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Restraining orders

Ok, people.  I am not happy to report but I sent my ex an email yesterday telling him I was selling his engagment ring on craiglist.  And I followed up by saying he could buy it back for his girlfriend if he wanted to.  Mind you I very rarely ever contact him.  We have a two year old son so obviously we have to talk.  In the beginning like six months ago you may recall I sent ONE email to his girlfriend telling her what I felt about everything that had happened.  It did not have any threats or foul language.  Also, I have never made any threats to him. 

So he emailed me back this morning and told me if I contact him again he is going to get a restraining order.  How the hell can he get a restraining order.  So how are we going to meet to exchange our son or discuss matters about our son if he puts a restraining order.  He is such a f*cking idiot.  So after all the crap we have been through he doesn't expect me to tell him anything rude ever?? 

I guess I should call my attorney about this but seriously I could see if I threatened him or said something highly inappropriate.  Which I did not.

 

"How often does the other woman get a happy ending?" Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl
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Re: Restraining orders

  • Seriously? Just leave the guy alone. He obviously wants nothing to do with you, but it still seems like he's a part of your every day life for you. You need to move on, like, yesterday.

     


    image
  • Ignore him.  He's not a lawyer nor is he in law enforcement.  He's simply trying to rile you up.  Don't let him.
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  • imageLookingUp:
    Seriously? Just leave the guy alone. He obviously wants nothing to do with you, but it still seems like he's a part of your every day life for you. You need to move on, like, yesterday.

     


    Agreed. Then call your attorney, unless you want to start paying us to deal with your crazy. I'll bill you at $200/hr because I'm nice and you talk enough for that to be a worthwhile discount.  

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  • Get off his d!ck.  Stop pining away, and stop trying to bait and anger him.  I can't believe you're someone's mother -- you consistently act like an adolescent.

    I'd try for a restraining order too, if I were in his shoes.  As far as communication regarding your son goes, do you really think that's a deterrent?  The communication will just be through a 3rd party.  You are not the first unhinged co-parent who harassed his or her ex. There are systems in place.

    You need to get a grip, crazycakes.

    So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

  • WHY would he want to give his gf the ring he gave you?  Do people really do that?!?
    The day I left was just my beginning.
  • imageMintChocoChip:
    imageLookingUp:
    Seriously? Just leave the guy alone. He obviously wants nothing to do with you, but it still seems like he's a part of your every day life for you. You need to move on, like, yesterday.

     


    Agreed. Then call your attorney, unless you want to start paying us to deal with your crazy. I'll bill you at $200/hr because I'm nice and you talk enough for that to be a worthwhile discount.  

    LOL.

    Any way the wind blows...
  • imagerakattack:
    WHY would he want to give his gf the ring he gave you?  Do people really do that?!?

    It was sarcasm.  Of course I didn't think he wants it.  I considered giving it back to him but my friends thought I shouldn't. 

    "How often does the other woman get a happy ending?" Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl
  • Yeah, you have to talk to him about matters to do with your kid, and it doesn't even sound like he has a problem with that.  but this has nothing to do with your kid and he doesn't want to hear it, so leave him alone unless it's specifically to make a direct statement about your exchange of DS. I mean I don't have kids so I'm not in your situation, but that would be my MO.

    Also, your avatar... are you pregant? It's quite possible I missed that one...
    Vacation
  • WHY in the world did you even email him? i highly doubt he wants to give your ring to his new girlfriend. QUIT EMAILING HIM. Sure he can't get a restraining order for real, but he is obviously very annoyed and just wants you to leave him alone. SO LEAVE HIM ALONE! Quit finding stupid excuses to email him.
  • I can actually come up with a lot of things he has said to harass and hurt me on the phone over the past few months.  Maybe I should get a restraining order before he does.
    "How often does the other woman get a happy ending?" Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl
  • I really wouldn't be surprised if dmnds had most of us blocked.  People are rapidly losing sympathy and telling her she's nuttier than a squirrel's poop, and she still posts the same stuff!!!

    So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

  • imagedmndsr4eva:
    I can actually come up with a lot of things he has said to harass and hurt me on the phone over the past few months.  Maybe I should get a restraining order before he does.

     

    then leave him alone.

    See how easy that was?

    So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

  • imagekippersophie:
    Yeah, you have to talk to him about matters to do with your kid, and it doesn't even sound like he has a problem with that.  but this has nothing to do with your kid and he doesn't want to hear it, so leave him alone unless it's specifically to make a direct statement about your exchange of DS. I mean I don't have kids so I'm not in your situation, but that would be my MO.

    Also, your avatar... are you pregant? It's quite possible I missed that one...

    No.  My account was opened on the bump because I mainly came on here to talk about parenting.

    "How often does the other woman get a happy ending?" Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl
  • Stop contacting him unless it has to do directly with your son. 
    Photobucket
  • Ok, weren't you just posting a day or two ago on the bump blended families about how you are so in love with your bf and he and your child are so attached and you are talking about marriage and you are having trouble with his child's mom?

    That post and this post prove that you are NOT in a healthy place. And I don't blame your ex for threatening a restraining order. You don't have to talk for your son. You can communication via email (which is better anyway because you have a paper trail). You can exchange your ds with a third party present.

    You could have simply let him know you were selling the ring. The comment about him maybe wanting to buy it for his gf is where you got a little nutty and crossed the line.

  • imagedmndsr4eva:
    I can actually come up with a lot of things he has said to harass and hurt me on the phone over the past few months.  Maybe I should get a restraining order before he does.

    Dmnds. Stop it. Stop thinking about him, stop contacting him, stop doing anything that has anything to do with him. He doesn't want you. Find something else to live for. 

    image
  • imagedmndsr4eva:

    imagerakattack:
    WHY would he want to give his gf the ring he gave you?  Do people really do that?!?

    It was sarcasm.  Of course I didn't think he wants it.  I considered giving it back to him but my friends thought I shouldn't. 

    And you went ahead and asked him to buy the ring even though????  You totally deserved the response that you got from him.

  • imagedmndsr4eva:
    I can actually come up with a lot of things he has said to harass and hurt me on the phone over the past few months.  Maybe I should get a restraining order before he does.

    You are crazy.  No one is going to take your word regarding hurtful things he's said to you over the phone.  You would need actual, solid proof - i.e. an email or text.  Stop talking to him on the phone.  Communicate only via email, and stick to matters regarding your DS.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagedmndsr4eva:

    Ok, people.  I am not happy to report but I sent my ex an email yesterday telling him I was selling his engagment ring on craiglist.  And I followed up by saying he could buy it back for his girlfriend if he wanted to.  Mind you I very rarely ever contact him.  We have a two year old son so obviously we have to talk.  In the beginning like six months ago you may recall I sent ONE email to his girlfriend telling her what I felt about everything that had happened.  It did not have any threats or foul language.  Also, I have never made any threats to him. 

    So he emailed me back this morning and told me if I contact him again he is going to get a restraining order.  How the hell can he get a restraining order.  So how are we going to meet to exchange our son or discuss matters about our son if he puts a restraining order.  He is such a f*cking idiot.  So after all the crap we have been through he doesn't expect me to tell him anything rude ever?? 

    I guess I should call my attorney about this but seriously I could see if I threatened him or said something highly inappropriate.  Which I did not.

     

    Yeah, it can totally happen.  You'll have to go through lawyers for every.single.bit of communication ($$) and have a third party, most likely court appointed, present to echange your son ($$). 

    Just let it go.  For real.  Write out stuff if you need to "get it out" but for the love of pete don't hit send.  Don't even type his name in the "to" field.  Journal it, and move on.  And get in therapy.

    image
  • FFS.

    Let.it.go.

    Quit contacting him about ANYTHING that does not EXPLICITLY have to do with your son. Do that only via email. Get some therapy, and move on. 

    image
    "You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
  • imageHeavenlyExcitedBride:
    imagedmndsr4eva:

    imagerakattack:
    WHY would he want to give his gf the ring he gave you?  Do people really do that?!?

    It was sarcasm.  Of course I didn't think he wants it.  I considered giving it back to him but my friends thought I shouldn't. 

    And you went ahead and asked him to buy the ring even though????  You totally deserved the response that you got from him.

    This is ridiculous, Dmnds.  You're asking for trouble and complaining when you get it.  If you wanted to give him the ring back, fine, email him about it.  No need to mention the GF at all.  But it's yours, so there is no need to even tell him that you're selling it.  His response is completely warranted.

  • -lurker who normally posts on blended families chiming in-

    OP, I agree with ppers that based on what you've posted on blended families and here, it does not seem like you are in a good place with balancing between your exh and your new bf.  I think you need to take a break and step back and focus on your ds.  

    Just take a breath and think about your ds and what is best for him.  Now, I thought my blended family situation was messed up, but we at least hide our disagreements from our dc.  I got to see the other side of it once when I was in family court.  There was an emergency case that came through so it had to go before our case and we had to watch it.  It was for restraining orders between two separated parents.  Listening to them tell their stories, from an outsider's perspective it seemed 100% clear that this was a case of two people acting immature, impulsively, and inappropriately towards each other- no abuse, just normal stuff that happens during a bad breakup.  The difference here is that there were kids involved.  Now these kids have to do parenting time transfers at the police department.  They saw a fight between their parents escalate and the police have to be called.  They were separated from their mother for a week when the first restraining order went into place.  I can't imagine what these kids are going through and how this is going to affect them longer term.  I know sometimes things like this are unavoidable, but if they can be avoided they should be, at all costs!

    Seeing this case made me thank my lucky stars that I am just dealing with an a-hole ex and not one who escalates things to this extent.  Yes, your ex-h hurt you when he cheated on and left you.  But you have to man up and be a bigger person now, for your son.  Do you know how often I want to send my ex-h angry emails?  Less now, but the urge still comes... but I never give in to that urge because I take a breath and think about my dc.   You need to center yourself and get on a better emotional path so that things will stop escalating, or else you are setting up your dc to suffer.

    Sorry to be so strong worded, but hopefully this will be a wake-up call for you.  

  • imageUDscoobychick:
    imageHeavenlyExcitedBride:
    imagedmndsr4eva:

    imagerakattack:
    WHY would he want to give his gf the ring he gave you?  Do people really do that?!?

    It was sarcasm.  Of course I didn't think he wants it.  I considered giving it back to him but my friends thought I shouldn't. 

    And you went ahead and asked him to buy the ring even though????  You totally deserved the response that you got from him.

     

    THIS

    This is ridiculous, Dmnds.  You're asking for trouble and complaining when you get it.  If you wanted to give him the ring back, fine, email him about it.  No need to mention the GF at all.  But it's yours, so there is no need to even tell him that you're selling it.  His response is completely warranted.

  • 1) I'm willing to bet you contact him a lot more than you're telling us you do
     
    2) Asking him if he wants to buy your e-ring back was purely a way to push his buttons and get a response out of him. You and I both know he wouldn't want do that, and that it would piss him off. Congratulations. Now quit it and leave him the eff alone.
    image
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I thought at some point your pride would have kicked in and you'd stop letting your ex know that you're still hung up on him.

    Guess not.

    Stop being the crazy ex-girlfriend.  Just stop.  Every time you open your mouth, he's able to validate to his gf why he left you.  Stop giving him ammo, cheesus!

    This is my siggy.
  • Based on your posts here and on BF, I would consider getting a PPO against you if I were him. 

    Stop showing your crazy.  Leave him alone. 

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  • Wow this is just embarrassing. I'm constantly amazed that people really think these sort of emails will "get" to the other person. My ex send me all kinds of crazy stuff. Does it hurt me? Rile me up? Not at all. What it does do is provide some humor for my friends and I as we laugh ourselves silly about how desperate and ridiculous he is. 
  • imagePrettyInPearls23:
    1) I'm willing to bet you contact him a lot more than you're telling us you do
     
    2) Asking him if he wants to buy your e-ring back was purely a way to push his buttons and get a response out of him. You and I both know he wouldn't want do that, and that it would piss him off. Congratulations. Now quit it and leave him the eff alone.

    Agreed with all of this. You need to calm the heck down, Chica. With him only contacting you through phones (supposedly) and not emailing, then you emailing him all of this, he could easily build up a nice solid case of harassment against you.  So, back away from any forms of contacting him and all will be right with the world.

  • Your comments regarding giving the ring to his gf and you getting the restraining order first are extremely childish.

    I hope you raise your child differently than you're acting now. 

    image
    They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
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