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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Oh, Baby Wednesday...
Some questions to get us started...
-Do you have or are you planning on having a midwife, doula, regular doctor or no one? Am I missing any options?
-What factors did you/will you consider when choosing one? Is it just them you will take into consideration, or the office as a whole?
-For those that will be or want to adopt or do surrogacy, do you have the desire to experience most everything the woman carrying your child will? On the Little Couple, Jen tagged along and got herself a massage as well and something similar happened on Desperate Housewives recently.
-Have you ever used pregnancy or pretended to be pregnant for your benefit? For instance, getting a better parking spot at work, getting out of a speeding ticket or cutting through the line at the grocery store?
-Some stores have spots up at the front next to the handicap spots for 'Expecting Mother's'. Do you park in them even though you are not pregnant?
-What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?
-Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?
-Who do you love and what are you doing about it?
-What's a belief that you hold with which many people disagree?
-What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?
Re: Oh, Baby Wednesday...
Wow the day I pick to hang out on the board... there are a load of GOOD questions!! HAHA I'm off to put them in a Word document and see if I can answer them!
This sort of hits one of your questions, I never used the expectant mother parking when I was pg, because I didn't need it. I didn't even need it when I had a new born. However, now that I have a toddler, I so wish they had "Moms with a toddler parking." It is hard getting a 1 1/2 year old who wants to do everything by herself from the car into the store.
Are you kidding me???? Oh Lord....
I have been asked to do something that I'm not comfortable with. It's not related to Bill at all, but I feel incredibly guilty right now. However, if I don't do what I was asked to do, I will have to tattle on someone else and then they'll bring down the hammer on me for getting them in trouble. I don't like this at all.....
Julie - Can you go to the person you'd be tattling on and talk to them about how to resolve the situation - basically, put it back in their hands?
These are tough questions - good job Jaymi! I'm working on them in Word
ETA - Shandars, Kira is absolutely precious. That is all.
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Sadly we had no picture taker on us
That situation would have me sick to my stomach. Can you kindly pass on the offer and ask them to find someone else?
There are some people whose "help" ends up being more work on your part so they aren't really much help at all so I would take the "They are so much help" advice with a grain of salt. It so dependent on each person.
Stick to your guns. It will be stressful enough without her drama.
-Do you have or are you planning on having a midwife, doula, regular doctor or no one? Am I missing any options? I don?t even know what a doula is. I?ll just have a regular old lady doc.
-What factors did you/will you consider when choosing one? Is it just them you will take into consideration, or the office as a whole? Before we start trying, I?ll be finding a new doctor. I?ve been going to mine for 3 or so years, and she?s great ? but the office is HORRIBLE. Like, they called me to REschedule my ultrasound after my last annual? only, I?m not pregnant, and hadn?t made an appointment. When I explained, they apologized and said they?d cancel the appointment. Nope, I got a reminder phone call for it. And that?s just one of the things they?ve failed on, so I?ll be looking for a new doc before it actually matters. I have no idea how to find one though? I have started thinking about which hospital I?d prefer, and then I plan to check out the doctors affiliated with that hospital. Other than that, I have no idea how to find a new doc.
-Have you ever used pregnancy or pretended to be pregnant for your benefit? For instance, getting a better parking spot at work, getting out of a speeding ticket or cutting through the line at the grocery store? No.
-Some stores have spots up at the front next to the handicap spots for 'Expecting Mother's'. Do you park in them even though you are not pregnant? No. Although, I think it should also include new mothers? my mom always said, When you?re pregnant, you can walk & open the door for yourself, but when you?re toting a baby, that becomes a lot more difficult!
-What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago? Five years ago I was in college? I can?t really think of much I wish I?d done in college
-Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know? I am a question asker when it comes to work things, but personal things, I?m usually too timid to ask all the right questions. This makes me nervous about having to find a new doctor, because I am afraid that I?ll just be timid and end up going to a doctor that I don?t love.
-Who do you love and what are you doing about it? Strangely, this is kind of a hard question for me. I am not an overly passionate person about causes and that sort of thing. I love my family ? they?re probably the most important ?thing? to me. I try to make time to see them frequently, but don?t always do the best job of that.
-What's a belief that you hold with which many people disagree? I honestly believe that things work out for the best. A lot of people say they?re optimistic but then aren?t really, but I really, truly am an optimist, and I also really think that maintaining my optimism is one of the reasons that things do tend to work out well for me. It?s kind of a cyclical thing.
-What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago? Enjoy my weekends. This sounds silly, but my previous job was taking over my whole life, and making me a nervous, stressed out wreck. Now, my weekends are my own, and it?s pretty amazing.
-What factors did you/will you consider when choosing one? Is it just them you will take into consideration, or the office as a whole? Again, I have been going to my regular doctor for years and will until one of us dies.
-Have you ever used pregnancy or pretended to be pregnant for your benefit? For instance, getting a better parking spot at work, getting out of a speeding ticket or cutting through the line at the grocery store? LOL no!
-Some stores have spots up at the front next to the handicap spots for 'Expecting Mother's'. Do you park in them even though you are not pregnant? No way! I do get really mad though on Saturdays when all I go to the mall for is a smoothie at Frulatti and all the "20 minute" parking spaces are gone.
-What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago? I wish I had spent more time with Melodie.
-What's a belief that you hold with which many people disagree? I don't think things in life are black and white. There is not always one right way, one right answer, etc. Thinking this way is comfortable for most people and IMO is why there is so much division in our society.
-What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago? Man, Jaymi, these questions are tough!
I really can't think of anything.
With All the Trimmings
Just do it!
I really, really hope this doesn't sound terrible, and please forgive me if it does. But are you out of your mind? "Recently getting along a little" and "civil conversations" doesn't translate to her moving in with you. Not by a longshot.
With All the Trimmings
Just do it!
Can you elaborate a little more so we can help?
With All the Trimmings
Just do it!
I love you. And ditto this.
If you need the help, she could always come over for a few hours each day to help out - there is absolutely no need for her to move in with you.
-What factors did you/will you consider when choosing one? Is it just them you will take into consideration, or the office as a whole? I did not like the birth experience I had with ds #1 so I went to a birthing center in austin with #2 and loved it. I have even thought about going back to austin just to give birth to #3 if that ever happens.
-Have you ever used pregnancy or pretended to be pregnant for your benefit? For instance, getting a better parking spot at work, getting out of a speeding ticket or cutting through the line at the grocery store? LOL no!
-Some stores have spots up at the front next to the handicap spots for 'Expecting Mother's'. Do you park in them even though you are not pregnant? I only use them when I had a newborn and toddler together. If I am able to walk then I will walk.
-What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago? Saving money
-What's a belief that you hold with which many people disagree? You need to do what is best for you and your family.
-What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago? taking care of two babies on my own
I really shouldn't mainly because most of you know where I work. The person who wants this though was extremely nasty to me the past two years, including one of the days before my mother died. This year, she is very nice to me (almost like how things used to be between us). Needless to say, if I--even quietly--decide to go against her wishes, then questions could be asked. It could not only get her in trouble but also two other people who really are my friends and were given the same orders.
I am sure that no one would say anything, but we've had a principal up until recently who micromanaged everything. This very thing would have gotten me (us) in pretty big trouble with him, but I don't think our interim would really care so much (coaches apparently do this very thing all the time when they have to go out of town for a tournament and they aren't leaving until after school is out for the day).
Hee, I am enjoying everyone's answers!
If I had it all to do over again, although I would still use my OB and have my baby in a hospital, there are definitely things I would do differently.
Julie, is there no one you can turn to? I think you have to do what is best for you in this situation, and not worry about anyone else.
I am actually struggling with something at work also. But for me, it's going to HR about something going on which may or may not even result in anything being done and could make some of my co-workers mad at me if they found out. So it's probably best that I just stay out of it.
With All the Trimmings
Just do it!
Thanks ladies. I think I had that moment of thinking, I could have the loving mother situation like other people.
I love all the replies! Angie when I was looking for mine I first picked the hospital I wanted. I choose Harris SW because friend's had a good experience and it was super close to the house. Then I just looked at the doctor's and went from there. Honestly, I've noticed the doctor's who have appointments far off are considered the best. At least all the offices I've worked at have worked that way.
Julie, I hope it works out. I can't offer any help though since I can't fully understand what's going on.
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Awww, this breaks my heart because I know you want that. But that's not to say you can't have that relationship someday, just that her moving in doesn't assure it, and in fact, could be a disaster.
With All the Trimmings
Just do it!
Yea I know. I think after thinking about it the reason the "relationship" has been decent is because we don't really communicate too much right now.
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-What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago? Ok, I thought of something. We are living debt free and saving. When Ben told me we would save $X every month, I told him he was nuts. Thankfully, I was wrong and he was right.
With All the Trimmings
Just do it!
The best feeling in the world!
I just realized tomorrow is March 1st! We will be coming fully tomorrow. Well if I can get ahold of this one friend! I can't wait!
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Deepthi,
Like others have said, this completely breaks my heart.
At some point today, I will have a few minutes to answer the other questions. However, now, it's lunch time and that's pretty important.
-Do you have or are you planning on having a midwife, doula, regular doctor or no one? Am I missing any options?
Just my OBGYN! What is a doula?
-What factors did you/will you consider when choosing one? Is it just them you will take into consideration, or the office as a whole?
Just bc I love my doc and I know she will take care of me. Not only that, she is a friend of the family. J
-Have you ever used pregnancy or pretended to be pregnant for your benefit? For instance, getting a better parking spot at work, getting out of a speeding ticket or cutting through the line at the grocery store? Definitely no
-Some stores have spots up at the front next to the handicap spots for 'Expecting Mother's'. Do you park in them even though you are not pregnant? No
-What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago? Hmmm 5 yrs ago was a very tough year? and I spent a lot of time getting to know me, getting closer to God and family during the latter part of the year. So I would say probably should have spent more time listening to my instincts, heart, gut, etc. J
-Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know? I think I tend to do a little of both. (lame answer! HA)
-Who do you love and what are you doing about it? Oh goodness, I could have a list forever long of names here. I try to let them know verbally, by spending time with them, emailing, sending cards, helping others, etc. I really don't think there is a right or wrong here and everyone is different in the way they express love to others. Those are just the things I could think of quickly.
-What's a belief that you hold with which many people disagree? I have to ponder on this longer!?
-What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago? Pay down debt rather than paying for our wedding! J
-Do you have or are you planning on having a midwife, doula, regular doctor or no one? Am I missing any options?
I'm pretty open to a midwife and I would say a doula too but I'm not positive on what that is either or how they differ and don't care to google it right now. I want a natural birth and would honestly prefer a home birth or at a birthing center.
-What factors did you/will you consider when choosing one? Is it just them you will take into consideration, or the office as a whole?
For me, I will consider the whole office. The office staff is one reason why I am leaving my gyn. I actually enjoy the office lady and the doctor at the new place I went to last month but I much prefer the sonogram lady at my old office. And I just got a bill for the sonogram with the new office when I've never been charged for it at my old office.
-For those that will be or want to adopt or do surrogacy, do you have the desire to experience most everything the woman carrying your child will? On the Little Couple, Jen tagged along and got herself a massage as well and something similar happened on Desperate Housewives recently.
I think I would partake. Why pass up a massage?
-Have you ever used pregnancy or pretended to be pregnant for your benefit? For instance, getting a better parking spot at work, getting out of a speeding ticket or cutting through the line at the grocery store?
No.
-Some stores have spots up at the front next to the handicap spots for 'Expecting Mother's'. Do you park in them even though you are not pregnant?
I may or may not have until I read a blog post on omgmom about pregnancy and peeing 2+ years ago. Now I absolutely don't because I hope that when I'm 8 months pregnant going to the store, someone would allow me the courtesy to park closer.
-What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?
Enjoying life and college instead of acting like I was 40 when I was 20. I wish I wouldn't have been so shy about doing things, I wish I would have actually gone to the rec center that I was having to pay for anyway. The time I spent with my grandmother went down when I moved out due to both of our schedules. I wish I would have made more of an effort.
-Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?
I don't ask questions at work unless it's dire because it's truly frowned upon even though they say it isn't. But everywhere else I think I ask questions if it interests me, otherwise I will settle for what I know since I don't really care one way or the other.
-Who do you love and what are you doing about it?
My husband. I tag along to his things even if they don't interest me, although I've stopped doing it so often. I buy him stupid things randomly; 2 are bags of candy (gummy bears with "I can't bear to live without you" on the package and green leaf gummies with "I will never leaf you") that I plan on hiding for him and even though we don't celebrate St. Patty's Day, I bought him a pair of PJ's last weekend with green beer and clovers.
-What's a belief that you hold with which many people disagree?
I hope I don't offend anyone with this so I'm going to keep it short but I don't exactly agree with baby first when pregnant, NO MATTER WHAT. I've had to see my BIL do it and I don't want my DH to have to go through raising a kid alone.
-What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?
Who picked these questions? I'll have to think on this one.
If you aren't comfortable going to HR, at least document things to CYA. And if does come about later, you'll have it ready to go and won't have to rack your brain on what happened months ago.
-For those that will be or want to adopt or do surrogacy, do you have the desire to experience most everything the woman carrying your child will? On the Little Couple, Jen tagged along and got herself a massage as well and something similar happened on Desperate Housewives recently.I don't think we'll go that far--we'll do a semi-private. She can get pictures from us and we can get the medical history of the parents' families. Bill really wants closed but I think the medical history is important.
-What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?Losing weight. Also, in a few months, it'll be five years since Bill and I met and I wish I had been more active in meeting him.
A doula is like a coach who supports you during your labor and delivery. She does not assist with any medical aspect or the delivery itself (unlike a midwife who takes the place of a M.D.). You might be asking, why would I want a doula when my husband will be there? Although a fair question, when I had Melodie, I never even looked Matt's way. I hung on to the nurse who was closest to me for dear life. Some women like the idea of having a woman who has been through labor and actually understands what you are experiencing to be there to help out.
With All the Trimmings
Just do it!