International Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Abortion poll
We got to talking about this on my BMB and I was curious...[Poll]
Re: Abortion poll
I answered "kind of" b/c I had an ectopic pregnancy. The diagnosis took a while and when it finally was diagnosed I was given two options: 1) immediate surgery (to remove the blocked fallopian tube) or 2) immediate injection w/ a cancer-drug (it stops cell growth). The doctor literally said I could not leave the hospital w/o choosing one of those choices (obviously there weren't armed guards detaining me, but pretty much it was a this-is-unsafe and you can't continue so decide now scenario).
Medically speaking, viability, was an impossibility. I would have either miscarried or the growing embryo/cells/child (depending on your pov) would have caused the fallopian tube to rupture-- ending the embryo's development and doing some rather unpleasant things to my innards. Thus, the doc only gave me options 1 and 2.
I went with choice 2.
While I personally don't consider getting the shots an "abortion" (b/c the pregnancy would never have been viable), I guess it's possible to say being injected with drugs to retard the ectopic development is an abortion. To the extent one believe's that, I guess it'd fall under the medical necessity category as my choice was tubal removal or growth retarding drugs.
H and I would have very much welcomed a baby into our lives, so the whole experience, whatever you label it, was quite sad/disappointing/upsetting.
Seriously MrsBini? First of all, this is not the Bump.
Second of all, this could be a sensitive topic for a lot of people. I have no clue why you think this is appropriate.
Dave & Jennifer 10.18.08
My Doha Adventures
Sorry MrsBini, I'm with Jenny on this.
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks
But you seem to enjoy finding things to give me a hard time about for some reason. I think for a mod, *that* is inappropriate.
? I'm confused. This is an anonymous, voluntary poll that is clearly labeled in the title. If it's a subject that's sensitive to someone you would think they would see that in the title and avoid it. I don't understand how it's inappropriate.
I agree.
Jenny - do you not go on to any of the other boards?
I'm a regular on money matters and politics and discussion of abortion comes up at least monthly, if not more.
There are a lot of subjects that might be sensitive to different people but if a post is labeled appropriately like this one is, you can clearly avoid it.
I agree with Kelly. Furthermore, it really does read like a poll, not a "I'm hiding behind a poll to express a crazy opinion" kind of post.
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks
I don't know if inappropriate is the right word, but this poll struck me as strange and random - at the same time I could certainly see how some people may find it offensive - I kind of did to be honest, and I didn't vote. I saw it when I woke up this morning (OCD morning routine of open eyes, check IN, check kids, pee) and had a WTH moment when I saw this - it just seems like such a random and intrusive thing to ask. I'm used to seeing polls on whether or not you agree with abortion, etc. but not a direct question of whether or not you have actually had one - given that it wasn't something that was discussed on the board recently or a spin off of something.
I also don't think that Jennybee being a mod should prevent her from having an opinion that's treated as validly as any of us lowly non-mod peons.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
I personally have no problem with the poll, but seeing as abortion. ttc or anything baby related isn't a sensitive subject for me (yet - might become, but as I've never started trying yet, there's no sensitivity yet kwim) I guess questions like this don't bother me.
I've taken the morning after pill, don't believe that's abortion - not 'kind-of' either. I knew a girl who believed taking the pill or actually even using condoms was killing potential babies - I strongly disagree with that.
My food blog
What I'm looking forward to in 2012:
Eating our way through (northern) Italy on vacation
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home DThank you for your kind words. It's been just about 2yrs, so we've had some time to adjust. I will admit the initial "decision" was pretty tough-- even though rationally I knew the "decision" wasn't ours to make, I still felt horrible about taking the shots.
While I was never an I MUST be a mommy kinda person, H and I never, ever, ever would have terminated a healthy pregnancy. It was one of the worst experiences of my life, but, I'm one of those "things happen for a reason" kind of people. I don't know and I can't even possibly imagine the reason for this, but I'm hopeful that somewhere beneath the sadness, there's a reason, which someday/someway will become apparent.
Anyway, appreciate the kind words and also hope that I didn't offend anyone with the rather graphic explanation.
I absolutely agree it's a sensitive subject. And personally, I'd never offer an opinion/judgment about another's decision. All I can say from my experience (whatever you call it/consider it) is that I felt incredibly alone. And that's with a wonderful H, the best sister anyone could want, and a pretty good sport Mom.
At the end of the day, I gotta say, judge not lest you be judged. I sincerely hope no one reading this has to be in the position to make such a choice.
This board doesn't stick to its intended topic 100% of the time either. I am not sure why this post is so divisive.
I've just come in for the night and a bit drunk, hehe. Strangely enough I was listening to some Wire "I am the Fly (in the Ointment)"....
Anyway, I think the topic is a bit too personal. I do think it should be a conversation women should feel comfortable having, but not totally in these surroundings. It's also a really personal question and maybe it should have a NINR beforehand. While I appreciate the anonymous poll, I don't really want to answer it b/c I am just a lurker and find the OP's poll a bit annoying, sorry.
I think there should be more education in schools as well since clearly parents do not give enough information to their children.
Bio
I am really sorry for starting something - I'm usually super non-confrontational on the internet. I think, for me, it's the term abortion - it's generally hated on my TTC-After a Loss board just due to the connotations. Many of us had to have a D&C but I would never call it an abortion although that's the term on most of the paperwork. I'm obviously super sensitive about all the TTC stuff lately.
I totally agree - was my choice to open the post and it was clearly labelled!
I also think it's sad that so many things around conception and pregnancy are so secretive. I hardly ever tell anyone (IRL) about this stuff but when I have, it turns out more people can relate than I would have thought. It's a shame that it's all shrouded in so much mystery nowadays, it makes the situations so many women face so lonely when there's no need for that.
BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks
If more pro-lifers thought like you, then I think it would make sense to be pro life. A lot of people seems to be against abortion AND contraceptives. What the hell?
I don't think an abortion would ever come into question for me personally (but who knows what I would have thought should I have become pregnant when I was a lot younger), but I want women for whom it is the right choice to be able to have it done legally and safely.
I agree that it might ruffle some feathers, but I'm genuinely curious. SO and I had this discussion recently (no, I'm not pregnant), possibly because it came up on a show I was watching. But since it's something that people rarely talk about, I really don't know how common it is among people in similar socio-economic situations as me. (I also had no idea that abortion is illegal in Brazil, and for some reason I found this very surprising having never lived in a place where it wasn't legal.)
GilliC- I think you might have just hit on the reason this poll could be kind of relevant to IN. The fact is that abortion is still illegal in places around the world where some nesties live. Furthermore, I find it very interesting to see the degrees of openness in discussing this topic in different countries/cultures. Even in the US where abortion is legal it's a very hush-hush topic, as is almost everything relating to a woman's reproductive health. But I've been other places (Russia comes to mind), or maybe just among a certain class of people from other places, where a woman talking to you about her reproductive health is completely normal, whether she knows you well or not.
I was totally fine w/ this poll. I think there are a lot of random discussions on here as well as other boards. It was clearly labeled, anonymous, and didn't seem to be some hidden agenda to spout views.
Pitt - I hated that too. Among all the feelings that go along w/ a m/c, I felt so crummy that my body hadn't given me any sign that the pregnancy was ending, that neither kid (was twins) was alive, so I was really struggling w/ going through the d&c, though everyone struggles w/ that. To then see that on the paperwork felt like kicking me while I was down.
In a paper I read recently it said that about 55% of those women who had an abortion were low income. So that would be about 45% who weren't low income, however it didn't give specific numbers in the higher income group.
Unfortunately there is the possibility that any of us could find out that our fetus has severe birth defects that aren't compatible with life and be faced with the decision of what to do. It would be nice if the subject could be more open for advice and support.