "bought out" since it was prom and a father told the company he'd pay doulble their price for it so we got told that escalade was having repair problems. The driver we did get (and the limo) was bad.. he didn't know how to get from chruch to reception, he closed the door on my dress (and ruined it with the grease marks).
All in all those were minor hiccups.
photography and video budgets would be greatly increased
floral budget would be negligent. it makes me ill to think how much money we spent on flowers. like, seriously?
i would also have shopped more for a gown that wouldn't break the bank. i didn't spend a fortune, it was only about 5% of our total costs, but i still wish i hadn't spent that much.
i wish i'd cared more about what our cake looked like. it was really tasty (we really cared about what it tasted like), but really boring to look at.
now that we are older, i have an appreciation for more alternative approaches to wedding ceremonies and receptions. an idea my mom suggested that i poopooed on now sounds appealing:
cocktail party style reception, starting at 8pm, in a fancy lobby with a jazz band and the ceremony sort of right in the middle of the evening. skip all the traditional bridal party stuff, just a super swanky and sophisticated evening! maybe a signature cocktail, wine and extravagant hors d'oeuvres instead of a meal.
DH and i want to have a vow renewal when we get to 25 years, and i think this is what we'll do!
If I was all-knowing, I would go back and change our wedding day to the week before, because that weekend had gorgeous weather, the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and the city put on a fireworks show that was visible from our reception location. That would've been awesome. Unfortunately, it's not something I could've known when we chose our date.
I really wouldn't change too much. I do wish I would have gotten a better quality videographer and fought harder for the photobooth I wanted. And that I had more candid pictures with my family but we were all spread out all over the place and hardly together to snap them. I also wish I had an appetite to eat - I'm so glad we're going to another wedding this year because the food was so good, or so I'm told!
While I enjoyed our wedding, I would have made a lot of different decisions.
First, I would have booked a smaller/more intimate venue, that was a little easier to access by car. Actually, I would have preferred a semi-destination wedding, or something at a winery or the beach - but I still don't think I could convince DH to do it.
I would have starved myself and worked out like a fiend.
And, I would have gotten more portrait-like photos of DH and I together.
I would have hired a different transportation company. One of our drivers quit upon arrival at the reception (with another load of people waiting to be picked up at the church...) Me yelling the F*bomb at him for getting lost probably didn't help matters. LOL. A knottie was waiting inside the door, with two shots of vodka. That made me feel much better.
The things I wouldn't change: I loved our church service/actual wedding ceremony. I think our priest totally nailed it, and the church looked beautiful. I loved our rehearsal dinner. I made all of the food (lasagna, salad, garlic bread), and it was in a really comfy room at our hotel. My uncle brought homemade wine. We invited pretty much everyone - there were probably 75 people there. Everyone mingled and had a lovely time. I loved my Dad's speech at the wedding. He wrote something, had DH translate it to French, memorized it in French, and delivered it wonderfully!
In hindsight, I'd actually do a lot of things differently.
-Just invite all the damn kids and pay for it and not worry about it. We tried to avoid having umpteen toddlers (partly because we had to buy them adult meals) but it was a huge debacle and was so not worth the drama that it caused. My bad.
-Thought harder about my dress. I went for something simple and inexpensive, which was a good choice, but I didn't love it and still don't love it in photos.
-Shell out more for photography. I cringe at a lot of our photos. I loved them at the time, but now that I know a little more about photography I realize that we really did get what we paid for.
-Not had so much to drink. We got in a stupid fight at the end of the night which probably could have been avoided.
I still like the venues we chose and people still say how great the food and music was, so I guess it was a decent time for everyone overall.
The only big change I would've made is to hire a different caterer. They were terrible onsite managing the dinner service.
The other minor change is I would've given everyone different directions to the reception. Taste of Georgetown and World Bank protests were not our friends.
The rest I loved. It was a magical day for me. PS We did have kids at our wedding, 30+ kids, I loved having them there. They made the dance floor electric.
A back up plan for my officiant, who had a family emergency and didn't make it!
I would have hired a DOC, and I would have realized that my FI (lol) inherited his bad sense of direction from his family and hired a driver for them.
I would have gone ahead and invited the random knotties I kept emailing--almost 6 years later, I still keep in touch with many IRL.
oh, there are a few knotties i would have invited too!