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How do you ladies weigh in on this?
http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/63229189.aspx
I'm sure you girls have talked about this before, but I'm new so bear with me.
In the interest of full disclosure, I will state that I don't have kids, so maybe my perspective is skewed. I have no problem with bfing, but think moms should try to be discreet. Not saying that they shouldn't feed their kid when they are hungry, but not everyone wants to see your boobies. These militant bfers who have the attitude of "I'll do what I want, when I want and you can't say anything because you want me to starve my baby by taking 2 seconds to put on a cover" just give all bfers a bad name.
What say you TIP?
P.S. I don't actually hang out on the bump due to the fact that I don't have kids. I saw this in a link to a different post.
Re: How do you ladies weigh in on this?
Not appropriate at all. And those who thought it was okay for her to completely bare her breasts in public like that are weirdos.
Nursing in public is fine, showing your bare breasts is not.
It actually comes down to poor manners. Other people breastfeeding does not bother me, but I appreciate the warning. I did not like bf-ing in public but did discreetly when necessary. If I wore a top that prevented discretion, I'd go elsewhere. I have huge boobs, and it just always felt awkward around people I do not know. A quick warning that you'd like to nurse is not difficult.
Really? This again?
I'm sorry
Please forgive me
I'm guessing this is in reference to another post? Link?
Link is in the OP. It's why I started this post. I guess I was surprised (and not surprised) by the amount of flaming the poster got.
sigh. You pretty much forced me to f*ckin say this, and it really makes me hate myself: this is one of those things you don't understand until you have kids. Or, more precisely, until you have a slightly older kid.
Even when Joaquin was bitty, I was like, I don't understand! It takes like a second! Use a cover! But then she got big and cognizant enough to have a will of her own. BFing with a cover is impossible for me now. I have a super thin awesome blanket that I wrap around and tuck into my bra and then drape over her. She immediately screeches and starts yanking, screeching until the blanket is off her face, with my tit hanging in the wind.
If you have a cat, grab your cat and try to lay them in a BFing-style position, cover them with a blanket against your chest, lift your shirt, move them around a little bit to simulate trying to get them to find your boob to latch, and then give them a treat. It's fairly similar in terms of discretion.
This part makes me LOL. We have enough trouble trying to give our cat eye drops. This scenario give me chills, thinking of the scratch and bite marks that would ensue if I tried this.
This.
I have used a cover, a lot.
Mostly because if I didn't, I'd be hanging in the wind a lot. But really, covers aren't the be-all and end all and often, they just draw a lot mroe attention to things.
But, for cereal, I grew up in a almost-fundie household an dI have the world's most awkward father...he's gotten over it and can be in the same room w/ me while I BF Buffy (w/ a cover, FWIW. But the cover isn't always in place either, FWIW). If he can learn to get over it, anyone can.
I get that it's easier said than done to just be like, "Use a cover!"
I will say, though, that if you do struggle with nursing as your child gets older because they don't want to hold still, etc. then maybe it's a good idea to try to avoid nursing in public since you might be exposing your t!ts and it makes people uncomfortable.
Yes, yes. Bewbies shouldn't make people uncomfortable, yada yada yada.
But I feel that cursing shouldn't make people uncomfortable either and I avoid doing a lot of it (or any of it, for that matter) while I'm in public because I know it offends people.
eta: Look, you've got to do what you've go to do to feed your baby. In this context, the woman lifted up her shirt, waited a while before letting the baby latch and continued to sit there exposed. That's rude and annoying however you try to justify it.
Also, boobs are for, you know, feeding babies. Everyone should GTF over it already. From references in FMIL's response, I'm guessing this came from a post about some idiot on the extreme end of the spectrum. 99.999% of women out there aren't looking to flash anyone. I don't think covers or warnings are necessary. If anything, it just calls MORE attention to it. Let someone feed their damn kid, and god forbid you accidentally see a fvkking nipple in the process.
I breastfed my kids until the age of two and at no time did I need to show my breasts to anyone. I managed to do it fine with minimal exposure.
Why not just show as little as possible while still able to breastfeed properly? There is nothing wrong with that. (completely exposing both breasts doesn't seem necessary)
You should really read the linked post. Its not about accidentally showing nip. I have no problem with that. The woman in the post seemed to be exposing herself for no good reason (as in over the top for someone bfing).
Yup. Mine is younger, but she's pretty much stopped being willing to eat with a cover over her head, too. I like having a jacket with a top I can pull down, but that doesn't work all the time. And honestly, the way most women BF, if you see anything indiscreet, it's because you're looking for it. Don't stare and you won't see something you wish you hadn't.
Sooooo, nursing moms should just stay home if there's a chance the baby might fuss and not allow a cover? And how the heck do you compare nursing in public and swearing to swearing in public? For real, PW?
Awwww pedantic, come on. So what, exactly, are we supposed to do? Sit our @sses at home until the kid is 2 (or whatever age you stop)?
FWIW, I have a feeling that the OP in the link is exaggerating the story. I've known many BFers and have seen many BFers in public. Never once have I ever seen a woman just take off her top and let the boobs hang out for 2 minutes before the baby latches. I think this is extremely rare, if it even happened at all (in this case).
I agree with broc. Some children simply will not nurse with a cover (especially as they age and want to look around).
My strategy this time around will be to have a nursing tank underneath my regular shirt. Then I don't have back/belly and bare minimum boob exposed for feedings. Ideally, no one will even see a flash of nip.
I don't agree with the sentiment that a woman should have to move to a private room (often a bathroom), stay home, let baby just cry, bring a bottle, or use a cover. I think that BFing can be done discreetly without those things.
I will say that if that story is 100% true and not at all embellished, I would think her behavior rude. I'm not worried about my child being exposed to a nude body, but if there was other children present or people who are offended by nudity, it was insensitive to pull her shirt up and sit there topless. It takes all of a second to pull your shirt back into place after feeding and then tend to baby.
Edited for spelling.
Just like there's a gray area between demure BFing and an episode of MILF Island, there's a gray area between being quietly squicked out and gawking at a BFing mom. And while you might think privately that it's inappropriate I doubt you'd be as blatant about it as the OP's male compatriots. I think she needs to find new friends all around.
FWIW, the last time I personally nursed in public was months ago on a 5 hour flight, and the time before that was in the international terminal at YVR. What kind of assh*le airport doesn't have a womens' lounge in the f*ckin international terminal, seriously.
That came out really wrong, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that nursing moms should stay home. Gosh, I feel really stupid.
Bleh.
I heart you.
PW you were off base there, good of you to realize and rescind.
Usually at parties, there is another room, like a bedroom or something, where you can have a bit of privacy without needing a cover. That's what I did. Less distraction for the kiddo, too.
I mean, let's at least try to meet halfway between the kid's need to eat and others' desire not to feel uncomfortable.
I read that response at work and busted out laughing in an empty office. The one guy left downstairs must have thought I was nuts. "helpfulmom" was not helpful at all, just a deranged lunatic.
I don't see why you can't just avert your eyes if you don't want to see boobs. Problem solved.
If I was the host of that party, I'd tell the other guests who complained to get over it. I'm not a mom yet, but I strongly support NIP, and while I personally anticipate using a cover because I'm pretty modest like that, I really appreciate people who push the envelope.
I wandered over here in total boredom and stumbled across this post - um, I love you, although we've never met I think it's the real deal!