Family Matters
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What to do for dying mom
Hello there -
I'm fairly new to the nest, but thought I might be able to get some help here. My mother had a lung transplant 5 years ago and is now in chronic rejection and has been given about 6 months to live. She is on oxygen all the time, so can't do much, and is wheelchair bound during the rare times she leaves the house.
I keep racking my brain trying to figure out what I can do for her. I'm already going to her house several days a week and cooking, cleaning and keeping her company.
Should I make her a special blanket or throw? Have fresh flowers sent once a month? I'm stumped.
Re: What to do for dying mom
Can she do stuff? Like puzzles, games, that kind of thing?
I'd try to generate quality time. Going over to her house and making a pie while she sits with you in the kitchen, or sitting and doing a puzzle with her, or playing cards, Asking her about her growing up years, high school, favorite songs, how she met your dad, what her advice would be for X situation, all that. Get her to write things down for you; sit around and make up haikus, or play MadLibs, or Yahtzee, anything to spend your time together.
Ohhh, I really like the questions and getting her to tell stories. Thanks!
Today Instead of Working
I was thinking the same as Sue Sue. Ask her lots of questions, get stories and history from her.
I am so sorry about your mom.
I agree- spend time with her. That?s really the most important thing. And I agree with SueSue ? get her to tell you stories, and ask questions! About her, about your childhood, what raising you was like, etc.
It?s hard to know what the future will hold, but my mom died 6 years ago and now that I have a son, there is so much that I really wish I could ask her. Not necessarily advice (until you?re in a situation, it?s hard to know what you?ll want/need to know!), but more about my childhood, what being a mom was like back then, etc. My dad is still alive, but he doesn?t have the memory for all that stuff that I KNOW she would have! It?s one of the things I really regret and miss.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
*lurker coming out for a minute*
I don't mean to pry, but do you have children or plan on having children in the future? The reason I ask is because my grandfather passed away last year. I am the 3rd oldest out of his grandchildren, and there are many more great grandkids to come. Before he passed away, even though he was so weak he could barely talk, grandpa recorded one of those recordable storybooks for his grandchildren (all 9 of us got our own) to share with the children/future children. It means so much to me to be able to share that with my future kids. And, occasionally when I'm really missing grandpa, I listen to it myself just to hear his voice again.
Just a suggestion!
*sneaks back to lurking*
ETA: I realize you asked for advice on how to help your mom, but I know this was something my grandpa wanted to do to ensure the family wouldn't forget him.
First off, I'm so sorry about your mom. I lost my mom when I was 23 due to lung cancer.
I'm going to echo what the others say....TIME is the greatest gift you can give her and yourself. You have an opportunity to make sure that nothing is left unsaid, and spend time with someone that was undoubtably a huge influence on your life.
The last 3 months of my moms life, I was her caregiver, and we got to spend time, and do lots of talking. I wouldn't trade that time for anyting in the world...
And I love the recordable story book idea. Wish they had those when my mom was ill. That would have been a wonderful gift...