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Would this upset you?
A mechanic that works on/helps put together military vehicles (for a contractor) goes to work in Afghanistan for 6 months. The wife portrays herself on FB as a military wife. Complete with pictures of herself wearing Tshirts saying..."Do you know what time it is in Afghanistan? I DO, I'm a DOD wife", and buying faux dog tags and posting pics online.
She then gets into a "battle" via FB with other posters because someone pointed out he chose to go and while they appreciated what he was doing, he was getting compensated way above what an actual military servicemember is making over there. Her comeback to that was that we do not have a draft and therefore everyone is making that choice.
My DH is bent out of shape, although he would never say anything to the wife or her husband.
Re: Would this upset you?
As am I.
OP, yes this would annoy me. I'd probably provide a link to DOD contractor salaries and enlisted service member salaries...but that's just me.
Ditto. Other than the dog tags(which is a whole other issue) how is she portraying a military wife?
Ditto what Stan said.
But not for nothing, the other poster does have a point. All service members make that choice when they join the military. While I don't think contractors have the same gig at all, it's voluntary for MH too.
Better question...does she like the letters SDSU?
*snort*
Is she from San Diego?
Exactly. It's the AW factor that's probably bothering people.
She is daily posting all these military motivational/inspirational quotes,poems. Professing her undying love and devotion to him. Posting what a sacrifice it is for the 3 year old and 3 month old (at the time he left) but that they are so strong and he is doing this for his family. All these "he's service to his country" posts. She's joined or "liked" military wives FB sites (we can see that with all this new FB feed crap)Just in general if you didn't know, you'd think they were a military family. It's over the top.
It wouldn't upset me, but it would make me roll my eyes pretty hard. Like others have said, it would annoy me coming from anyone. But I don't see where's she's portraying herself as a military wife.
Anyway, while her H isn't in the military, it can still be dangerous for contractors, and he's still in Afghanistan for an extended period of time. AW'ing aside, she's allowed to miss him and be proud of his work.
She just sounds like an AW. And TBH it's probably because there aren't any "Support the contractors" sites. It does feel like a deployment to her and her family. He's gone and she's allowed to miss him. Regardless of his status. Sure it's not quite the same but you're comparing apples to oranges. If MH went to Afghan as a contractor, I'd correct people and say he's not actually on a deployment but that's because we're both enlisted and know better. She probably doesn't know how to handle it and is a big AW. *shrug* whatever.
*edited to fix a typo*
Yeah, it's over the top, and she sounds like she's a major beebee. But really, she's just making herself look foolish.
And it is a sacrifice for the kids just the same as it is for kids of military families. Military families do not have a monopoly on strength and sacrifice.
I'd agree except she DOES know better. Her brothers are military.
I think everyone has recognized the safety concerns and don't down play that to her whatsoever, but I think you are right, it's the AW part that has a lot of the people annoyed.
Hide and delete.
Or, tell her to take it down a notch. Although I suspect it won't go over well.
Obviously I don't condone her portraying herself as a "military wife" but at some point I think it probably gets tiresome to explain to people that her husband is actually a contractor, and that while he is in Afghanistan he's not in the military, but is actually in as much (if not more) danger than some service members serving over there. Probably the only people she could find who understand her are military spouses.
Also, I know a lot of contractors who serve over there who physically wouldn't qualify for military service due to minor medical issues, and some with religious convictions that prevent them from serving in a combat capacity. So they chose to serve their country as civilians.
But still, trying to pass herself off as a military wife ins't really cool....
That could never hurt.
ITA. Thank you for saying what I was attempting to.
I don't like the AWing, but other than salary, she's in a very similar boat to pretty much everyone who's a mil spouse, arguably with less support. She doesn't have an FRG, she doesn't have a base community or anyone checking in on her. Twotrue's wife is a contractor, and we welcome her over here as someone who's going through the same things.
One of my close mil friends, who's gone on a shitton of deployments as has her husband, has a brother who's a contractor. He was shot in Afghanistan. Thankfully, emergency open heart surgery saved his life. I'm pretty sure their family doesn't view their deployments any differently just b/c they have a different employer. In fact, he's the one who's almost always in far more danger, and I'm guessing they worry about him most.
Frankly, I find the pearl clutching as eyeroll worthy as the AW posting and dog tag buying.
But it doesn't sound like your husband is complaining about the volume and the tone, it's about her choice of words. He's certainly not on vacation over there.
Don't freak out about things you can't control. Sure, tell the woman about OPSEC, for safety, but you don't get to choose how often she gets to AW her life. She still has her freedom to express herself the way she chooses.
Really, it isnt a big deal.
Fact.
And I agree 100% with Sibil. Contractors deploy even if they do make more money. My H currently works with contractors and most are prior service. The only real difference between him and a few others -- He shows up wearing a uniform and is addressed as "Rank Last Name" instead of Mr. So and So or first name.
Would I be annoyed? Maybe. But do I understand? Yes. A family member is a contractor and the crappiness of cold showers, being shot at, being away from family - still the same.
Word!
Several of my very good friends are contractors. They work right along side the military. They are on many of the very same missions. A man who I considered to be one of my brothers was working as a contractor 2 years ago. He was on a mission to rescue a man who had been kidnapped. The regular Army units in the area refused the mission because they thought it was too dangerous. The contractors, all former Spec Ops, were sent in. My friend and two others were killed.
Contractor's spouses have no support groups. There are no FRGs. They are on their own. My H's unit has contractors who deploy with them. Their wives are not included in any of our meetings. They receive a phone call 24 hours before their husbands will be home. That's it. We are currently working to find a way to include them. Their husbands are with ours. They should be given the same info we are given and have the same opportunities to gather for support that we have.
Yes, the chick is annoying. Either delete her, block her or reach out to her. She sounds like she needs it. Either way, I think y'all are on a high horse you should consider getting off of.