Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Would you go?
While it may appear I have made up my mind, I'll agonize over it until I do it. Depending on what it is, I have a hard time just pulling the trigger. I have to make sure I can cover all my bases. The reason I open up to a message board is so make sure there isn't anything else that I may have not thought about.
Exposing your son to a new guy waaaaaaaaaay too early on should be your biggest concern, but it doesn't even appear to be on your radar. Your mom and sis, as well as several others here, have pointed this out but you're choosing to ignore it. So go and have fun!
While I admit that it is way early on, I've introduced him to many guys that were just friends from previous duty stations that new XH. I've waited before introducing guys to DS only for DS to not care for them. All DS has known is women in his life so it's harder for him to get attached to Men (heck it was hard for him to even want anything with his dad from birth). I will adhere to the advice of not allowing J to stay with us at the hotel. For the most part we will be in a group setting vs one on one.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I honestly wouldn't even consider it. It's been such a short amount of time, I don't thing all the things that were wrong or bothering you two weeks ago are suddenly fixed. I don't think it is in the best interest of your son OR YOU to run off to Germany for this guy.
If you want to go to Germany, go on your own accord...not to see some dude.
Don't go. You just left your dh. You're already latching on to another man. It's way, way too soon.
Also, is the divorce final? Because you traveling to Germany with your child to see another man can injure you in a custody battle, if there is one. Why will you not take the time you need to heal, figure out who you are, and just be you alone for a bit? What is it that you have to hang off this man so fast?
This. I was trying to figure out how to say this. I broke up with my XBF right before you broke up with Z and i immediately replaced him with my new Crush. it was a BAD idea bc I went WAY to fast with the new guy and just jumped from one to the other. Things with that new guy are now over.
Stupid Nest froze on my earlier.
I think ya'll have me confused with someone else. My divorce has been final since June but XH walked out Oct 2008 and hasn't been heard from with the exception of our child support increase hearing. He has no say in DS life at all.
I broke up with Z the last week of January. This guy and I have been in touch for about a year strictly as friends. It just somehow turned the other direction. I know him and am comfortable with him. I can tell him things and not get the "oh cry a river and get over it". He understands.
I broke it off with Z Jan 31. To be honest I should have broke it off sooner and not let him guilt me in to sticking it out. I'm taking it slow but I'm pretty sure the opportunity to go over there won't be in the cards later. My life tends to be now or never.
My son will start school next year, I'm still in school and I'd have to arrang it around my school schedule which might not work for his schedule. It just so happens I have a week off from school the end of April then go straight until the Summer. In which I will have 2 weeks off but traveling anywhere then will be more expensive.
Then take in to account that I have no idea of what life will bring. I want more kids in the next few years and so if I don't go now then it will be later on when my kid(s) are much older.
My son will start school next year, I'm still in school and I'd have to arrang it around my school schedule which might not work for his schedule. It just so happens I have a week off from school the end of April then go straight until the Summer. In which I will have 2 weeks off but traveling anywhere then will be more expensive.
Then take in to account that I have no idea of what life will bring. I want more kids in the next few years and so if I don't go now then it will be later on when my kid(s) are much older.
I'm not sure you'll even check this again but you do realize it is Feb. 18, right?! 18 days is NOT taking it slow after breaking it off with Z and being adamant about getting your life together by YOURSELF. You've had a slew of stress between living with family, your son, school, work & your house...you are not taking it slow! This new guy has your head very clouded with all the fun, new parts of starting a relationship. Take a step back- there will be some time in your life that you can travel to Germany when you can do it the right way- with your son/family/whatever. Use the money you came into for your new house or put it away until you can plan another vacation. You are your own worst enemy right now. Stay out of a relationship and learn to be alone for awhile-- you even said your mom and sister were worried about you traveling with your son because you've never had to parent him by yourself.